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Articles from Oliver JR Cooper | Selfgrowth.com
- Happiness: Are Some People Happy Being Unhappy? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperI have recently reflected on my own tendency to have felt happy only when I felt unhappy. And I sensed that, even when everything was going fine and I could see that I was achieving my goals, there was often a sense of unhappiness within me. By observing my own emotional and cognitive ...
Views: 2460(1 vote) - Freedom Or Safety: What Would You Choose? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperAfter recent experiences and awareness’s in my life and also from what is happening it the public domain, I felt it was right to talk about my views and understandings of these two incredibly important areas of life. The Dichotomy On one side we have a great need to feel safe and on the ...
Views: 2452 - Irrational Feelings: Do You Have Irrational Feelings? - by Submitted on Dec 07, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperJust because one feels a certain way, it doesn’t mean these feelings reflect what is currently taking place in their life. One can then come to the conclusion that their feelings are irrational. This could be something that one experience from time to time or it might be a regular ...
Views: 2452 - Attachment: What Causes Attachment Problems? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThe term attachment is often used in the area of relationships and to describe what kind of relationship one had with their primary caregiver as a child. This first attachment plays a massive role in our development as a child and in how we are as adults. A General View So here I will give ...
Views: 2451 - Assertive: Can The Fear Of Being Abandoned Stop Someone From Being Assertive? - by Submitted on Oct 23, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperFor some people, knowing when to speak up or to keep quiet is something that comes naturally. And while they might not get this right all the time, it is not going to be something that they need to focus on. At certain times, they might speak up when they should have kept quiet or kept quit ...
Views: 2448 - People Pleasing: Does Low Self-Esteem Cause People To Please Others? - by Submitted on Dec 03, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperOn one hand, one can pay attention to their own needs and do what they can to fulfilling them, and on the other hand, they can focus on others people’s needs and do what they can to fulfil them. If their life is a reflection of the former, it is likely to be far more fulfilling than if their ...
Views: 2446 - Relationships: What Is A Relationship Triangle? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to a relationship there are typically two people involved. And what goes on in this relationship is primarily between these two individuals. This could be between: lovers, friends, colleagues or family. And this relationship it is almost certain to lead to moments or stories ...
Views: 2446 - Relationships: The Healing Power Of Relationships - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhether it is relationships with friends, acquaintances or spousal for example; they all have the potential for healing and consequently growth to occur. Opportunities are presented for one to integrate and process those parts that lay dormant; that are waiting to be realised. We are also ...
Views: 2434(1 vote) - Relationships: Do Some Men’s Childhood's Set Them Up To Develop A Saviour Complex? - by Submitted on Feb 15, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperWhile there are some men who offer their assistance when it is needed, there are others who have a different approach. Here, it is not going to be enough for a man to offer their hand from time to time, they will need to take things further. An Identity A man can believe that it is not ...
Views: 2427 - Self Realisation: Why Do Some People Always Look Outside For Answers? - by Submitted on Jul 14, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWe live in a time that is often described as the information age. And this is largely due to the internet and how this has made information so easy to access. What was only available to a certain class of people or what could only be known trough travelling to certain parts of the world for ...
Views: 2424 - Astrology: Why Do Some People Judge Others Based On Their Star Sign? - by Submitted on Apr 21, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperThere are lots of ways for people to define themselves and to give their life meaning. And one of the ways that this can be done is for someone to get into astrology. In the western world, this will often involve someone finding out about their star sign and then seeing how they match up with ...
Views: 2423 - Offended: Is Being Offended A Choice? - by Submitted on May 07, 2016 from Oliver JR CooperIf one was to think about the kinds of experiences that they have had so far this year, they may find that there have been a number of moments that have had a negative effect on their life. This could relate to what has taken place in the real world, as well as what has occurred online. And ...
Views: 2419 - Emotional Intelligence: The Importance Of Processing Our Emotions - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperI have recently had an interesting experience. And upon close reflection, I believe this experience has explained how important it is to process our emotions and to limit their accumulation. I believe it also explains at a deeper level, what is meant by; we are not just the observers of our ...
Views: 2404 - Relationships: What Causes Enmeshed Relationships? - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhile human beings are physically separate, it doesn’t mean that they are emotionally or intellectually separate. And as connecting to another human being involves opening up and allowing another person to open up, there are going to be moments where one merges with another. This is not only ...
Views: 2395 - Depression: Can Repressed Anger Cause Depression? - by Submitted on Jan 25, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperOne of the most common mental and emotional challenges that someone can face in today’s world is depression. This is likely to be something that most people experience at one point or another. There are then going to be others who don’t experience it from time to time, they experience it on ...
Views: 2391 - Emotionally Dependent: Why Are Some People Emotionally Dependent? - by Submitted on Dec 19, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperAs human beings, we are interdependent and although someone people can come to the conclusion that they are independent, this is just an illusion. They may well be able to support themselves financially, but they are still reliant on other people paying them money. This is clearly different ...
Views: 2389 - Stubborn: Is It Good Or Bad To Be Stubborn? - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperIf one was to think about a quality that is generally seen in a negative light, the word ‘stubborn may come to mind. This could be a word that one uses on a regular basis and/or it could be something they are used to hearing from other people. There is also the chance that this is not only a ...
Views: 2387 - Emotional Needs: Can Another Person Fulfil Our Emotional Needs? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhen one looks for a relationship, there are emotional needs that one is looking for another person to fulfil within them. These needs can be conscious and known, and they can be unconscious and unknown. And some of these needs will be possible for another person to fulfil and meet and some ...
Views: 2384 - Feelings: Why Do Some People Believe That Their Feelings Are Not Important? - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperPart of being human means that one has feelings and these are an important part of who they are. And when one is in tune with how they feel, their life is going to be radically different to how it would be if they were unaware of how they felt. Ones feelings not only connect them to ...
Views: 2382 - Relationships: Why Are Some Women Needy? - by Submitted on Dec 31, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperTo have needs is part of being human and this means that it is not something to be ashamed of. Yet, just because this is the case, it doesn’t mean that one feels comfortable with their needs, and this can cause them to come across as being needless. They then act as if they don’t have needs ...
Views: 2379 - Emotionally stuck: Does Society Keep People Emotionally Stuck? - by Submitted on Sep 13, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperFor many years now it has been said that women grow up faster than men. And in some cases, they say that men are about ten years behind when it comes to emotional development. This is obviously not the case for all men, but there is often clear evidence to support this viewpoint. Now there ...
Views: 2371 - Self Abuse: What Is Self Abuse? - by Submitted on May 01, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperAbuse is usually something that starts of as external in nature. This means that one is abused through the people around them and this could be limited to one environment or it could happen in a number of environments. The type of abuse that I am talking about here is the abuse that goes in ...
Views: 2368 - Control Freaks: Why Are Some People Control Freaks? - by Submitted on Apr 05, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to describing someone who has the need to have complete control over every part of their life, the term control freak is often used. To experience a certain amount of control is not enough, the only thing that will do is having complete control of everything. And while control ...
Views: 2367 - Self-Esteem: Can Toxic Shame Cause Low Self-Esteem? - by Submitted on Nov 20, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen one comes across something that grows into the ground and has a big trunk, there is only going to be one word to describe what it is – and that is a tree. And the same can be said when it comes to describing other things on this planet. However, when it comes to how one sees themselves, ...
Views: 2365 - Defence Mechanism: Projection - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperMost of us have heard of the term projection, but what is our subjective meaning when we think about it?. It could be argued that our whole experience of reality is a projection and that all of the Ego defence mechanisms are a projection, but for now I will remain in this context. I believe the ...
Views: 2363 - Child Abuse: Why Are Some People Not Believed When They Talk About Being Abused? - by Submitted on Aug 10, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen someone has been abused as a child they have already gone through enough, without having to prolong the pain of what happened. However, there are certain things that can add to this pain and one of these things is when one finds that the people around them don’t believe them or it could ...
Views: 2362 - Boundaries: Why Do Some People Feel Boundaryless? - by Submitted on Oct 21, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperIf it was raining and one didn’t wear jacket or something to keep them dry, they would soon be soaked. Their jacket or an umbrella for instance, is then something that protects them from the rain. However, even if it was not raining one still needs to protect themselves. Their personal space ...
Views: 2357 - Looking Good: Why Are Some People Obsessed With Looking Good? - by Submitted on Jun 28, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperOne doesn’t have to look very far to see how obsessed people have become with looking good in the western world. And this is not limited to one gender; both men and women are involved in this. For a woman it could relate to: the kinds of clothes they wear, make-up, body shape, hair style, ...
Views: 2356 - Help: Why Do Some People Have Trouble Asking For Help? - by Submitted on Sep 04, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperIt is often said that no one is their own island and each one of us in interdependent. This not only applies to people; it also includes the earth that one lives on, the air they breathe and the sun that creates light and gives off energy for instance. There is always going to be people who ...
Views: 2355(1 vote) - Power: How Do We Give Our Power Away? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperFor each one of us power can mean something different. It can have both positive and negative connotations. On the positive side, there is the power to have an effect on one’s life and on the negative side it can mean being controlled. The meaning of power here is; the ability to have an ...
Views: 2350 - Depression: Can Living In An Oppressive Environment Cause Someone To Be Depressed? - by Submitted on Apr 03, 2016 from Oliver JR CooperWhile there are some people who have lived in the same environment for their whole life, there are others who have moved around. When one has moved around, they might not have stayed in the same place for very long. This could be a sign that one has a job that requires them to move around, ...
Views: 2348 - Emotional Regulation: What Happens When Someone Can't Regulate Their Emotions? - by Submitted on Jan 15, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperIn today’s world there are all kinds of challenges that people are having to face. And some of these are relatively easy to handle, while others can seem to be more or less impossible to solve. These can range from global, societal and personal problems. In a way, they can all affect each ...
Views: 2348 - Relationships: Why Do Some People Play Games In Relationships? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhile it is often the intention to have a relationship that is free from games and all the drama that they can create; this does not always mean that one will avoid them altogether. And as a result of this, one may come to the conclusion that they have absolutely no control as to whether their ...
Views: 2348 - Greatness: Do Only Some People Have Greatness? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThere are both general and specific ideas and opinions around what greatness is. And what will form these ideas and opinions will be influenced by the age that one lives in, the society they are raised in and what one values themselves. This can range from the current societal models, such ...
Views: 2347 - Deserving: Why Don't We Get What We Deserve? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThis is an area that can not only create frustration, anger and confusion; it can also make one feel powerless and a victim of circumstance. So here I am going to explain my current understanding, as to why we don’t always get what we think we deserve and can end up with something completely ...
Views: 2342 - Self-Worth: Do Some People Lack A Healthy Sense Of Entitlement? - by Submitted on Jun 08, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperWhen someone has an entitlement mentality, it can cause them to behave in ways that will have a negative effect on others. Through being this way, one of their main priorities will be fulfil their own needs. One-Sided These are likely to be needs that are seen are being more important ...
Views: 2334 - Relationships: Why Do Some Women Always Feel Trapped In A Relationship? - by Submitted on Dec 31, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperIt is often said that women prefer to be in relationships more than men do. And while this can sound like the truth, it is not always the case. There are going to be men who appreciate being in one, just as there are going to be men who don’t. Some women will enjoy being in them and then ...
Views: 2333 - Boundaries: Why Do Some People Find It Hard To Say No? - by Submitted on May 18, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperIf it often sad that if one can’t say no, then their yes doesn’t mean anything. And while having the ability to say yes is clearly important, so is being able to say no. They both have their uses and this will often depend on the context that one is in. To say yes can become a habit and ...
Views: 2329 - Creativity: Is Creativity A Mental Illness? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperI recently came across a link that was called - 'creativity 'closely entwined with mental illness'. This was from the bbc website about a recent study that has connected creativity with mental health problems. The link can be found on the bbc website. And after reading all that was said, I ...
Views: 2322(1 vote) - Interviews With Successful People - Jack Magee - Lightweight Shock N Awe British Champion - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperLast year I heard about a Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fighter known as Jack Magee that lived in the area and was intrigued to hear more about this man and his sport. Starting the column Interviews with successful people provided the perfect outlet for me to be able to make contact with Mr Magee and ...
Views: 2318 - Relationships: Why Do Some People Feel Unattractive When A Relationship Ends? - by Submitted on Jul 04, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThe desire to feel attractive is normal and something that the majority of people want to experience. Here, one can then feel a sense of healthy control when it comes to attracting the kind of man or woman that they desire. And this is also likely to lead to one feeling accepted and approved of ...
Views: 2317(2 votes) - Self Worth: What Is Self Worth? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThere are many different terms that one can use to describe having value and worth. These can be self esteem, self confidence and self belief for example. And self worth is a phrase that I believe encompasses all of these aspects. Self worth is something that is inherent and based on what is ...
Views: 2315 - Defence Mechanism: Justification - by Submitted on Oct 01, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperNo matter what defence mechanism is being utilised, they all have the same purpose. And that is to stop one from being overwhelmed by what they are experiencing. They are used when the pain that is arising is too much for someone to handle. And as pain is part of life and therefore can’t be ...
Views: 2314 - Motivation: Can Trapped Grief Cause A lack Of Motivation? - by Submitted on Jan 19, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperWhile there are some people who are always doing things, there are others who rarely do anything. Just as there are going to be people who are fairly active, but not the degree that they fall on either side of the spectrum. However, even though there will be people who can relate to this, it ...
Views: 2312 - Relationships: Do Some Men’s Childhood's Set Them Up To Put Women On A Pedestal? - by Submitted on Nov 02, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperIt could be said that in order for one person to have a relationship with another person, they will need to be able to relate to them as another human being. If they see them as being above or below them, it is going to make it harder for them to truly connect to them. When it comes to the ...
Views: 2310 - Relationships: Why Do Some People Cheat? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to describing why some people cheat, it is certainly not a black and white answer. So based on my current level of awareness and intelligence; I will do my best to give some answers to this question. Three Experiences I believe that in order to understand or at least try to ...
Views: 2309 - Social Media: Can Social Media Create Apathy? - by Submitted on Mar 04, 2016 from Oliver JR CooperWhen one uses social media, they can have one thing in mind or a number of things. For example, one might use it to send someone a message, or they could use it to share an update. In this case, they are going to have one thing in mind and then they could come off it. However, even though ...
Views: 2309 - Intimacy: What Does Intimacy Mean To You? - by Submitted on Apr 17, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhile there can be general meanings to words, there can also be personal meanings to words and intimacy is no different in this respect. Intimacy is generally described as what occurs when one person is close to another. And although one can be close to friend's, family or colleagues for ...
Views: 2308(2 votes) - Invalidation: The Abused Childs Greatest Pain - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperTo be validated as a child is highly important in creating a functional and psychologically healthy adult. When this validation is not received and a child is invalidated, it can lead to all kinds of problems If a child is abused in some way, one of the most important things, if not the most ...
Views: 2288 - Irritation: Why Do Some People Irritate Us? - by Submitted on Mar 06, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperDue to the amount of people on this planet, it is clear that one is not going to get along with everyone. There will be some people that one completely clicks with and therefore experiences very few instances of conflict and disharmony. And there will be others, on the other side of the ...
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