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Articles from H. Les Brown | Selfgrowth.com
- Finding Peace With Yourself - by Submitted on Oct 23, 2008 from H. Les BrownI do spend some time with what I call the 'Education Section' of the Washington Post every morning. Everyone else may refer to it as the 'Style Section', but to me it'll always be the 'Education Section.' That's where I get my daily dose of wisdom from the comics (don't be mistaken: they're not, ...
Views: 1973 - I Can't Get No . . . Satisfaction - by Submitted on Oct 22, 2008 from H. Les BrownThe three emotional characteristics that most clearly define a man in midlife are 'restless', 'irritable' and 'discontent'. No wonder they 'can't get no satisfaction'! There's quite a significant difference between the ways that men and women deal with this bucket of emotional pain: women ...
Views: 803 - Sorry, Guys - Time's Up! - by Submitted on Oct 21, 2008 from H. Les BrownYou know what they say: "Time and tide wait for no man." And, you know, they're right. Time's up, guys! Tide's gone out, and there's not enough water left to float your boat. For the past four months, I've been focusing my energies on addressing the single most critical time in a person's life ...
Views: 731 - Sounding the Emotional Depths - by Submitted on Oct 20, 2008 from H. Les BrownWe know one thing for certain regarding midlife: it's an emotional maelstrom. The principal difference between your reactions to the emotions that you experience during the midlife transition and the ones you endured during puberty lies in the fact that you're so much more adept at finding ...
Views: 822 - Detecting the Deadly Detour - by Submitted on Oct 19, 2008 from H. Les BrownJust a couple of days ago, our family interred my uncle at Arlington National Cemetery will full military honors. He was an Air Force Lieutenant Colonel who once served in the Pentagon under Robert McNamara during the Kennedy-Johnson administrations. He was quite a brilliant and accomplished ...
Views: 831 - Why Men Get Lost In The Clouds - by Submitted on Oct 16, 2008 from H. Les BrownJust before we moved from Connecticut to Delaware (where we now live), I was only about a month away from earning my instrument rating on my private pilot's license. From everything I've heard, the instrument rating is the most difficult rating for a private pilot to achieve. If I were to ...
Views: 986 - Life Is Change (Stagnation Equals Death) - by Submitted on Oct 15, 2008 from H. Les BrownWe humans have a morbid fascination with security. What's this all about? As you look more closely at how we define 'security' for ourselves, you can begin to learn what it is you really mean when you say that you're working to provide a secure future for your family. Doesn't it mean that you ...
Views: 986 - When Your Clock Strikes Midnight - by Submitted on Oct 14, 2008 from H. Les BrownWhat happens when your clock strikes twelve? There's no fairy godmother, no pumpkin coach or coachmen, no ball gown or glass slippers, no Prince Charming. Nothing left but some very hard work. Everybody's clock hits midnight once in a while. When it does, especially when you're in the midst of ...
Views: 903 - Statistics, Setbacks and Self-Esteem - by Submitted on Oct 13, 2008 from H. Les BrownIt sure seems like when a guy hits middle age, it all hits the fan — and all at once. You know what they say: 'feelings aren't facts', but it certainly seems that way, doesn't it? At the same time, many people don't count on how statistics conspire together to make you the target of ...
Views: 1374 - Your Life in the Balance - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2008 from H. Les BrownDid you ever see the movie Defending Your Life with Albert Brooks and Meryl Streep? The movie begins with hapless Daniel (Brooks) meeting an untimely end and appearing at the judgment with other recently deceased, among whom is young Julia (Streep). They fall in love. Daniel has to defend ...
Views: 959 - Looking Into The Heart Of The Beast - by Submitted on Oct 09, 2008 from H. Les BrownYou know, there's one thing I can say for being an expert in midlife: when an emotional crisis sneaks up from behind you and pounces on your back, you know the material well enough that you can identify the beast before it takes too bad of a bite out of you. Even if you can't figure out in the ...
Views: 730 - The World's Having A Male Midlife Crisis - by Submitted on Oct 07, 2008 from H. Les BrownIf I didn't know better (but I'm not sure that I do), I'd say the world was having a midlife crisis. Whether it's about half-way through it's life span, I don't know; but I do think that it's behaving just like a middle-aged guy. As I read my morning Washington Post today — with one eye ...
Views: 1157 - Don't Confuse Me With The Facts! - by Submitted on Oct 06, 2008 from H. Les BrownThere are (among other things) at least two features that we guys are famous for: not asking for directions, and never reading the instructions before assembling a new 'toy'. That describes me fairly well. I remember driving through the maze of streets in Salerno, Italy, trying to get to the ...
Views: 740 - Could It Be Male Menopause? - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2008 from H. Les BrownI'd like to remind you about the function of hormones in the human body. Some people unfortunately underestimate their function and importance. Hormones are the chemical messengers that control the operation of all the body's systems. You could liken them to the way a television signal causes ...
Views: 785 - Recognize Your Emotional Sleight-of-Hand - by Submitted on Oct 02, 2008 from H. Les BrownFor a couple of years, my partner had to have periodic allergic desensitization shots. He found it very unhandy to administer the shots to himself, so he enlisted my help. I became his unofficial shot-giver. Although I'd never done anything like that before, I followed instructions, practiced ...
Views: 868 - Anger - The Hidden 'Gotcha' Of Midlife - by Submitted on Oct 01, 2008 from H. Les BrownFor the uninitiated, the midlife crisis seems inexplicable. Why would someone who should be really happy behave so erratically? There's the key, though: they should be really happy . . . but they're not! Even those closest to the midlife sufferer are apt to be shocked and confused because ...
Views: 811 - Facing The Financial Crunch - by Submitted on Sep 30, 2008 from H. Les BrownEconomist and Washington Post columnist Steven Pearlstein wrote this morning that most of those who are in charge of the governing of the world's economy just don't 'get it:' they've underestimated the severity of the economic crisis that's in the process of swallowing up the world's financial ...
Views: 869 - The Young Adult And The Ostrich - by Submitted on Sep 29, 2008 from H. Les BrownOnce upon a time, there was a man. Although he was still young, he was an extraordinary man in many ways. Yet, in spite of his many talents and successes, he was very much like the other men of his age: he didn't want to hear bad news. So, he did the same things he saw all the other men around ...
Views: 760 - The (Aging) Parent Trap - by Submitted on Sep 28, 2008 from H. Les Brown"Nothing's certain but death and taxes," they say. I have to ask, "What's so certain about death and taxes?" The only certitude that we really have is that stuff will happen: some of it enjoyable, some of it painful, some of it avoidable, most of it not. There's an aspect of midlife that becomes ...
Views: 754 - Exit Plan Or Shot In The Dark? - by Submitted on Sep 26, 2008 from H. Les BrownAbout fifteen years ago, I was unemployed for about six months. To be honest, it wasn't exactly my finest hour. I had plenty of speaking and counseling experience (from my time in the ministry), but I had no 'official' training nor a license to practice. I had experience in tech writing and ...
Views: 922 - Tell Me, What Does It All Mean? - by Submitted on Sep 25, 2008 from H. Les BrownWould you like to know what the essence and the root cause of the midlife crisis is? Would you like me to let you in on the Big Secret? Actually, it's not really a secret at all, but it is BIG. The infamous midlife crisis is nothing more (and nothing less) than a crisis in meaning. My personal ...
Views: 950 - How Not To Beat Yourself Up - by Submitted on Sep 24, 2008 from H. Les BrownI want to open by complementing you on your sense of responsibility. I know that I'm talking to the right person, because anyone who is concerned enough about midlife issues to be reading about it has to have a well-developed sense of responsibility and concern for their own (and their loved ...
Views: 2938 - Vision Correction As A Metaphor For Midlife - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2008 from H. Les BrownYesterday I went for my biennial eye exam. I had all the drops and the blinding equipment scanning my cornea and retina. I read the charts so often that I had the bottom line memorized by the time I was finished: O V T C Z 2. Naturally, my eyes were a little worse than they were two years ago, a ...
Views: 908 - 57% Of Layoffs Occur In Middle Age - by Submitted on Sep 22, 2008 from H. Les Brown23255031Even though the information (from the Center for Research on Organizational & Managerial Excellence) may be a little dated, the basic truth behind the facts reported in a 2003 survey from Texas remain very relevant. If you're between 30 and 50, you have an almost 60% chance of being ...
Views: 894 - The Threat Of Abundance - by Submitted on Sep 21, 2008 from H. Les BrownI am a very fortunate guy . . . I really should say that I'm extremely blessed. I live in a modest but lovely home in a summer resort one mile from a beautiful beach. I'm have a relationship that's stable and loving with a level of communication and mutual appreciation and understanding that's ...
Views: 743 - Avoid Uncertainty At Your Own Risk - by Submitted on Sep 19, 2008 from H. Les BrownOf all the columnists in The Washington Post, one of my favorites is Shankar Vedantam who writes "Department of Human Behavior." He's not only a good, clear writer, his research is excellent, and he has no axes to grind. He tells it like it is. In his recent column entitled "The Power of ...
Views: 795 - Coping With Financial Catastrophe - by Submitted on Sep 18, 2008 from H. Les BrownIn case you're among the .001% of the population who might not have noticed (who knows? perhaps you've been in a coma for the past six months), the world's financial institutions are in meltdown. Commentators the world over are using the term 'unprecedented' to describe what's happening. That ...
Views: 757 - When 'Bored' Is the Name of Your Game - by Submitted on Sep 16, 2008 from H. Les BrownThe French have the perfect word for it: ennui. It means 'boredom' but it also means so much more. The dictionary defines the word as meaning, "Listlessness and dissatisfaction resulting from lack of interest." I could add 'restless', 'irritable', and 'discontent.' The French term is also the ...
Views: 770 - Getting Our Anniversary All The Way To Happy - by Submitted on Sep 12, 2008 from H. Les BrownToday, my partner and I celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary (OK . . . I'll admit it: we were both late bloomers and re-treads). As usual, these annual celebrations present an opportunity to look back over the years, to see what worked well (and what worked not-so-well), to take stock of how ...
Views: 824 - Midlife Is The Antidote - by Submitted on Sep 11, 2008 from H. Les BrownIn 1980, singer Grace Jones released her version of the song, "Love is the Drug" and it soon became a hit on the disco circuit. It's true: though we don't always think about it in those terms, love is a very potent drug. Who doesn't love being high on love? To be sure, though, it's not the only ...
Views: 804 - I'll Take the High Road - Will You? - by Submitted on Sep 09, 2008 from H. Les BrownIf I were to have to choose the single most disruptive element of the midlife transition, it would have to be an irreversible transformation in core values. There's a certain inevitability about that seismic shift, since the essence of the midlife transition centers around the breakdown of ...
Views: 756 - Are You Part of the Problem? - by Submitted on Sep 08, 2008 from H. Les BrownIf you're in business or running a business, you're probably familiar with the classical SWOT analysis: a survey of Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats that should be used in the evaluation of any proposal for a new process or approach. If you're at all successful, you'll realize ...
Views: 798 - Does Midlife Make You a 'Lone Wolf'? - by Submitted on Sep 08, 2008 from H. Les BrownOne of the five scales that sociologists use to measure cultural differences is called 'individuation', which is contrasted with 'collectivism'. The scale measures where a society falls along the continuum that represents whether the culture is more individual- or group-oriented. In case you ...
Views: 787 - When Making The Right Choice Goes Wrong - by Submitted on Sep 05, 2008 from H. Les BrownQuick: stop reading right now and write down your top three core values. Do it now! . . . How hard was that? How long did it take you? Did you have to stop and ask yourself, "What does he mean by 'core values'?" Did you have to stop and think, confused by a long list of things that seem very ...
Views: 901 - Facing The Wreckage Of Midlife - by Submitted on Sep 04, 2008 from H. Les BrownAccording to the majority of the respondents on my little unscientific survey, what concerns people most about the midlife transition is facing physical deterioration and the loss of youth and beauty. Is it because looking in the mirror starts to remind you of your own mortality? Or, do you feel ...
Views: 873 - When Are You 'Over The Hill'? - by Submitted on Sep 03, 2008 from H. Les BrownA little over a month ago, I had one of those 'milestone' birthdays . . . you know the kind . . . they're the ones that end in a '0'. It didn't bother me too much this time. Actually, I felt rather good about reaching that age at a time when people are saying, "You're kidding! You're that old?" ...
Views: 774 - I'm Sure I'm Terminally Unique - by Submitted on Sep 02, 2008 from H. Les Brown"I just know I'm the only one in the world who feels this way!" Somehow, the feelings of guilt over your (real or imagined) failures, the confusion and fears that haunt you over decisions (big or small), the barely-controllable urges to run away or get drunk or high or just go wild, all conspire ...
Views: 1119 - Is Marital Infidelity Genetically Determined? - by Submitted on Sep 02, 2008 from H. Les BrownAccording to the news today, marital fidelity in males has a genetic component. About 40 percent of the men studied exhibited a genetic makeup that made it more difficult for them to establish intimate, long-term relationships and strong family ties. The other 60% (who lacked that particular ...
Views: 1045 - Can You Win The Uphill Midlife Battle? - by Submitted on Aug 29, 2008 from H. Les Brown'The more things change, the more they stay the same.' Have you ever had that thought? Have you also noticed that, the harder you push to change the way things are, the less progress you seem to make? Although this experience isn't confined to guys passing through midlife (it's a common ...
Views: 883 - How Much Are You Leaving Behind? - by Submitted on Aug 28, 2008 from H. Les BrownOne of the 'features' of entering into the midlife transition happens to be the dawning realization of just how tenuous our connection to this plane of existence really is. I fondly remember evenings as a student in Ottawa, Ontario spent at the Colonel Bye lounge enjoying the comedy of ...
Views: 1095 - A Message from Your Empty Nest - by Submitted on Aug 27, 2008 from H. Les BrownIf you've married, then I think it's safe to assume that, at some point in your journey, you thought you'd found the perfect partner. I don't have to be clairvoyant to say that, sooner or later along that same journey, you were disappointed. You might think that this disappointment that comes ...
Views: 799 - Over 30 Need Not Apply - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2008 from H. Les BrownKo-Ko. Are you old enough to marry, do you think? Won't you wait till you are eighty in the shade? There's a fascination frantic In a ruin that's romantic; Do you think you are sufficiently decayed? Katisha. To the matter that you mention ...
Views: 764 - The Arts Are a Waste of Time - by Submitted on Aug 25, 2008 from H. Les BrownThis is an era of ever-tightening budgets and precarious performance in students' basic skills. It's an era of 'No Child Left Behind', although very many still are. Many inner-city schools are in disrepair, school supplies are hard to come by, and teachers are generally ridiculously under-paid ...
Views: 7440 - Getting from Child-ish to Child-like - by Submitted on Aug 25, 2008 from H. Les BrownThe myth of the happy childhood hides a sad truth: that one of the principal effects of 'education' seems to be the process of 'disillusionment'. I call this process 'sad', but, in fact, it's more like 'tragic'. In early childhood, youngsters are more closely aligned with their inner destiny ...
Views: 792 - Loving The Man In The Mirror - by Submitted on Aug 22, 2008 from H. Les BrownEvery day you live, you collect stuff. Just imagine the sheer volume of information that passes into your psyche every day, from what you see, what you read, what you experience, what you think, what you do (consciously or unconsciously), and the decisions you make. Every second — awake or ...
Views: 854 - Success Is A Dead End - by Submitted on Aug 21, 2008 from H. Les Brown'Be careful what you pray for, 'cause you just might get it.' Have you ever heard that saying? In my opinion, it so perfectly describes the pitfalls of adulthood. Keep in mind that I have what I think is quite a unique definition for 'adulthood': childhood without the parental constraints. The ...
Views: 794 - Inter-Personal Inter-ruptions - by Submitted on Aug 20, 2008 from H. Les BrownDo you have a long-term primary love relationship? Can you remember that moment when your heart felt so full to bursting that you just had to volunteer, "I love you" for the first time? Can you remember the moment when s/he first said it to you? Do you remember a moment when, in front of people ...
Views: 659 - When Generations Collide - by Submitted on Aug 19, 2008 from H. Les BrownWe're quickly coming into an age when multiple generations are experiencing the midlife transition simultaneously. Perhaps we're already at that point. From my research, it's becoming clear that a far broader range of age groups self-identify as 'middle-aged': people from their mid-thirties into ...
Views: 944 - I (Dis)Honestly Love You - by Submitted on Aug 18, 2008 from H. Les BrownMy apologies to Olivia Newton-John for the parody on her hit song from the '70's, but midlife is the time when couples have been on the same merry-go-round for so long that they're getting saddle sores. Experience tells me that people go into committed relationships with every intention to make ...
Views: 831 - How to Deal with Slowin' Down - by Submitted on Aug 17, 2008 from H. Les BrownI've said this before in public, and so I might as well repeat it: I'm a huge wuss when it comes to not feeling well. I've heard women complain that men don't do sickness well, and when I hear that, I silently have to agree — at least in the case of this one man. My mind generally travels ...
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