Personal power is something that many people think they can “get” by controlling or manipulating others. Actually, power comes from “being” personal power. It’s a quality of radiance. I would not call power over others, personal power. I see that as mere force, based in scarcity and fear mentality. Do you realize that “survival of the fittest” is really just a paradigm? Science already shows that there is no “objective” reality, and Einstein said long ago “reality is an illusion; albeit a very persistent one.”

It’s persisted because we have very little if any awareness of how we are creating it via our perception. It is time for a more collaborative reality, one that encourages innovation and adaptability instead of encouraging competition and hoarding resources. Our feelings play a more powerful role in our experience of perception than mere thinking alone. In fact, the magnetic energy of feeling is about 5,000 times greater than thought. This is one reason why simply saying, “I think I can” without feeling you can typically doesn’t yield the results you are after.

Personal power stems from joy, peace and a sense of spaciousness, expansiveness, and appreciation. When we appreciate our self, other people, our service to others, the good in our life, and our amazing universe, we feel more vitality, have more energy, and we shine. We have more influence than when we do the opposite of this list. True personal power is about influence and inspiring others, not intimidating others. We can get more done with less effort. What keeps us from feeling good? What keeps our energy low and stuck? If I had to say one word, it would be “conditioning.”

Once we are conditioned as children to reject our feelings, particularly when shamed, it can set us on a life-long course to stuff and avoid them. This is very unwise, as repressed feelings not only are unhealthy, they cover over our sense of joy and connection to life. This will impact your finances typically in a negative way (in the form of lack or greed), your quality of relationships, and even your health.

James Brown, the “King of Soul,” used to sing “I feel good,” and that was one man with a lot of energy. In fact, as I recall, he danced all the way to the end of his life. He obviously loved what he did and it showed. He also had a lot of charisma and personal power.

Feel good. Life is too short as it is to have to cut it short with disease and misery just because you have a misperception that feelings are bad. No, feelings are a part of being human. Perception can be changed. I did it, and you can too. Have you noticed how society treats feelings as a whole like a plague? What do you think about this?

Author's Bio: 

Valencia Ray, M.D. teaches business owners and corporate leaders how their amazing brain can actually hijack personal power -- not in the abstract, but in the context of integrating business and personal life. Dr. Ray, a board-certified eye surgeon and medical business owner for over 20 years before selling her practice, shares her own life changing process. By sharing her story, she helps others to expand their vision and learn that by living with purpose and confidence, it is possible to have a more integrated, healthier lifestyle – with less struggle, more inner peace and more abundance.

For more information and to contact her regarding dynamic, inspirational keynotes, trainings in collaborative leadership and team building, entrepreneurship and coaching programs, visit her website at