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Articles from Susan Derry | Selfgrowth.com
- Relationship Fitness - by Submitted on Jun 21, 2013 from Susan DerryJust as muscles atrophy, or shrink and weaken, with lack of use relationships atrophy when the actions required to keep them strong are neglected. Most people understand that if you want to keep your body fit and healthy then you have to exercise fairly consistently. We do not gain strength or ...
Views: 1073(2 votes) - Good To Great For Couples - by Submitted on Apr 10, 2013 from Susan DerryI have been reading a fascinating and well-written book, Good to Great by Jim Collins, about how good businesses move to being great businesses. As I am reading I cannot help but wonder if the author has not uncovered universal truths about greatness that may apply not only to business, but ...
Views: 1193 - Living Your Life By Choice - by Submitted on Mar 16, 2013 from Susan DerryHow often in a day do you find yourself saying things like I should do this or I have to that? Think about the feeling associated with those shoulds and have tos. It may range from resignation to resentment. Seldom do we experience excited anticipation for things we feel we should or have to do. ...
Views: 1195(3 votes) - What Is Awesome About Your Partner? - by Submitted on Feb 21, 2013 from Susan DerryI wonder what would happen in your relationship, if each day you took a few minutes to consider what was awesome about your partner? Would that influence how you spoke to them? Or how you treated them? Or how you talked about them to others? Neil Pasricha's insightful work, The Book Of ...
Views: 1179(1 vote) - How To Be A Happy Couple - by Submitted on Jan 08, 2013 from Susan DerryWhat do happy couples have in common? Why are some couples still in a satisfying relationships after 50+ years and others cannot make it through a year together? There is some research that suggests that the wife being thinner and better looking than her husband makes for a more satisfying ...
Views: 1525(1 vote) - What Is It Like To Live With Me? - by Submitted on Nov 30, 2012 from Susan DerryOccasionally, it is helpful to get a reality check about how we are perceived by others. We may think that because we love our partner that they know it and feel it. But if we were to take a step back and consider our behavior and the messages we send and how those are received by our partner; ...
Views: 1400(5 votes) - Making Peace With The In-Laws - by Submitted on Oct 08, 2012 from Susan DerryIf your partner is having in-law problems, it is up to you as the son or daughter of the intrusive or disrespectful in-laws to set the boundaries to protect your partner. If your partner feels disrespected or mistreated by your family, it is best to deal with it as soon as possible. It does ...
Views: 1891 - 8 Choices That Will Improve Your Relationship - by Submitted on Aug 14, 2012 from Susan DerryThe state of our lives and our relationships are the result of our seemingly small everyday choices. If for some reason we are unhappy with our relationship or our life, the best place to begin is to consider the choices that we have been making. William James said, “Human beings, by changing ...
Views: 1989(3 votes) - Do We Really Mean For Better, For Worse? - by Submitted on Jul 03, 2012 from Susan DerryToo many couples quickly forget or never internalize the concept of for better, for worse. When their relationship becomes difficult, as all relationships do, they start to question whether it is working for them. Their lack of enjoyment in the relationship leads them to wonder if there might be ...
Views: 1415 - How To Create A Great Couple's Getaway - by Submitted on May 21, 2012 from Susan DerryCreating time for just the two of you is a vital part of a healthy relationship. Make getting away a regular part of your life. Take a weekend at least once a year; better yet, make it a week, twice a year. Too often couples allow their relationship to fall on the priority list behind the myriad ...
Views: 1235(1 vote) - Transform Your Relationship With A Negativity Fast - by Submitted on May 01, 2012 from Susan DerryI would like to challenge you to go 30 days without judgment, harsh words, criticism or complaint in your relationship. This challenge can seem daunting especially if your relationship is struggling. Think of this as an experiment. Take the challenge and notice what happens inside of you and ...
Views: 895(1 vote) - Lack of Communication May Not Be The Problem - by Submitted on Mar 21, 2012 from Susan DerryMany relationships are suffering from a lack of empathy. This is often mislabeled as a communication problem. This communication problem manifests as being able hear the words our partner says, but failing to hear the message they are trying to give us. We do not understand how they could think ...
Views: 1827(1 vote) - Your Relationship Reflects Who You Are - by Submitted on Feb 14, 2012 from Susan DerryThe state of our relationships in many ways is a reflection of who we are. Just as a thorn bush does not grow apples, being angry and bitter inside does not tend to produce happy, contented relationships. Too often how we see our partner says more about us that it does about them. If we are ...
Views: 2187 - Marriage Is Worth The Effort - by Submitted on Dec 09, 2011 from Susan DerryWhat is a lasting happy marriage worth? It is a precious thing—it contributes greatly to the health and wellbeing of the partners involved. Lasting happy marriages make for happy, secure, well-adjusted families. Strong, healthy families contributes to the stability of the community and strength ...
Views: 1064 - Playfulness: An Important Part of Healthy Relationships - by Submitted on Oct 21, 2011 from Susan DerryResearch indicates that we needs at least 12 laughs a day to be healthy. Laughter helps to boost our immune system and makes us more resilient. As Reader Digest suggests, laughter really is the best medicine. It can help you to relax and boost your mood. It helps to protect your heart and to ...
Views: 2211 - Learning to Accept Yourself - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2011 from Susan DerryToo many people are unhappy with their appearance, their abilities or their intelligence. They have measured themselves and found that they are lacking; that somehow they are not good enough, smart enough, wealthy enough, or attractive enough. Far too many people look for acceptance outside ...
Views: 2691(1 vote) - Getting Past Jealousy - by Submitted on Jun 03, 2011 from Susan DerryJealousy is simply insecurity in hyperdrive. Feeling jealous means that we have weighed and measured ourself and found ourself wanting. We compare ourself to someone or something else and feel that we are coming up short. With everything that we feel, do or say, we are trying to get our ...
Views: 2087(1 vote) - Active Listening Improves Communication - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2011 from Susan DerryHow many times have you caught yourself walking away from a conversation feeling satisfied that you pounded your idea home? You knew that the other person was perfectly clear on what it was that you were trying to say. An important concept to remember is that, as Benjamin Franklin said, “A ...
Views: 1349(1 vote) - Forcing Love - by Submitted on Mar 18, 2011 from Susan DerryLove is not something that can be forced. We cannot guilt someone into loving us. We can demand that they love us; however, that tends to have the opposite effect. In order to gain love, we must give love. Consider that people love us because of the way they feel about themselves when they are ...
Views: 7209 - Building Intimacy Heals Relationships - by Submitted on Feb 02, 2011 from Susan DerryToo often people in relationships feel disconnected and alone. Perhaps they have been hurt in the past and want to avoid being hurt in the future. The problem is that cutting themselves off from intimacy not only strains their relationships, but strains their health as well. They may have built ...
Views: 1844 - Love, Lust and Friendship - by Submitted on Dec 14, 2010 from Susan DerryCarl Reiner stated, “Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important.” What is the difference between lust and love, between loving and liking? Love involves being as concerns for someone else’s welfare as you are for your own. Love allows us to care for, serve and sacrifice for each ...
Views: 5877 - Care For CareGivers - by Submitted on Oct 22, 2010 from Susan DerryWhether you are a mom with small children or you are now taking care of your mom, learning to take care of you first can be a challenge. There is a good reason airlines insist that, in the event of an emergency when traveling with small children or others needing care, that you put your on own ...
Views: 1278(2 votes) - Do You Feel Stuck? - by Submitted on Oct 05, 2010 from Susan DerryIf you have ever gotten your rubber boots stuck in a muddy garden, you will remember how hard it is to lift your boot out of the mud. Sometimes you can manage it by holding onto the top of the boot and pulling up as you lift your foot. This requires excellent balance and could result in landing ...
Views: 1929(1 vote) - Choose To Enjoy Each Day - by Submitted on Sep 14, 2010 from Susan DerryMary Jane Irion said, “Normal Day, let me be aware of the treasure that you are.” There are so many wonders around us each day, if we are awake and aware. Often times we are so busy getting to, coming from, hurrying from task to task that we seldom stop to smell the roses. Years ago I came ...
Views: 1720(3 votes) - Staying In Love - by Submitted on Aug 31, 2010 from Susan DerryDr. Helen Fisher put it this way, “Not at any time on this planet have women been so educated, so interesting, so capable. I honestly think that if there was ever a time, in human evolution when we have the opportunity to make good marriages, that time is now.” Being or falling in love is ...
Views: 3774 - Loving Successfully - by Submitted on Aug 18, 2010 from Susan DerryWe have heard many suggestions on how to be successful in life. Believe in yourself, persist, get up every time you fall down, understand there is no failure only feedback, learn from mistakes, reach for the stars and walk toward your goals. All this is true, plus for any career or trade you ...
Views: 1208 - Are Your Expectations Working For Or Against You? - by Submitted on Aug 10, 2010 from Susan DerryIn all of our relationships we have expectations of how things should be, this applies in our intimate relationships as well. Many of these expectations have not been clearly defined in our own mind and frequently we have not openly shared our expectations with our partner. As our partner bumps ...
Views: 1806(2 votes) - How To Get Your Partner To Listen - by Submitted on Aug 27, 2010 from Susan DerryHave you ever felt like you were talking to a wall when you were trying to talk to your partner? Getting your partner to listen, especially to your concerns can be difficult. Remember that you deserve to be heard in your relationship. There are some things that you can do that will make it ...
Views: 1836(1 vote) - Relationship: 8 Keys to Success - by Submitted on Jun 10, 2010 from Susan DerryThere are extreme pressures on relationships today. Fast paced lifestyles can leave little room for developing and maintaining intimate relationships. Yet, a healthy relationship is one of the things that make life worthwhile and helps us live a longer and healthier life. A successful ...
Views: 4048(1 vote) - Change Your Perception Change Your Relationship - by Submitted on Jun 03, 2010 from Susan DerryIf you have difficulties in your relationship, your perspective may be part of the problem. Consider how you are looking at your relationship and how you are looking at your partner? Your perception of your partner and your relationship affects the reality that you experience. Thinking and ...
Views: 5846(3 votes) - Bad Relationship = Opportunity for Growth - by Submitted on May 28, 2010 from Susan DerryLooking at any negative experiences in our lives as an opportunity for growth, rather than misfortune, will allow our lives to have an uphill rather than a downhill trend. When you use what you learned from a previous relationship to grow and mature you will be in a better position to form a new ...
Views: 1790(4 votes) - Finding The Passion In Your Life - by Submitted on May 11, 2010 from Susan DerryPassion is not just limited to the bedroom. You can be passionate about many things in your life. The interesting thing is that the more you invite passion into your life, the greater the chances it will find its way to the bedroom. What do you love to do? When do you lose track of time and ...
Views: 1960 - Slow Down! Enjoy More - by Submitted on May 10, 2010 from Susan DerryWe live in a fast paced world particularly in the western hemisphere. There is a song, “I’m in a Hurry” by Alabama that aptly describes many of our lives: “I'm in a hurry to get things done Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun All I really gotta do is live and die But I'm in a hurry and ...
Views: 1952(3 votes) - What Is Your Relationship Climate? - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2010 from Susan DerryIntentionally or not, you have created a relationship climate for all of your relationships. The quality of those relationships has a lot to do with this climate. Relationship climate has little to do with the exact words that you speak or the things that you do. You can say or do the exact same ...
Views: 6349(4 votes) - Relationships: Pulling Together Rather Than Apart - by Submitted on May 10, 2010 from Susan DerryHave you ever found yourself stuck when trying to solve a problem in your relationship? You talk or battle round and round and never seem to reach any type of agreement. Granted some problems are complicated and difficult to solve, but sometimes we complicate our problems by approaching them ...
Views: 1164 - Raise Your Self-Esteem, Six Behaviors That Give You a Boost - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2010 from Susan DerryThe importance of self-esteem is an unavoidable reality. All of us are impacted by our self-esteem, whether we recognize it or not. High self-esteem allows us to respect ourselves and makes it easier for others to respect us as well. When we feel good about ourselves we are more able to ...
Views: 2164(4 votes)