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Articles from Oliver JR Cooper | Selfgrowth.com
- Attraction: Are We Attracted To What Is Familiar? - by Submitted on Nov 02, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to romantic attraction, it is often said that one is attracted to someone who matches their facial feature in some way. And while there will be couples who do look like each other either in the beginning of the relationship or whose faces will grow to mimic each other’s over time, ...
Views: 2825 - Attraction: Can Trapped Emotions Define Who We Are Attracted To? - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to who one is attracted to and attracts, it can appear to be a random process. And that one has no control over who they attract or are attracted to. Certain physical traits are often cited as being the reason why one is or was attracted to someone. And physical characteristics ...
Views: 2014 - Attraction: What Do People Find Attractive? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThe definition of what it means to be attractive is not always the same for one person as it is for another. There are general things that are recognised as being attractive in women and attractive in a man. Science often comes up with what these qualities are. However, what is found to be ...
Views: 2105 - Attunement: Is Attunement A Key Part Of What Will Allow Someone To Heal From Early Deprivation? - by Submitted on Apr 20, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was brought up by at least one parent who was emotionally unavailable and lacked the ability to attune to their needs and feelings, they can be in a bad way now that they are an adult. The reason for this is that they wouldn’t have been born with a fully developed sense of self; they ...
Views: 232 - Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis cover all aspects of human transformation; including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, enmeshment, inner child, t - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2025 from Oliver JR CooperEven though a man can want to freely express himself and live his own life, he can find that he is unable to do so. Instead, he can have the need to focus on his mother and meet her needs. As a result of this, he will act more like an extension of her than a separate human being who has his ...
Views: 2 - Authority Figures: Do Some Peoples Childhoods Set Them Up To Have Trouble With Authority Figures? - by Submitted on Aug 07, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was to reflect on how they behave when they are in the presence of an authority figure, they may find that they are typically able to hold their own. This will mean that, in general, they won’t retract and neither will they have the need to take up too much space. In other words, ...
Views: 968 - Avatar 2: The Way of Water - ‘I See You’ - by Submitted on Jan 08, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperThe other night, I ended up watching the new avatar film with a few friends, and I must say, that it was spectacular. I watched it in 3D but I think that it would be even better if I had watched it in 4DX. Throughout the film, a number of parts stood out and had a strong emotional impact on ...
Views: 322 - Avoidance Mode: Do Some Peoples Childhoods Set Them Up To Be In Avoidance Mode? - by Submitted on Mar 03, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperIf the time had come for someone to make a big decision, what they may find is that they end up following their heart. In other words, they will go with what they feel called to do as opposed to doing something out of fear. This could typically be how they operate during their day-to-day ...
Views: 750 - Back Pain: Can Trapped Emotions Cause Back Pain? - by Submitted on Dec 21, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThere is the potential for one to experience pain in all areas of their body. These can relate to one having a headache, stomach problems, tension in their shoulders and/or their lower back for instance. With it being highly likely one has experienced at least one of the above this year, let ...
Views: 2230 - Bad Behaviour: Can Toxic Shame Cause Someone To Put Up With Bad Behaviour? - by Submitted on Sep 22, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to bad behaviour, there are some people who put up with it and then there are others who have a very low tolerance for it. This is not to say that this is always black and white; as there are going people who alternate between the two. Ideally, one will be in a position where ...
Views: 1714 - Bad Dreams: Can Trapped Emotions Cause Bad Dreams? - by Submitted on Jul 17, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhile some people will be familiar with their dreams, other people won’t be. When some people wake up it is going to be easy for them to remember what took place in most cases and they could keep their dreams alive by writing about what happened. And for others, they might remember what took ...
Views: 1681 - Be Careful What You Consume! - by Submitted on May 07, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperA lot has been said over the years about how important it is for someone to make sure that they don’t just put anything into their mouth. A common phrase is ‘you are what you eat’. What these messages can do is cause someone to believe that is that the only thing they need to think about is ...
Views: 845 - Behaviour: Do We Teach People How To Treat Us? - by Submitted on Jul 17, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperHow we respond to others and how others respond to us can appear to be random and without reason at times. And at others times, it can be patently obvious as to why we have behaved as we have towards another or why they behaved as they have towards us. But whether one is aware of their ...
Views: 1928 - Being Able To Face Pain Is An Important Part Of Developing Self-Awareness - by Submitted on May 12, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperA little while ago, I was thinking about the role that pain plays when it comes to developing self-awareness and self-knowledge. I thought that if someone experiences pain and ends up reaching out for something to take their pain away, it is going to stop them from looking into why they feel the ...
Views: 1068 - Being And Doing: What Is The Difference? - by Submitted on May 20, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperFor a long time, the western world has been familiar with the word doing and the word being has been something that the people in the east were familiar with. And this has gradually changed in the west, with people becoming more aware of these eastern approaches and vice ...
Views: 1952 - Being Centred: Is It Harder For Someone To Be Centred If They Have The Need To Please Others? - by Submitted on Oct 06, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was to stand on the edge of a building, it would be a lot harder for them to feel at peace than if they were in the middle of it. Being on the edge can cause them to feel uncomfortable, whereas being in the centre may allow them to feel at ease. In the same way, someone can either ...
Views: 935 - Being Enough: Why Do Some People Not Feel Good Enough? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThis is something that can come under many names, from self esteem, to self worth, self belief and confidence. And no matter what words are used, what it ultimately comes down to is the feeling or sense of being enough. Here one feels that who they are is enough, and this relates to who they ...
Views: 4321 - Being Present: Can Childhood Trauma Make It Hard For Someone To Be Present? - by Submitted on Nov 08, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperOne thing that is often spoken about in self-development is the importance of being present. In some cases, this is seen as the answer to every problem and, in others, it is just seen as something that will allow someone to function better. So when someone is present, they won’t be caught up ...
Views: 754 - Being Present: Can The Fear Of Being Seen Stop Someone From Being Able To Be Present? - by Submitted on Aug 08, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperNumerous books have been written about the importance of being present and how to be present. These kinds of books can go into how the body is always in the moment but the mind, on the other hand, is always trying to be somewhere else. When someone is in the present moment, there is nothing ...
Views: 871 - Being Present: Can The Need To Look Good Stop Someone From Being Present? - by Submitted on Nov 07, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperIn today’s world, what is taking place externally is generally given more attention than what is taking place internally. This then means that it can be normal for some people to focus on their appearance and to ignore what is taking place within them. Point of Focus Someone can then ...
Views: 1473 - Being Present: Can Trapped Emotions Stop Someone From Being Present? - by Submitted on Aug 02, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperEver since Eckhart Tolle’s book ‘The Power Of Now’ came out, being present has consumed the self help industry. And even people who were not into self development came across this book. Interpretation And whether it is a teacher speaking about being present or whether they are talking ...
Views: 1771 - Being Present: Can Trapped Grief Stop Someone From Being Present? - by Submitted on Jan 31, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperIf one is into fashion, they will know that the current trend will soon change and end up being replaced by another trend. And while this could be a new trend, it could also be one that was around in the past. So upon reflection, one could say that fashion is like the weather as it is ...
Views: 1874 - Being Seen: Can Being Seen Be Painful If Someone Experienced Childhood Trauma? - by Submitted on Nov 06, 2021 from Oliver JR CooperWhat someone may find, that’s if they were to step back and reflect on their life, is that they have the tendency to hide who they truly are. They may even say to themselves that they often wear a mask around others. What this is going to mean is that even if they are aware of their needs and ...
Views: 359 - Being Seen: Can Child Abuse Cause Someone To Associate Being Seen With Being Humiliated? - by Submitted on Sep 18, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough someone will have the need to be seen, it doesn’t mean that they will feel comfortable being seen. This might be something that they are not consciously aware of or this might not be the case. If this is something that they are not consciously aware of, they could often feel ignored ...
Views: 262 - Being Seen: Can Child Abuse Stop Someone From Feeling Safe Enough To Be Seen? - by Submitted on Jan 30, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperEven though someone’s physical self will be seen by others, it doesn’t mean that the rest of them will typically be seen by others. What this means is that their inner world, so what their thoughts are about certain things and how they feel, for instance, might seldom be revealed to ...
Views: 279 - Being Seen: Can Childhood Trauma Cause Someone To Have A Fear Of Being Seen? - by Submitted on Aug 02, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was to take a step back and to reflect on how they behave around others, they could find that they have the tendency to lose themselves and to be who other people want them to be. It could be as though a button has been pressed, causing their behaviour to completely change. As a ...
Views: 618 - Being Seen: Can Childhood Trauma Set Someone Up To Believe That They Need To Hide Themselves? - by Submitted on Jul 17, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperFor some people, it will be hard for them to accept that someone would be able to hide themselves when they are around others. In their eyes, this will be seen as something that could only take place if they were away from others. Here, someone would be away from others and this would prevent ...
Views: 585 - Being Seen: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Believe That They Have To Hide In Order To Survive? - by Submitted on May 12, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIn general, one could feel as though they don’t exist, and this is not going to be because they won’t have a pulse. No, it will be due to the fact that they will rarely feel seen and heard and what they do in life might not have much of an impact. So, when they are around others, they could ...
Views: 326 - Being Seen: Can Developmental Trauma Give Someone A Strong Need To Be Seen? - by Submitted on Aug 10, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperHaving the need to be seen is a normal part of life; this is part of being an independent human being. Nonetheless, someone can have such a strong need to be seen that it consumes them. As a result of this, if they are not doing what they can to receive attention, they can be thinking of ...
Views: 444 - Being Seen: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Believe That They Don’t Deserve To Be Seen? - by Submitted on Feb 12, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperAs someone is an interdependent human being, it will be important for them to have relationships where they are seen and heard. When this takes place, not only will their physical self be seen but their inner world will also be seen. This will take place by them opening up about how they ...
Views: 277 - Being Seen: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Continually End Up In Situations Where They Are Not Seen? - by Submitted on Dec 22, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperJust because someone has the need to be seen, it doesn’t mean that they will generally be able to fulfil this need. They could often feel invisible and as though they don’t even exist. But, if this is just what is normal, it is unlikely to be something that will stand out. This is then just ...
Views: 330 - Being Seen: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Engage In An Unconscious Struggle To Be Seen? - by Submitted on Jan 01, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperBeing seen is important but it doesn’t mean that everyone on this planet generally feels seen. When someone does feel seen, it will be a time when another person not only looks at them but also tunes into what is going on for them and displays empathy. Therefore, they are not going to see ...
Views: 346 - Being Seen: Can Someone Have A Fear Of Being Seen If They Had A Critical Parent? - by Submitted on Oct 16, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperWhat someone may find if they were to take a step back and reflect on their life, is that they often feel ignored and even invisible. This can be how they feel when they are with family friends and at work. Instead of being a human being that can be seen and heard, then, it will often be as ...
Views: 205 - Being Seen: Can Someone Have A Fear Of Being Seen If They Were Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Jun 29, 2024 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone were to take a step back and reflect on how they typically feel, what they could soon notice is that they often feel invisible, ignored and lonely. They can show that when they are around others, they seldom feel seen and heard. It is then to be expected that they would often feel ...
Views: 182 - Being Seen: Can Someone Have The Need To Hide How They Feel If They Had A Critical Parent? - by Submitted on May 19, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough someone’s feelings are an important part of them, it doesn’t mean that they will typically express how they feel. Not only this, but they might rarely if ever be aware of how they feel. If this is the case, it will show that they don’t have a strong connection with their feelings and ...
Views: 309 - Being Seen: Can The Fear Of Being Harmed Stop Someone From Wanting To Be Seen? - by Submitted on Dec 22, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperIt could be said that whenever one spends time around others, they are going to be seen. Therefore, the only way for one to not be seen by others will be for them to spend time by themselves. Black and White This is then something that is not hard to understand; in fact, it is perfectly ...
Views: 1350 - Being Seen: Can The Fear Of Being Seen Cause Someone To Hide Behind Others? - by Submitted on Jul 25, 2016 from Oliver JR CooperIf one was to think about how someone would behave if they don’t feel comfortable being seen, they might start to imagine someone who spends a lot of time by themselves. And this is because it will be a way for them to avoid attention. It could then be said that they will have a good ...
Views: 1493 - Being Seen: Can The Fear Of Being Seen Stop Someone From Reaching Out For Support? - by Submitted on Aug 12, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperIt has been said that a big part of success is simply turning up, and this shows how important it is to take the first step. If the first step is not taken, it won’t be possible for someone to get the ball rolling, so to speak. What typically stops someone from taking the first step is fear, ...
Views: 894 - Being Seen: Can Toxic Shame Cause Someone To Fear Being Seen? - by Submitted on Jan 25, 2016 from Oliver JR CooperOne of the greatest needs that human beings have is to be seen for who they are and although this is the case, it doesn’t mean that this is something that everyone feels comfortable with. If one is in a position where they didn’t feel comfortable with being seen, it is going to cause them to ...
Views: 1905 - Being Seen: Can Toxic Shame Cause Someone To Hide? - by Submitted on Apr 02, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperThere are a number of things that human beings need, and one thing they need is to be seen for who they are. And in order for this to take place, it will be necessary for them to feel comfortable in their own skin. If they don’t feel comfortable with who they are, it will be a challenge for ...
Views: 1444 - Being Seen: Do Some People's Childhoods Set Them Up To Fear Being Seen? - by Submitted on Apr 06, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperThere are many things that human beings need in order to feel fulfilled and one of those needs is the need to be seen. This doesn’t mean that they have an inherent need to be ‘famous’ though; it simply means that they need to be noticed by others. And while one could be noticed by others due ...
Views: 1750 - Being Seen: Do Some People's Childhoods Set Them Up To Live In Other People's Shadow? - by Submitted on Oct 06, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough human beings have their own needs and feelings and, therefore, have their own life to lead, it doesn’t mean that everyone on this planet will have their own life. Instead, some people will have the tendency to fade into the background. When someone experiences life in this way, they ...
Views: 875 - Being Seen: Do Some Peoples Childhoods Set Them Up To Believe That They Have To Hide In Order To Survive? - by Submitted on Oct 28, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperOne thing that can cause someone to get into self-development is if their life is not very fulfilling. What this can mean is that they haven’t been able to make much progress in life or perhaps they have made progress, but they have only been able to get so far. Either way, they will be ...
Views: 967 - Being Teachable: Are You Teachable? - by Submitted on Oct 19, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone doesn’t know how to do something, there are at least two things that they can do. Either they can reach out for the guidance that they need to move forward, or they can just accept what is going on and not do anything about it. This could relate to something that is fairly ...
Views: 851 - Being Triggered Can Allow You To Become More Integrated - by Submitted on Oct 15, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperNowadays, the word ‘triggered’ is routinely used in the real world and online. When someone has been triggered, it is likely to mean that something or someone has reminded them of something that took place in their past. It doesn’t stop there, though, as they will have been reminded of ...
Views: 660 - Being: Can Childhood Trauma Make It Hard For Someone To Just Be? - by Submitted on Mar 28, 2021 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was a take a step back and to reflect on their own behaviour, what they could find is that spend a lot of time do-ing and very little time be-ing. Said another way, they can practically always be on the go. They are then going to be a human being but it would be more accurate to ...
Views: 490 - Being: Do Some Peoples Childhoods Stop Them From Being Able To Just Be? - by Submitted on Dec 18, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperEven though someone will be a human being, it doesn’t mean that they will be able to just be. As a result of this, they will be a human being in name only; they won’t actually be able to act like one. Ergo, instead of being able to do nothing and to feel comfortable doing nothing, they will ...
Views: 854 - Belief: Does A Man Need To Be Discerning When It Comes To What He Believes About Women? - by Submitted on Sep 15, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperNowadays, there are numerous books that go into what women are like and the truth about female nature. If, then, a man wants to understand women, he won’t find that there is a shortage of information on this topic. Yet, if he has this need, he doesn’t need to read a book, as he will be able ...
Views: 238 - Belief: Why Do Some People Find It Hard To Believe In Themselves? - by Submitted on Sep 22, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to being successful and achieving what one wants to achieve, it is important that one believes in themselves. Without this belief, one is going to find it difficult to achieve anything. So not only will it be impossible for one to thrive, it could also be a real challenge for them ...
Views: 1745 - Beliefs: Do Our Feelings Create Our Beliefs? - by Submitted on Nov 02, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone is behaving in a certain way or not attracting what they want into their life, it is often said to be a result of what their beliefs are. And so one then needs to change what they believe, in order to act differently and to attract what they want into their reality. A large part ...
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