Is there at least one person in your life that you have trouble communicating with? Here are some tips that may help you with that conversation that is sorely needed but seems almost impossible to create.

1) Do it in the head or put it on paper

It can be surprisingly effective to carry out an imaginary dialogue either in the head, or even better, put it on paper. There are countless times when I facilitated a healing conversation for my client with their loved ones and even though it is imaginary, by the end of the dialogue, the client feels more at peace with the other party, due to a deeper understanding of the other party's point of view. Sometimes I even get feedback from the client after the session that there is a noticeable change in the other person or in the relationship without any attempts of the client to do anything different.

To give an example, one of my clients, after having an imaginary dialogue with her father during one of our sessions, reported to me in the next session that days after the session, her father gave her a call. The conversation proceeded on a much deeper level than usal, with her father telling her that he missed and loved her, which were words she usually would not expect coming from him.

Another client had a dialogue with her son who was addicted to gaming. During the session, the "son" said that he would like to replace his gaming hobby with basketball. After the session, the client told me that without her suggestion, her son was now playing basketball with his friends instead of gaming with them.

Don't ask me how that happened... I'm just the middleman and there are too many mysteries in this world that cannot be explained. But I see enough of these little miracles in my sessions to know that this particular method works, and it works damn well! Ultimately, isn't that all that matters?

2) Practice Ho'oponopono

Do you know that it is energetically impossible for a person to stay angry with you if you are in a peaceful centered state? In my workshops, I conduct energy experiments where person A directs angry thoughts towards person B and person B directs loving thoughts towards person A. Participants who are more attuned with their feelins report that while it's hard to play the bad guy i.e. person A, it is even harder to send negative thoughts towards person B once the latter starts bombarding A with loving thoughts. And the shift in the difficulty level of sending out angry thoughts coincide with the cue I give to person B to start sending out loving thoughts.

So the next time you speak with someone who is being angry and negative, keep thinking "I'm sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you" and watch how the atmosphere and the person's attitude change in less than a minute or two.

3) Do the Zip Up

Worried that you will get triggered by the other person's negativity? Do a simple energy technique (taken from Energy Medicine by Donna Eden) where you place your palm below your belly button, and as you inhale, bring your palm up to your chin. Do these a total of 3 times. The effect of this is to "zip up" your energy system, thus shielding yourself from negative energy around you. I tried this before and it works amazingly well (isn't it great that sometimes the best methods in the world also happen to be the easiest?).

4) Visualise

Another simple method is to imagine that you and the other person are surrounded by white light. I do this with my clients almost all of the time and this is undoubtedly one of the contributing factors of high success rate with them.

5) Tap!

Here's a tapping exercise you can try before you approasch the other person:

Tapping on the Karate Chop point, say "Even though I have all these feelings towards that person and I don't even know whether I should be talking to him/her, it's ok, I choose to remain patient, compassionate and understanding, and to speak to him/her from this space of love and acceptance, so that the conversation would lead to healing for bother of us."

Tap on the remaining EFT points noticing the thoughts and emotions that arise as you do so. Finish off by tapping 2-3 rounds of the EFT points and saying "I choose to accept him/her for who he/she is" at each point.

If you do use these tips, do be sure to drop me an email at to let me know how it went. Good luck!

Author's Bio: 

Lena Chen is an experienced EFT practitioner and author of "Emotional Freedom at your fingertips: How to get from PISSED to PEACE in mere minutes with Emotional Freedom Techniques" as well as creator of the EFT Affirmation Cards. Her expertise lies in helping her clients to heal chronic pains, relationship conflicts and depression. With her keen intuition, compassion and the wonderful efficacy of EFT, she has helped hundreds of people to heal themselves, thus improving their self-esteem, health and relationships. To find out more about Lena, please visit her website at or contact her at