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Articles from Kathy Slattengren | Selfgrowth.com
- Helping Kids Control Negative Thoughts - by Submitted on Feb 13, 2011 from Kathy SlattengrenWho will criticize your children the most as they grow up? They will! It is their own negative self-talk that they will hear most often.Everyone’s mind produces a steady stream of thoughts. When these thoughts turn negative, fear, doubt and frustration quickly sets in. Stopping negative thoughts ...
Views: 1460 - Great Parenting Stands the Test of Time - by Submitted on Nov 18, 2010 from Kathy SlattengrenSome parenting ideas come and go like fads. Others stick around for decades. The ideas that last are those that work well in the long run to help parents with the challenging job of raising children. The common foundation for many current parenting ideas is Alfred Adler's (1870-1937) philosophy ...
Views: 1244(3 votes) - Children Dangerously Breaking Rules - by Submitted on Nov 18, 2010 from Kathy SlattengrenWe establish rules to help keep our kids safe. We'd all like to believe our children would make the right choice when presented with a situation like whether or not to answer the door to a stranger. But what would they really do? What would your kids do? Recently NBC's Dateline tested a few kids ...
Views: 1258(3 votes) - 3 Keys to Developing Children's Empathy - by Submitted on Sep 30, 2010 from Kathy SlattengrenChildren are not born with empathy. They are born with the capacity to have empathy but it only develops under certain conditions. Parents play a critical role in developing their children's empathy. In their book, Born for Love: Why Empathy is Essential - and Endangered, Perry and Szalavitz ...
Views: 1832(3 votes) - Back to School, Back to Bullying? - by Submitted on Sep 01, 2010 from Kathy SlattengrenWe certainly hope that back to school does not mean back to bullying! Unfortunately being bullied at school is the reality for too many children. According to the National Crime Prevention Council, "Bullying has become a tidal wave of epic proportions." Everyone's Role In her book The ...
Views: 1430(5 votes) - Four Things That Matter Most in Parenting - by Submitted on Aug 11, 2010 from Kathy SlattengrenWhat four things matter the most in parenting? Could they be the same as the four things that matter most in life? It is likely they could be the same since our relationships with our children are some of the most significant ones we have in our lives. The Four Things That Matter Most In ...
Views: 3240(6 votes) - Limiting Screen Time for Your Kids - by Submitted on Jun 11, 2010 from Kathy SlattengrenDo you feel your kids are spending too much time watching TV, playing video games and being on the computer? Do ever find it challenging to get them to turn off the TV or computer and go outside to play? If so, join the crowd! How much time are kids really spending with media? The ...
Views: 1502(4 votes) - Kids Swearing - by Submitted on May 28, 2010 from Kathy SlattengrenWhen children swear, it certainly catches our attention! How should we respond when this happens? There are a number of ways to handle it depending on the situation. Trying Out Swearing Young children often try swearing at some point. One day our daughter was coming home from preschool ...
Views: 1338 - Helping Our Children Shine - by Submitted on May 07, 2010 from Kathy SlattengrenDid you ever gaze into your children’s eyes when they were babies wondering what they would be like when they grew up? Did you notice some of your children’s strong personality traits even when they were very young? One of our challenges is to see and appreciate our children’s unique ...
Views: 1266 - The Challenges of Motivating Children - by Submitted on Apr 02, 2010 from Kathy SlattengrenHow can we motivate our children to work harder in school, in a sport or in practicing an instrument? Will the promise of a reward for practicing the piano help our child practice more? Or will the threat of punishment be more effective? When we try to motivate our children to work harder, we ...
Views: 1267(4 votes) - Children Searching for Sex and Porn - Yikes! - by Submitted on Mar 11, 2010 from Kathy SlattengrenNorton Family Online recently released the most searched for terms by children in 2009. Across all three age groups (7 and under, 8 - 12, 13 - 18) sex or porn was in the #4 spot for most search for terms. Yikes! This data was gathered from the 14.5 million searches done by people using their ...
Views: 2268 - Critical Comments Flow Freely from Parents - by Submitted on Jan 21, 2010 from Kathy SlattengrenDo you make more positive comments or negative comments to your children? If you're like most parents, you make a lot more negative comments than positive ones. In her book, Building Moral Intelligence, Dr. Michele Borba writes "studies reveal that the average parent makes 18 critical comments ...
Views: 1195 - Family Gatherings: Fun for Everyone? - by Submitted on Dec 18, 2009 from Kathy SlattengrenWhen families gather together for a celebration, each participant brings their own history, behavior and expectations. When these different expectations and behaviors clash, the celebrations are often far from the peaceful, loving gatherings depicted in TV holiday commercials! However, when ...
Views: 1366(1 vote) - What's the Tone of Your Home? - by Submitted on Dec 04, 2009 from Kathy SlattengrenParents play a lead role in setting the overall tone in their families. Parents whose overall tone tends to be negative often have homes filled with stress and tension. While parents who take a more positive approach create calmer, happier homes. A Home Filled with Tension One mom told me ...
Views: 1186(1 vote) - Beware of Boomerang Words - by Submitted on Oct 21, 2009 from Kathy SlattengrenDo your children's words ever take you by surprise because they sound remarkably like something you've said? These "boomerang words" can be a good thing or not such a good thing. When we hear our children repeat our words, it's a strong reminder of just how much they are picking up from us. ...
Views: 1280 - Yelling at Kids in Anger - by Submitted on Sep 24, 2009 from Kathy SlattengrenHave you ever become frustrated with your children when they are begging you for something? If so, you can probably relate to this mom's story. Begging for Ice Cream One mom told me how exasperated she was while driving her 10-year-old son to Baskin Robbins to order cake for his upcoming ...
Views: 1725 - Getting Off To School – Making It Calm Instead Of Chaotic - by Submitted on Aug 19, 2009 from Kathy SlattengrenDo you ever find yourself rushing around in the morning desperately trying to get your kids off to school? Feeling rushed and hassled first thing in the morning is not a good way to start a day! Unfortunately many parents and children report this is exactly how they feel in the mornings. How ...
Views: 1359(2 votes) - What's Wrong with Just Wanting Our Kids to Be Happy? - by Submitted on Aug 03, 2009 from Kathy Slattengren"I really do just want my kids to be happy! What can possibly be wrong with that?" The potential problem is that it appears there is a connection between parents focusing on making their kids happy with those children actually being increasingly unhappy. What does the research ...
Views: 1151(1 vote) - How Much Media Is Too Much? - by Submitted on Jun 18, 2009 from Kathy SlattengrenWhen parents discuss how much media they allow their children, the answers vary wildly. Some parents have very strict time restrictions on their children's media viewing while others give their children more control over the time they spend on media. How do you know when your child is ...
Views: 1347(1 vote) - What New Life Skills Will Your Kids Learn This Summer? - by Submitted on May 15, 2009 from Kathy SlattengrenWe have until our children are about 18 years old to teach them all the basic skills they'll need to live on their own. Although it sounds like a lot of time, it goes by amazingly fast. Summertime can provide a little more free time for teaching our kids something new. Children often enjoy ...
Views: 1339(1 vote) - What Does Death Teach Our Children? - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2009 from Kathy SlattengrenDeath is one of those lessons we hope our children will not have to experience early in life. However, given death is an inescapable fact of life, we know our children will eventually need to deal with it. When and how we discuss death with our children will depend on their ages and the ...
Views: 989(1 vote) - Avoiding Hearing "You're Not Listening!" - by Submitted on Mar 25, 2009 from Kathy SlattengrenListening is one of those skills that really doesn't seem like it's all that difficult. Why then do so many children report that their parents don't listen to them? Maybe it's because there are a lot of ways for parents to unintentionally stop conversations with their kids. For example, if ...
Views: 1057 - "Stop Crying!" and Other Commands That Don't Work - by Submitted on Feb 16, 2009 from Kathy SlattengrenMoments of frustration can lead parents to issuing commands that really don't work. Any time we are ordering children to change their behavior we're not likely to succeed. Instead of producing the desired behavioral change, commands often lead to some type of resistance. For example, when ...
Views: 1037 - Postponing the Most Important Things - by Submitted on Jan 15, 2009 from Kathy SlattengrenAs parents our days can easily be filled to overflowing with all the tasks that are required to keep our families running: making meals, doing dishes, driving kids to activities, washing clothes and working. These are certainly not the most important things in our lives but they can quickly ...
Views: 926 - What’s Better A Threat Or A Promise? - by Submitted on Sep 22, 2008 from Kathy SlattengrenOne mom was exasperated with her preschool daughter after she pitched fit for 45 minutes upon learning that her little brother was going swimming while she was at preschool. When mom was completely fed up with the whining and crying, she threatened to let her daughter sit in her room all day ...
Views: 842 - Getting Dressed All By Myself, All In Due Time! - by Submitted on Sep 22, 2008 from Kathy SlattengrenYoung children take pride in doing things for themselves like getting dressed. However, sometimes their sense of urgency in completing a task doesn’t always match their parents’ sense of urgency. Parents quickly learn that encouraging their children to “hurry up” doesn’t work well. One mom ...
Views: 988 - Getting Dressed All by Myself, All in Due Time! - by Submitted on Sep 08, 2008 from Kathy SlattengrenYoung children take pride in doing things for themselves like getting dressed. However, sometimes their sense of urgency in completing a task doesn’t always match their parents’ sense of urgency. Parents quickly learn that encouraging their children to “hurry up” ...
Views: 901 - Teens Trying To Become Pregnant - by Submitted on Jun 21, 2008 from Kathy SlattengrenI was saddened to read that Gloucester High School in Massachusetts had a record number of 17 pregnant teens this year. Apparently this happened after a number of them, all 16 and younger, made a pact to get pregnant. According to the article some girls expressed that they felt their parents ...
Views: 1064 - Avoiding power struggles with your children - by Submitted on Jun 13, 2008 from Kathy SlattengrenIt’s easy to get into power struggles with your children. However, once you learn what triggers power struggles, you can avoid them. Let’s look at how to do this using a couple of examples. In the first situation, five year old Jacob has asked his mom if he can have a cookie. ...
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