I've been alive on this planet long enough to have seen that Valentine's Day stirs up a whole bunch of feelings in people. It's a day that is so anticipated and can be so wonderful or disappointing, all just depending on where you are relationship-wise when February 14th rolls around.

How do you feel about it this year? Upbeat? Excited? Or like Eeyore braying "Ohhh
please notice me!"

Why do we fall into such moods on this day? I can remember Valentine's Days filled with fun, romance and hot steamy sex, and others where me and my blankie had a cozy night together...sad and alone. See, that's the deal, it's just a day and there will be good ones and bad ones. We all need to be lowering the pressure on the 'picture' that we have about this day. Could it be about loving yourself and romancing your wonderful self? What would this look like for you? I remember when I made the internal decision that my happiness did not rely on whether I was in a great relationship or not. I just allowed myself to have fun, flirt, hang out with friends and keep a watchful eye for a great guy. Eventually, after much trial and error, I did find one.(and he found me) But--this was AFTER I anchored the concept, that with or without a relationship, I can enjoy my birthday, Christmas, 4th of July and yes, even Valentine's Day.

This Valentine's Day--if you are spending it minus a partner or date, see yourself as your own best friend and give yourself some candy, a present, a dinner, shopping, a night of fun movies at home or anything else you would want to give or share with someone else. This can be a true test of you self-esteem and self-love. Dare yourself to have fun--Keep it light and you may find yourself falling in love with you!

To gear up for the holiday on light note-here are some ways in which I think Valentine's Day is not really all that it's cracked up to be:

10 Reasons Valentine's Day Sucks

1) Those little chalky hearts with the sayings on them? Even kids don’t eat this candy.

2) Chubby babies flying around shooting people with arrows…kinda creepy.

3) It’s really perfectly fine to be single, but you wouldn’t know it in February.

4) Valentine’s Day sucks, but on the other hand, 2 days later you can get chocolate for half price.

5) For women: We diet for an entire month before to be thin, in the hopes that he buys us pretty underwear that we’ll refuse to wear.

6) For men: Take out your wallet for over-priced flowers and dinner knowing you’ll be eating mac’n’cheese out of a box for the next week

7) All the airbrushed pictures of perfect couples everywhere, proving true the suspicion that everyone else is having more fun than you are.

8) Those brain-numbing Hallmark cards; “Like the stars above, so you shine my love.” puke-city

9) The romantic comedy marathons running 24/7. Just in case you forgot you were alone.

10) I used to do singing telegrams on Valentine’s Day, delivering 15-20 songs, tap dances and chocolate hearts to smiling recipients and I was single. It's only because of my Catholic guilt that any of those people got ther chocolate.

Here's to a Happy Valentine's Day whatever that means to you. Best of Luck on your journey..

Author's Bio: 

Relationship Expert, Catherine Cardinal, Ph.D. has been a guest expert on the O'Reilly Factor, Starting Over, Good Day New York, CBS Studio 2, SiriusThe Pink Channel, KABC’s Advice for Life, KTLA Morning Show, KTTV Good Day LA, Playboy, Blind Date, Match.com, and Chemistry.com. She's been a commentator on more than 25 U.S. and international radio programs, and featured in Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Redbook, Ladie's Home Journal, In Touch and Publisher's Weekly. The Los Angeles Times best-selling author of A Cure for the Common Life: The Cardinal Rules of Self-Esteem, Catherine is a Relationship Coach, and creator of "The Cardinal Coaching Technique", a Movement Expression Therapist and Anger Management Facilitator. She has been working with couples for over 20 years. She has taught at The Learning Annex and is on staff at Rejuvalife Vitality Institute in Beverly Hills and The Stress and Anger Management Institute in Manhattan Beach. Her books have been published in seven languages.

Her recent release, Men To Run From, is available on Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble.com, Borders.com and at your local bookstore as is “A Cure for the Common Life: The Cardinal Rules of Self-Esteem.”