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Articles from Allan Hardman | Selfgrowth.com
- Five Ways to Avoid Intimacy - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2009 from Allan HardmanWhen an apprentice called me to tell me his wife was thinking about leaving him, he was mystified about what more she could want from him. He worked hard, supported her so she could be a stay-at-home Mom, he mowed the lawn, and kept the oil changed in the car. He was always busy with tasks and ...
Views: 4336(1 vote) - The New Relationship ~ Five Agreements to Make Love Come True - by Submitted on Feb 01, 2011 from Allan HardmanMany people in our current world are awakening to realize that the old reasons for marriage and relationship no longer serve them. All relationships are based on agreements. In the past, these agreements have been mostly unconscious and unspoken. I offer these five agreements as a step towards a ...
Views: 2125(1 vote) - A Roadmap to Intimacy - by Submitted on Sep 28, 2010 from Allan HardmanIt is not easy to be intimate in conscious relationship. In fact, everything we learned as children goes against our adult desire for intimacy and relationship. Frankly, our beloved parents taught us a bunch of lies. It wasn’t their fault, the lies were taught to them, and taught by generations ...
Views: 1672 - Emotional Intimacy with Ourselves - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2009 from Allan HardmanOne of my apprentices often called me, upset because there were no “good men” out there. She had been in so many relationships, she said, waiting for a man that would be present and show his feelings. She told me that she was often fooled, thinking a particular man wanted to share with her in a ...
Views: 1545(1 vote) - Being an Adult - by Submitted on Jan 13, 2011 from Allan HardmanI’ve been kicking around the idea of “being an adult” with my apprentices in TACO, my online apprenticeship program. What does it actually mean to be an adult—to really be “grown up,” and no longer simply pretending to be? In these columns exploring Conscious Relationship, I have written ...
Views: 1444(1 vote) - Speaking an Emotional Language - by Submitted on Sep 27, 2010 from Allan HardmanA new client called to tell me that she and her husband had a big fight because he wouldn’t listen to her share her feelings. He said he was tired of being made wrong; and all she wanted to do was tell him how she felt. She asked me, in a very discouraged tone; “How can I get him to just listen ...
Views: 1443(4 votes) - The Impotent Hero - by Submitted on Jan 13, 2011 from Allan HardmanRomantic relationship has been both a blessing and nightmare for many people in this new millennium. In the past, the rules of relationship were relatively structured and well enforced by families and cultures. Many relationships were based on the need for security and financial well-being in an ...
Views: 1386 - A Roadmap to Conscious Relationship - by Submitted on Sep 28, 2010 from Allan HardmanAll conscious relationship begins with ourselves. To share the truth of how we feel, without attachment to the outcome of a relationship, is one of my many definitions of conscious relationship-- but we must be connected to our feelings in a very intimate way to be able to share them. It all ...
Views: 1299 - Love is in the Air - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2009 from Allan HardmanI am writing this from my winter home in Chacala, Nayarít, Mexico. The moon is full, hanging softly overhead in a warm tropical night sky. I can hear the ocean waves caressing the sandy beach, and mariachi music is playing in the distance. What could be more romantic?? In fact, this scenario is ...
Views: 1236(1 vote) - Happiness - by Submitted on Sep 28, 2010 from Allan HardmanNutshell: Our default setting is “Happy.” We came into this world Happy. We were not afraid, we did not judge ourselves or other people— or anything in the universe. We were One With It All. Enlightened. Gurus. But instead of people worshipping at our feet and begging us to teach them how to be ...
Views: 1224(1 vote) - Living Softly in Hard Times - by Submitted on Sep 28, 2010 from Allan HardmanI read somewhere that relationships are increasingly stressed during these “hard times” we are passing through. I am not surprised. With all the bad news in the media, and the fear it creates, most individuals are stressed. And maybe you have noticed, it is individuals who make up most ...
Views: 1185 - The Challenge of Intimacy - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2009 from Allan HardmanProbably the biggest challenge to those of us wanting to live conscious spiritual lives in these rapidly transforming times is the changing form and expectations of romantic courtship, relationship, and marriage. The traditional models are rapidly disappearing, and the foundation for new forms ...
Views: 1172 - The Lie of Love - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2009 from Allan HardmanCould it be possible that we were lied to about love? I think so. I think we have been taught a big lie about Love. To understand the origin of the lie, we need to go back to a time, not too long ago, in a place, not so very far away. That is the time you were a small child. In that time not ...
Views: 1153 - A Prayer for Today - by Submitted on Sep 28, 2010 from Allan HardmanDivine Presence, be with me today, reminding me of your love for me. . . your love without conditions, your love without expectations, your love without obligations. Help me to learn to love myself the way You love me. Help me to love and accept myself, without reservations and without ...
Views: 1150 - Relationships Created from Needs - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2009 from Allan HardmanI have been playing with the idea that we create all of our relationships based on the needs they fill. It is not a very romantic notion, but I invite you to read, ponder with me, and let me know what you think. I am thinking of all relationships—romances, friendships, family, strangers, with ...
Views: 1016 - Real Tips for Saving Your Marriage - by Submitted on Jan 31, 2013 from Allan HardmanI have been counseling couples for many years. It’s a passion of mine, watching the magic that happens when intimacy is restored to a marriage. When you embrace a commitment with someone, especially a commitment that you expect to last a lifetime, there is a good possibility you will both bring ...
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