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Articles from M.J. Ryan | Selfgrowth.com
- This is a SCARF You Don’t Want to Wear - by Submitted on Jul 14, 2010 from M.J. RyanI wrote last time about how our limbic systems are constantly on high alert, ready to activate the stress response at the sign of a threat. That’s a good thing when we’re in physical danger. But unfortunately it also can turn on in traffic jams, layoffs, arguments with our loved ones…you fill in ...
Views: 1982(1 vote) - The Schoolroom of Love - by Submitted on Jun 02, 2010 from M.J. RyanOne of the greatest inspirational writers of the 19th century was a man named Henry Drummond who wrote a best-selling little book called The Greatest Thing In the World. In it, he said, “The world is not a playground; it is a schoolroom. Life is not a holiday but an education. And the one ...
Views: 1514(2 votes) - What Do you Want More Of? - by Submitted on May 28, 2010 from M.J. RyanReally. What do you want more of in your life? More peace? More time off? More fun? More inner tranquility? Unless we identify what it is that we truly want, we tend to be so caught up in daily life that we don't even think about what will make us truly happy. Today, ask yourself what you want ...
Views: 2136(4 votes) - What Do you Want More Of? - by Submitted on May 28, 2010 from M.J. RyanReally. What do you want more of in your life? More peace? More time off? More fun? More inner tranquility? Unless we identify what it is that we truly want, we tend to be so caught up in daily life that we don't even think about what will make us truly happy. Today, ask yourself what you ...
Views: 1345(6 votes) - Getting Rid of Those Pesky Inner Critics - by Submitted on May 18, 2010 from M.J. RyanHundreds of books have been written about getting rid of these voices because we all know they don’t serve any useful purpose. Even if those who spoke to us originally in this way were trying to be helpful, at this point they exist only to torture us. But I don’t know a single person who has ...
Views: 1331(1 vote) - Stuck? Put It on the Back Burner - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2010 from M.J. RyanArchimedes figured out how to determine how much gold there was in a crown while lying in the bath tub. While dozing by the fire, Friedrich August Kekule had a dream of snakes that allowed him to understand the structure of benzene. For both of these scientists, the answer came when they stopped ...
Views: 1459(3 votes) - Who Are You Becoming? - by Submitted on Mar 04, 2010 from M.J. RyanThere is a story from the Talmud that goes like this: When Akiba was on his deathbed, he bemoaned to his rabbi that he felt he was a failure. His rabbi moved closer and asked why, and Akiba confessed that he had not lived a life like Moses. The poor man began to cry, admitting that he feared ...
Views: 1573(2 votes) - Your One and Only Precious Life - by Submitted on Feb 05, 2010 from M.J. RyanThe first step to create a life of meaning is to truly see your life as the precious, limited time opportunity it actually is. You can make it a beautiful mansion. Here’s how Philip Adams puts it, “Most people can do extraordinary things if they have the confidence or take the risks. Yet most ...
Views: 1461(1 vote) - Giving from the Heart - by Submitted on Dec 21, 2009 from M.J. RyanIt’s holiday time and for many of us, holidays that should be filled with opportunities for true happiness—a sense of togetherness, a chance to give, and a chance to be grateful—are turned into occasions for fights, disappointments, overspending and fatigue. But it doesn’t have to be that way. ...
Views: 1614(3 votes) - Growing in Wisdom and Love - by Submitted on Dec 18, 2009 from M.J. RyanIf there is a through line in my life, both personally and as a writer, it is to identify and develop those qualities that help us grow individually and collectively in wisdom and love. That’s ultimately why I’m so interested in self trust. “Wisdom,” Buddhist monk Khandro Rinpoche says, “is ...
Views: 1505(4 votes) - What if There Were Nothing Wrong With You? - by Submitted on Dec 14, 2009 from M.J. RyanGiven the training we’ve had in listening to everyone but ourselves and believing we are broken and bad, how do we begin? We start by understanding that the capacity to trust ourselves is not a fixed state we either have or don’t, like straight hair or violet eyes. Rather it is a quality of ...
Views: 1308(2 votes) - Cultivating Self Trust - by Submitted on Dec 08, 2009 from M.J. RyanSelf trust is a virtue, like patience, that has been all but lost in the externally focused society that has increasingly evolved over the past fifty years or so. It is the capacity to know ourselves deeply and to rely on ourselves confidently as the source of our decisions. It is a combination ...
Views: 1746(3 votes) - You are a One of a Kind Miracle - by Submitted on Dec 03, 2009 from M.J. RyanI am larger and better than I thought. I did not know I held so much goodness. --Walt Whitman The other day, I was driving down a country road in upstate New York when a giant billboard for a car dealership caught my eye. It had a picture of a smiling infant and the words “YOU WERE ...
Views: 1350(2 votes) - Dancing with Life’s Messiness - by Submitted on Nov 25, 2009 from M.J. RyanIf insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results, what is thinking the same thing over and over despite evidence to the contrary? I refer to my chronic illusion that some day I Will Get Everything Under Control. In my mind, it’s soon, just not now: after my ...
Views: 1443(2 votes) - Draw To You Want You Want - by Submitted on Nov 17, 2009 from M.J. RyanLast time I wrote about the danger of focusing on the problem rather than the solution. There’s another reason why focusing on the road instead of the hole is important. It’s got to do with what The Secret is about. Say what you will about that massive bestseller, but there is a kernel of truth ...
Views: 1572(14 votes) - Watch the Road, Not the Pot Holes - by Submitted on Nov 02, 2009 from M.J. Ryan“The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us.” --Voltaire Lana Calloway is president of Exhibit Resources, a company that does design, construction, and installation of trade show exhibits. Following the 9/11 terrorist attacks, Lana and many of her clients ...
Views: 1454(2 votes) - The Power of a Mantra - by Submitted on Nov 02, 2009 from M.J. Ryansung__mantra400jpgWhen I was a child, dealing with my particular configuration of a dysfunctional family, I remember lying awake in bed night after night, year after year, too afraid to go to sleep. There were some willow trees outside my window I used to watch. No matter how hard the wind blew, ...
Views: 1076(2 votes) - Become a Life-Long Learner - by Submitted on Oct 20, 2009 from M.J. RyanMy mother has been telling me she’s too old to change since she was 45; she’s now 85. In a way, she had the privilege of that position because she hasn’t had to support herself. Those of us out there making a living know how much the world is changing and how we must change to keep up, no matter ...
Views: 1355(3 votes) - Cultivate Your Witness Self - Part 2 - by Submitted on Oct 07, 2009 from M.J. RyanIf I’ve inspired you in my last blog entry to give meditation a try, here’s a very basic form of mindfulness meditation, adapted from Vipassana Buddhism: Find a quiet place to sit in a chair or on the floor, with your eyes open or closed, whichever is most comfortable to you. Set a timer for ...
Views: 1027(3 votes) - Cultivate Your Witness Self - by Submitted on Sep 30, 2009 from M.J. RyanThe other day I got a call from a reporter for a women’s magazine wondering if I knew of any new stress reduction ideas, “you know, beyond breathing and meditation.” It reminded me of our tendency in this culture to grasp for the novel and it even caused me to doubt whether to include this piece ...
Views: 1592(9 votes) - Climb On My Back - by Submitted on Sep 21, 2009 from M.J. RyanDuring the eulogy for Senator Ted Kennedy by his oldest son, Ted Kennedy, Jr., the son offered this story: “When I was 12 years old I was diagnosed with bone cancer, and a few months after I lost my leg there was a heavy snowfall over my childhood home outside of Washington, D.C. My father ...
Views: 1298(4 votes) - BBLLISS Meditation - by Submitted on Sep 16, 2009 from M.J. RyanFind yourself in fear a lot these days? This is a five minute meditation created by my colleague in Professional Thinking Partners Dawna Markova. It strengthens the creative, problem solving part of our brain, the neocortex’s, ability to intervene during times when the amygdala (the primitive ...
Views: 1100(3 votes) - Evaluate Progress - by Submitted on Aug 24, 2009 from M.J. RyanPamela Busch owns a restaurant in San Francisco. Like everyone else, she felt the pinch of the economic downturn as people stopped going out to eat. She decided to adapt by offering a three-course tasting menu at a set price. Great. Her desired outcome is to stay in business. She’s accepted ...
Views: 1690(5 votes) - Circle into Action - by Submitted on Aug 20, 2009 from M.J. RyanThe other day I got a fan letter about AdaptAbility from Daniel Hawthorne, a guy who described himself as having “high functioning autism” which makes dealing with any change, especially unexpected, difficult. In addition to telling me that he found my book very helpful, he shared a technique of ...
Views: 1382(2 votes) - Your Future is Built on a Bedrock that is Unchanging - by Submitted on Aug 17, 2009 from M.J. RyanTom Heuerman is an organizational consultant who recently wrote about the qualities of sustainable organizations: they “continually adapt to the external environment…. [and] have a core identity of purpose (why they exist) and values (guiding principles) that provide stability and continuity as ...
Views: 1322 - More Resilience This Minute - by Submitted on Aug 06, 2009 from M.J. RyanResearch by psychology professors Richard G. Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun shows that not only do we have the ability to grow through the challenges of our life, what they call post-traumatic growth, but the benefits of doing so include improved relationships, new possibilities for our lives, a ...
Views: 1955(2 votes) - You’re More Resilient Than You Think - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2009 from M.J. Ryan“I can’t handle this,” Susan cried, contemplating her daughter’s dwindling college fund. I know how she feels. When I think of the changes I’ve had to deal with in my life—having to lie flat in bed for a year due to back pain, going through a devastating breakup, dealing with the financial ...
Views: 1608 - Cultivate Both/And Thinking - by Submitted on Jul 27, 2009 from M.J. RyanAs I’ve written about before, our brains are not always our friends. They have various habits that can really get in our way. One is what’s called bifurcating, the tendency to think in either/or: either I am happy or I’m sad; either I am trying hard or I’m giving up; either I am a success or a ...
Views: 1936(3 votes) - Bouncing Back - by Submitted on Jul 24, 2009 from M.J. Ryan“I can’t believe this is happening to me,” said the CEO on the other end of my phone line. “They just offered me a contract extension and three months later they’re telling me I’m out. I’m in shock.” Whether you have just received the news you no longer have a job or are dealing with any ...
Views: 1573(3 votes) - The Business Case for Hope - by Submitted on Jul 21, 2009 from M.J. RyanThink hope is not something we need in the hard business world? Think again. In these challenging times, says psychologist and hope researcher Shane J. Lopez, it’s a crucial business skill. Here’s why. When we’re faced with challenges, as I describe in AdaptAbility, it is crucial that we think ...
Views: 1241(2 votes) - Hope Helps Us Cope - by Submitted on Jul 17, 2009 from M.J. RyanIn Greek mythology, when Pandora opened the box and let out all the troubles that have since plagued the world, she also let out a tiny fairy who said, “Yes, it is true that you have unleashed all manner of afflictions upon the world, but you have also let me out. I am Hope and will always be ...
Views: 1885(3 votes) - It's Not Personal - by Submitted on Jul 14, 2009 from M.J. RyanWhat’s happening right now is not because you’re bad or wrong or incompetent. It’s because the world is transforming at breakneck speed and each and every one of us must adapt to those changes as quickly and efficiently as possible. No one’s exempt.Age doesn’t get you off the hook. Nor does how ...
Views: 1508(3 votes) - What Helps You Expand Your Thinking? - by Submitted on Jul 03, 2009 from M.J. RyanSo many of us think about creativity in the context of being an artist or musician. However I prefer the definition that resiliency expert Frederic Flach uses. Creativity is “a response to a situation that calls for a novel but adaptive solution, one that serves to accomplish a goal.” That’s ...
Views: 1713(9 votes) - Getting The Pounds Off For Good - by Submitted on Mar 04, 2008 from M.J. RyanWhether it’s because of a doctor’s warning, an important birthday, or just because you’re fed up, at some point you vow to lose weight. But by the time the rosy blush of good intentions wears off, your promise gets pushed aside. Not because you don’t still long to lose ...
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