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Articles from Dorothy Hayden | Selfgrowth.com
- Internet Porn Makes You Stupid! - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenImagine two funnels, each inverted onto the other. Both the top and the bottom of the funnel represent the cerebral cortex of our brains. It’s what distinguishes us from animals. Rational processes and higher level thinking live in the cerebral cortex. The middle part of the funnel, the ...
Views: 3127 - How Internet Porn Lies to You - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenWhat kinds of ideas is porn putting into our heads? If the wrong things keep getting dumped in, your mental environment can get so polluted that your life is going to have problems. One of the most vital parts of mental environment is a healthy idea of who we are sexually. If these ideas are ...
Views: 2782 - Is Internet Porn a Problem for You? - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenDo you have a Problem with Internet Pornography? Do you find yourself spending increasing amounts of time online looking at pornography or engaged in sexual or romantic intrigue? Do you become involved in multiple romantic or sexual affairs online at the same time? Being truly honest ...
Views: 1606 - How 12-Step Programs Heal Sexual Addicts - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenThe rapid mushrooming of individual 12-step programs throughout the nation and the world in the past 50 years has given millions of people suffering from addiction back their lives, their families, their self-respect and their pride. The methods of the 12- step programs have been borrowed and ...
Views: 2293 - The Heavy, Heavy Price of Sex Addiction - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenLoss of Relationships The life of a sex addict gradually becomes very small, in terms of the number of surrounding loved ones. The freedom of self is impaired. Precious life energies are consumed. The rapacious need for a particular type of experience in the “erotic haze” (See Chapter II) ...
Views: 2500 - From Sex Addiction to Sexual Potential - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenOver the years, the people I have worked with have used various words to describe the end result of their compulsive sexual behaviors: words like shame, anger, depression, anxiety, disappointment, self-hatred, hopelessness and helplessness, usually describe their subjective experience after the ...
Views: 3276 - What are the Objectives of a Total Program of Sex Addiction Treatment? - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenFifteen years ago, people didn’t even know there was such a thing as sex addiction, never mind how to get help for it. With Patrick Carnes’ groundbreaking book Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sex Addiction, people who suffer from self-destructive sexual acts had hope of knowing what ailed ...
Views: 2849 - The "Mindfulness" of Sex Addiction Recovery - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenMindfulness is a method of awareness and introspection which involves a conscious attempt to focus attention intensely on the present moment, noting thoughts, feelings, perception, images and sensation without judging them, participating in them or acting on them. The contents of the mind appear ...
Views: 3164 - Can Hypnotherapy Help in Treating Sex Addiction? - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenThe usual response to the suggestion to one of my clients that hypnotherapy might be useful in the treatment of sexual addiction is typical of the general public’s misguided understanding of hypnotherapy: “I’m afraid of going into trance – I might lose control”; “You’ll find out things about ...
Views: 3516 - Can Neuro-Linguistics Programming Help with Sex Addiction Recovery? - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenNLP is an approach to doing psychotherapy that was all the rage in the 70’s and early 80’s. It is a model of the structure of your inner, subjective experience and how that experience influences behavior. It provides a framework for eliciting the way you experience reality with a focus on ...
Views: 2590 - Psychodynamic Psychotherapy: The Crux of Sexual Addiction Healing - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenIn my opinion, long-term psychodynamic therapy is the most efficient way to cultivate healthy personality development. The most comprehensive treatment combines the empathy, insight and relational abilities of a psychodynamic psychotherapist with the 12-step orientation and cognitive-behavioral ...
Views: 3909 - More Underpinnings of Sex Addiction - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenWhile the sexual behaviors differ, the underlying dynamics of sex addiction are the same. There is always an inability to form a healthy, consistent attachment to a cherished loved one. Perhaps there was a mother who was unable to create a bond with her infant/child that provided the ...
Views: 1536 - The Complexity of Sex Addiction - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenAddiction to sexual behavior is a complex disorder that incorporates many aspects of your personality, bio-chemistry, socio-cultural environment, family-of-origin issues, thinking/feeling processes, self-esteem, and quality of relations with others. I see sex addiction as a prism; depending on ...
Views: 2072 - Who Is A Sex Addict? - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenA sex addict is a person who misuse sex as means of coping with unwanted feelings and life stressors. He looks to repetitive, compulsive sexual activities to fill a need for constant validation that shores up a fragile sense of self. If women desire him in reality or through pornography, his ...
Views: 1428 - What is Addiction? - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenTo be at risk for addiction, two psychological conditions seem to exist during childhood. First, the child has become over- reliant on sources of comfort outside of himself to provide a feeling of being soothed, safe and secure. Second, the child had difficulty making a healthy separation ...
Views: 1187 - What is Sex Addiction, Anyway? - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenAddiction to sexual behavior is a complex disorder that incorporates many aspects of your personality, bio-chemistry, socio-cultural environment, family-of-origin issues, thinking/feeling processes, self-esteem, and quality of relations with others. I see sex addiction as a prism; depending on ...
Views: 1384 - Sex Addicts: Why Can't They Stop? - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenMost addicts would stop if they could. It’s been said that of all the addictions, sex is the most difficult to manage. This syndrome is a complex mixture of biological, psychological, cultural, and family-of-origin issues, the combination of which creates impulses and urges that are virtually ...
Views: 2100 - Oh, NO!! Not Again!! Preventing Relapse in Sex Addiction Recovery - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenRelapse in sexual addiction recovery is a reality. While all addictions are relapse prone, it is the sexual recovery community who suffer most from the demoralization of repeated relapse. After all, we can live without ever being around alcohol or drugs, but our sexuality is ever-present. ...
Views: 4821 - Can Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Help Heal Sex Addiction? - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenThe philosophical basis for cognitive therapy goes back to the Stoic Philosophers who taught that it is not the external event that causes our distress, but rather our perception or interpretation of the event that is distressing. According to the Stoics, people are capable of considering ...
Views: 2878 - Group Therapy As an Aid in Sexual Addiction Recovery - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenGroup therapy is a highly effective treatment modality for sex addicts. It reduces shame and denial, limits isolation, increases socialization skills and the development of empathy. The process fosters the development of intimacy and helps sex addicts develop the coping skills they need to meet ...
Views: 1358 - Can a Marriage Survive Sex Addiction? Here's One That Did - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenCybersex is the use of electronic communications for sexual diversion and includes email, texting, and internet porn. The American Bar Association cites that in 2011 a whopping 50% of the divorces it handles have cybersex implicated in the couple’s demise. The harm and emotional wreckage to the ...
Views: 6090 - Psychopharmocology and Sex Addiction - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenSex addiction recovery typically involves at least psychotherapy,twelve-step groups self-help groups and medication. Medication, while not always necessary, can serve as the “water wings” for negotiating the changes necessary for growth. Certain psychiatrists believe that addiction is ...
Views: 1443 - A Behavioral Modification Approach to Treating Sex Addiction - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy Hayden“Brainlock”, a four-step self-help guide for treating OCD is a book written by Jeffrey Schwartz, M.D., a physician who spent most of his career treating and doing research on Obsessive/Compulsive (OCD) behaviors. His has developed a four-part program self-help program that can be used for ...
Views: 2602 - The Psychological Underpinnings of Sex Addiction - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenThe diagnosis of sex addiction is the same as every addiction: loss of control and continued behavior despite adverse consequences. Sexual addiction differs from other addictions, however. Our sexuality reflects unconscious conflicts, longings and wishes of which we are not aware. In essence, ...
Views: 2990 - The Mystique of the Dominant Woman - Addiction to Pain - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenA number of years ago, in conjunction with my work with treating sexual addiction, a number of masochistic or submissive men began to come to me for help. The clients I saw did not seem immature or inferior. In fact, the reverse seemed to be true. They were successful by social standards: ...
Views: 4130 - Men, Sex Addiction and Depression - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenMy work over the last fifteen years as a psychotherapist treating sexual compulsions has brought me into contact with men - and more men. They come to my consulting room wearing the mask of shame, humiliation, and confusion. Often, after a period of therapy, they come to a common link among ...
Views: 3935 - Sex Addiction as an Intimacy Disorder - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenAttachment patterns have to do with how the infant is tended to by his/her primary caregiver, typically the mother. This means that when an infant is upset, or dysregulated, the "good enough" mother soothes the infant thereby regulating his/her nervous system. This kind of consistent tending to ...
Views: 2572 - A Case Study of One Sex Addict's Recovery - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenSteve is a professional musician. A man in his 50's, virile yet sensitive, he is sexually compulsive around fetishistic sex. Since his early teens, Steve had masturbated nearly every night before going to sleep. As he matured, his need for masturbation increased until he was masturbated five or ...
Views: 3934 - Internet Porn Addiction: Not An Easy Nut to Crack - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenI've been sitting in a room talking to addicts for 25 years. All kinds of addicts. I've participated in the enormous struggles of alcoholics to get sober, cocaine, heroine, methamphetamine, food, love, nicotine, sex...all kinds of addictions. My conclusion, culled from clinical experience, is ...
Views: 2533 - Who Are Sex Addicts and What are They Looking to Find in Sex? - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenWho are sex addicts and what are they hoping to find through their compulsive sexual behavior? Sex addicts are people who, afraid of real, intimate relationships, repeatedly and compulsively try to connect with others through highly impersonal, non intimate behaviors: masturbation, empty ...
Views: 1441 - Sex Addiction Is NOT a Moral Issue! - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenSex is surely one of the most powerful of all human experiences. It can drive people to the pinnacle of ecstasy or it can spiral others to the depths of self-loathing and despair. Sexual expression is meant to tie, or connect, to our core sense of self. Sexual energy is part of our life ...
Views: 1651 - Caution! 37 Things Your Sex Addict Tells Your Real Self - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenThe True Self is capable of objectively observing the Sex Addict Self because it's not obsessively preoccupied with getting it's neurotic needs met. Psychoanalysts call this the “observing ego” and it is considered a sign of maturity. Proponents of Eastern spirituality call the True Self “The ...
Views: 2078 - What's the "Hook" in Sex Addiction? - by Submitted on Mar 20, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenA sex addiction is a habitual response and a source of sexual gratification or emotional security. It is a way of coping with internal feelings and external pressures that provides the Addict” as “Not You”">addict with predictable and consistent immediate gratification, but that has concomitant ...
Views: 1792 - Control Your Destiny: See "The Addict" as "Not You" - by Submitted on Mar 20, 2013 from Dorothy HaydenThe True Self is Reality. It sees the activities of the Addict as being what it is: a fantasy growling for what it compulsively seeks: immediate gratification in the form of physical pleasure. Sex addiction is fueled by a fantasy of being how you never thought you were in your youth together of ...
Views: 1409 - The Vicious Cycle of Adult ADD, Shame, and Sex Addiction - by Submitted on Apr 16, 2011 from Dorothy HaydenBrian is an investment backer in his early forties who, in graduate business school, first began to visit prostitutes, spend money on phone sex, compulsively masturbate and, finally spend as much as 5-10 hours a day looking at internet porn. When sexually acting out, he would feel that someone ...
Views: 3935(2 votes) - Help for the Partners of Sex Addicts - by Submitted on Apr 16, 2011 from Dorothy HaydenFrequently Asked Questions · What is sex addiction? Sex addiction is an obsessive relationship to sexual thoughts, fantasies or activities that an individual continues to engage in despite adverse consequences. These thoughts, fantasies or activities occupy a disproportionate amount of ...
Views: 4007 - Sex Addiction: A Depth Psychology Approach - by Submitted on Apr 16, 2011 from Dorothy HaydenUnderstanding Sex Addiction: A Depth Psychology Approach An Introduction to Sex Addiction It is well known among people in the 12-step sex programs that of all the addictions, sex is the most difficult to master. Far from the notion that sex addiction is the “fun” one, the suffering of ...
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