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Articles from Richard Nicastro | Selfgrowth.com
- Build a Stronger Marriage by Setting Relationship Goals - by Submitted on Sep 06, 2007 from Richard NicastroWhen you consider what your relationship needs, consider the laws of gravity. An object that is set in motion will continue to move, unless something stands in its way. On the flip side, a motionless object will never move unless something acts upon it. Your relationship or marriage will remain ...
Views: 22334 - Commitment: The Essential Ingredient In Your Relationship - by Submitted on Dec 14, 2007 from Richard NicastroAnyone who has run a marathon knows about commitment. To compete, the athlete relies on extensive training and physical fitness. But when the initial enthusiasm wanes and the painful, long-distance realities grip the runner's body, it is sheer dedication--commitment to completing what she ...
Views: 15603(2 votes) - Why Second Marriages Are More Likely To Fail: The Challenges Of Blending Families - by Submitted on Oct 02, 2007 from Richard NicastroAre you ready for the understatement of the year? Here it is: Kids will make your second marriage a complicated and challenging experience. The reason is clear: In most circumstances, children do not want their parents to divorce. Therefore, the idea of you meeting someone new and finding ...
Views: 14112(1 vote) - Second Marriage Pitfall # 5: The Challenges of Remarrying After A Spouse Dies - by Submitted on Sep 09, 2007 from Richard NicastroWe all know the grim statistics. Second marriages are more likely to end in divorce than first marriages. Yet, social animals that we are, we keep on remarrying anyway. But there is hope: there are unions that defy statistics and go on to live happily ever after. We often think of second ...
Views: 12545 - Relationship Reality-Check: Are You Too Dependent On Your Partner? - by Submitted on Nov 18, 2007 from Richard NicastroRelationships are all about closeness. Taking the risk to open your heart and letting your partner know the real you is the most profound type of sharing. This level of intimacy can be emotionally and spiritually rejuvenating. A healthy relationship is like a high-wire circus act. Lean too far ...
Views: 9835(2 votes) - Marriage Alert: Are Sexual Fantasies Harmful To Your Marriage? - by Submitted on Jan 01, 2008 from Richard NicastroEd and Brenda have been married for nine years. Both describe their marriage as fulfilling and generally happy, and they experience the typical ups and downs that many couples face. They report that they share a good, solid sex life, and--as in all relationships--the passion between them ebbs ...
Views: 4856 - ***Emotional Affair: Have You Entered A Danger Zone? - by Submitted on Sep 11, 2008 from Richard NicastroYou don't wake up one day and decide to have an affair. You're more likely to gradually enter into the arena of emotional infidelity—and many couples are surprised to discover that this slippery slope begins long before a physical affair is underway. Why is this? Someone starting an ...
Views: 4007(2 votes) - ***Relationship First Aid: How To Heal A Fear Of Intimacy - by Submitted on Jun 10, 2008 from Richard NicastroIntimacy is a lot like trying to get warm on a cold winter night. You wrap yourself up in your favorite blankets and settle in for sleep, but at some point overnight you may feel too warm and constrained by the blankets. So you disentangle yourself and push the blankets away. But after a few ...
Views: 3913 - Hotter Sex: Halloween Is A Perfect Time To Heat Up Your Sex Life - by Submitted on Oct 16, 2007 from Richard NicastroEven though Travis and Linda are decades beyond the acceptable age for trick-or-treating (they’re in their mid-forties), and even though they don’t have children of their own to steer around the neighborhood, they love Halloween. No, it’s not what you think. They don’t ...
Views: 3787 - *** Marriage Help: Coping with a Spouse's Illness - by Submitted on Mar 18, 2009 from Richard NicastroIt's natural to enter a long-term relationship with expectations. And one expectation most of us have is that our spouse or partner will remain relatively healthy. Although wedding vows ask us to consider the possibility of sickness, we don't automatically assume our loved ones will suffer a ...
Views: 3408 - Second Marriage Success: How To Strengthen Your Second Marriage - by Submitted on Oct 16, 2007 from Richard NicastroSecond marriage success: How to strengthen your second marriage Pam voiced her frustration about problems in her second marriage: “I couldn’t believe it was happening all over again. Slowly but surely, my second husband started to do all the things my first husband did, and I ...
Views: 3398 - Are You In A Passionless Marriage? The 10 Warning Signs You Haven't Heard About - by Submitted on Jan 15, 2008 from Richard NicastroYou and your wife are settled in for the Mary Tyler Moore Show marathon with his and hers bags of microwave popcorn and caffeine-free diet Pepsi. Before Mary even gets in her first, "Oh, Mr. Grant!", the Passion Police bust down your door and handcuff you both. "You are hereby charged with ...
Views: 3282 - ***Passionate Sex: How To Overcome Boredom In The Bedroom - by Submitted on Aug 08, 2008 from Richard NicastroQ: I love my husband, but somewhere along the line we've become more like friends than lovers. We had an amazing sex life early in our relationship but now we're lucky if we have sex once a month, and when we do it's pretty unremarkable. I really enjoy sex and I'd like to make it a regular part ...
Views: 3007 - ***Intimacy 101: Uncover The Hidden Rules That Run Your Relationship - by Submitted on May 11, 2008 from Richard NicastroNo matter how we might resist them at times, we can't deny the presence of rules in society. From traffic lights to ticket sales, rules help us avoid chaos and establish routines that allow us to cope as a society. But beyond the macrocosm, rules are an important presence in the microcosm of ...
Views: 2773 - Relationship help: Bring intimacy back into your relationship - by Submitted on Oct 14, 2009 from Richard NicastroCouples often seek out my relationship help or marriage advice because of difficulties with intimacy—they no longer feel a deep emotional connection with their spouse/partner. Why are so many couples struggling with emotional intimacy? In order to experience the gifts of emotional ...
Views: 2764(3 votes) - Rejuvenate Your Relationship Through The Power of Gratitude - by Submitted on Sep 13, 2007 from Richard NicastroYou have the power to change your mood at this very moment—to increase your optimism, elevate your energy and enthusiasm, and increase your motivation toward reaching your personal goals. How is this possible? By sowing the seeds of gratitude. Research shows that when you increase feelings of ...
Views: 2752(2 votes) - Are you affair-prone? 5 conditions that can lead to an affair - by Submitted on Oct 07, 2007 from Richard NicastroAn affair takes an enormous emotional, physical and spiritual toll on any committed relationship. The very foundation that a relationship is built upon—trust, commitment and loyalty—are shattered, and the post-affair relationship is sometimes unsalvageable because the sense of ...
Views: 2607 - Relationship Help: 5 Tips from Successful Couples - by Submitted on Nov 17, 2010 from Richard NicastroWhen it comes to building a healthy marriage/relationship, one of the best resources is to hear from couples who have been together for many years and, most importantly, would do it all over again with the same person. In the marriage/relationship enrichment workshops I run, there are often ...
Views: 2397(1 vote) - *** Overcoming Marriage Problems: Start Focusing on Solutions - by Submitted on Mar 31, 2009 from Richard NicastroWhen a troubled couple comes to me for relationship help, one of the first questions I ask is, "What have you already done to try to solve these relationship problems?" Several issues immediately become apparent as I listen to these distressed couples: 1. Many of them didn't have a plan to ...
Views: 2360 - Sexless Marriage: Blocks to Sexual Desire and Intimacy - by Submitted on Dec 02, 2010 from Richard NicastroPhysical intimacy is an important component in marriage and long-term relationships. The reasons why a passionate marriage might dwindle into a sexless marriage vary widely. The first step in keeping passion alive over the long haul is to understand the roadblocks to emotional and physical ...
Views: 2310 - The Key Ingredient for Deep Emotional Intimacy - by Submitted on Nov 07, 2011 from Richard NicastroEmotional safety is something couples typically don't think about until something happens to threaten this safety. Emotional safety (knowing that you can trust your spouse/partner, that s/he has your best interest in mind and will try to be responsive to your emotional needs) creates a ...
Views: 2291 - ***Marriage problems: Are power struggles destroying your relationship? - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2008 from Richard NicastroIn the past you were single… …and you could make decisions without having to check in with anyone. Your favorite color was red and you liked small, fast cars (as in Cherry Red Sports Car, beloved even though you wrenched your back getting in and out); The one bedroom apartment ...
Views: 2233 - ***How to Deepen Intimacy through the Power of Empathic Listening - by Submitted on Nov 19, 2008 from Richard Nicastro"I hate having to compete with the TV or computer for my husband's attention. He used to be such a wonderful listener. I feel like I'm not important enough to him anymore." ~Jennifer "It's really frustrating. I'll tell my girlfriend something and by the next day, she's forgotten what I said. ...
Views: 2229 - *** Communication Clinic: 5 Ways to Get Your Husband to Listen - by Submitted on Apr 01, 2009 from Richard NicastroWhat motivates someone to listen to another person? Understanding this question will help you work toward more effective listening in your own marriage or relationship. 1. Clear message, favorable outcome Clearly communicating your needs is the foundation of effective communication and a ...
Views: 2220(6 votes) - Marriage Help: making sense of the withdrawn husband - by Submitted on Sep 24, 2009 from Richard NicastroWhen you and your spouse/partner are locked in cycles of conflict, you probably assume you have nothing in common—especially during those times when your husband seems to shutdown emotionally and withdraw from you. However, the likelihood is that you and your mate share common threads in all ...
Views: 2050(5 votes) - 5 reasons marriages end in divorce - by Submitted on Dec 01, 2009 from Richard NicastroQ: "I'm getting married in a month and want to know why so many marriages end in divorce. What should I look out for? How can I prevent divorce?" ~Sandra, Houston TX A: Understanding why a marriage or relationship might fail can alert couples to their own unique relationship ...
Views: 2027(3 votes) - Relationship Help: Why Do I Get So Upset with My Partner? - by Submitted on Feb 08, 2011 from Richard NicastroQ: I need some relationship help. While I love my husband with all my heart, sometimes it's just so frustrating being married to him. When I feel that he's ignoring me, I get so upset, and he's usually surprised by the intensity of my reaction. Why do I get so upset with him? ~Lynn, Carlsbad ...
Views: 1953(2 votes) - Marriage Makeover: Put The Brakes On Destructive Relationship Habits - by Submitted on Oct 09, 2007 from Richard NicastroFor better or for worse, we’ve all learned how to be in relationships from observing the unions that surrounded us throughout our lives. If you grew up in a family where faithfulness, compassion and commitment were top priorities, and conflicts were dealt with rather than swept away, ...
Views: 1894 - ***Marriage Slumps, Relationship Ruts and Other Painful Realities About Love - by Submitted on Sep 24, 2008 from Richard NicastroWarning: the contents of this article may upset you. In fact, I strongly recommend that you close this page. If you're like most people, you have a child-like naïveté about romance. I don't want to spoil that. Sure, you were able to handle the truth about Santa Claus and the tooth ...
Views: 1847 - Marriage Help: How to Prevent a Marriage Crisis - by Submitted on Oct 16, 2011 from Richard NicastroDuring a marriage crisis, life gets turned upside down and pulled apart, often in frightening and distressing ways. Like a volcanic eruption, tensions and pressures have accumulated that can no longer be contained by feelings of love or the motivation to "stick it out." The crisis often peaks ...
Views: 1800(1 vote) - Relationship Advice: The ABC's Of Effective Communication - by Submitted on Jan 15, 2008 from Richard NicastroCommunication is the foundation of your relationship. Without it, you can't really have much of a relationship--just imagine how futile it is to build a house on quicksand rather than concrete. And with healthy, reciprocal communication, your marriage or relationship will continue to evolve in ...
Views: 1747 - Passion And Marriage: 4 Mindsets That Can Destroy Passion - by Submitted on Feb 10, 2008 from Richard NicastroIf I asked you who your best friend is, many of you would point to your spouse or partner. Close friends share a strong emotional bond, enjoy spending time with each other and often have a lot in common. However, there are important elements of a romantic relationship that set it apart from a ...
Views: 1708 - *** Marriage Advice: Turning Conflict into Opportunities - by Submitted on Aug 27, 2009 from Richard Nicastro"I really hate it when we argue…but I've also learned so much about my husband from our fights and we have a stronger relationship now." ~Sandra, married seven years Even the most effective communicators get into spats now and then. And despite your best efforts at marital bliss, you and your ...
Views: 1578(3 votes) - Relationship Advice for Women: Build a Feelings-Friendly Relationship for Your Man - by Submitted on Dec 21, 2010 from Richard NicastroMen, Marriage & Emotions As a marriage/couples counselor, I often witness the emotional mismatch men and women struggle with when it comes to the world of feelings: For women, feelings are the pathway to emotional intimacy; closeness and connection are achieved by acknowledging and ...
Views: 1578(1 vote) - ***Sex, Lies And Secrets: Is Secrecy Destroying Your Marriage? - by Submitted on Mar 25, 2008 from Richard NicastroAfter the story broke that New York governor Eliot Spitzer was having sex with prostitutes, relationship experts popped up on every news channel, dispensing theories about Mr. Spitzer's behavior. Opinions about why a married man (and one with a great deal to lose) would behave this way ranged ...
Views: 1572 - Marriage Help: One Question Couples Should Avoid - by Submitted on Apr 01, 2011 from Richard NicastroQuestions have power. They can open our minds up to new possibilities and ways-of-being, they can alter the course of our thoughts and shape our behavior in positive ways... ...and questions can have the opposite effect, shutting us down with the force of a jackhammer. And some questions ...
Views: 1555(4 votes) - Why Men Cheat: Discover The Reasons And Affair-proof Your Relationship - by Submitted on Jan 01, 2008 from Richard NicastroSurveys indicate that men are more likely to be unfaithful than women. Because of this unsettling statistic, it is helpful to explore the specific reasons why men -- more often than women -- may choose to have an affair. There are many reasons why you might be unfaithful. The obvious is that ...
Views: 1554 - Marriage Help: How Your Relationship Expectations Shape Your Relationship - by Submitted on Jan 21, 2011 from Richard NicastroWe are all embedded in a continuous stream of experience—an endless current that is too expansive to for us to take in all the information at once. One function of the mind is to help you deal with this vastness: To select, order and ultimately, create meaning out of all the life that surrounds ...
Views: 1538(1 vote) - ***The Dance Of Intimacy: 5 Key Steps For A Closer Relationship - by Submitted on Aug 03, 2008 from Richard NicastroA loving connection is the bedrock of a committed relationship—all couples are trying to find ways to remain emotionally close to one another as they navigate the complexities of life. When people feel deeply connected to their partners, they often describe feeling "complete," "whole" or ...
Views: 1503 - Relationship Advice: What Is Needed For Deeper Emotional Intimacy - by Submitted on Oct 24, 2011 from Richard Nicastro"I'm tired of feeling alone in my marriage." ~Christian, married three years Often times, when couples complain about a break down in communication or some other marital/relationship problem, part of their distress centers around feeling emotionally disconnected from each other. This lack of ...
Views: 1446(1 vote) - *** Are You Running from Intimacy? - by Submitted on Mar 12, 2009 from Richard NicastroIntimacy is the hallmark of a healthy marriage or relationship. But there may be powerful, unconscious forces at work that prevent you from developing a deep and meaningful connection with your partner. Many couples seek out marriage help, relationship advice and/or couples counseling because of ...
Views: 1440(3 votes) - ***Men and Intimacy: 5 Myths about men, love and intimacy - by Submitted on Nov 11, 2008 from Richard NicastroWhen it comes to love, men often get a bad rap. "You only hear about the guys who are abusive or cheat, but how about the tons of men who are faithful and kind?" ~John "I've been married for over twenty years. I know I'm not perfect, but I can honestly say that I do my best to be a good ...
Views: 1409(2 votes) - Healthy Relationship Program: Set Goals and Transform Your Relationship - by Submitted on Sep 03, 2007 from Richard NicastroImagine your life without goals. That’s right: pretend you just wiped away every single goal imaginable—from the mundane sort like getting out of bed and brushing your teeth to the bigger variety, like making partner at the firm. I bet you can’t imagine it. Because without goals (the ones you ...
Views: 1395 - ***Deep Connections, Vulnerable Selves: How Vulnerability Enhances Intimacy - by Submitted on Sep 24, 2007 from Richard NicastroLasagna, the earth's crust, and people;what do they have in common? They're all made of layers. Our layers are certainly more complicated than pasta and cheese, and very different from the planet's natural stratifications, but as thinking, feeling humans, we're complex, layered individuals. ...
Views: 1362 - ***Relationship Alert: Discover How This Common Habit Can Ruin Your Relationship - by Submitted on Jul 21, 2008 from Richard NicastroThere are times when it's helpful to use compare and contrast thinking. For example, fifth-grade Social Studies. Remember when Mrs. Dogoody assigned the paper: "Compare and Contrast Ancient Roman and Ancient Greek Civilizations"? (I do; I still have the occasional nightmare about that one.) The ...
Views: 1348 - Relationship Needs: Are Your Needs Hurting Your Relationship? - by Submitted on Jan 28, 2011 from Richard NicastroNot everyone realizes they have relationship needs (emotional and physical needs that you expect your spouse/partner to meet). This is especially the case for older couples I work with who were raised in a generation where the phrases, "emotional needs" "emotional intimacy" and "need for ...
Views: 1348(2 votes) - Relationship Advice for Men (and the Women Who Love Them): How to be Open to Intimacy - by Submitted on Jul 09, 2010 from Richard NicastroHave you ever related to your spouse/partner in a totally non-defensive, emotionally open way? If you have, in that moment you and your spouse/partner were vulnerable and receptive to each other’s emotional needs/experiences. To do this, you were able to free yourself from the emotional ...
Views: 1345(2 votes) - Don't Let These Common Intimacy-Blockers Ruin Your Relationship - by Submitted on Jan 15, 2008 from Richard NicastroExperiencing a deep, loving connection is one of the most meaningful aspects of a healthy relationship. But achieving and maintaining this connection isn't always easy. You (or your partner) can have a strong desire for closeness and yet inadvertently push each other away at times. This is ...
Views: 1333 - ***After Marriage: 4 Surefire Ways To Kill The Passion In Your Relationship - by Submitted on Aug 29, 2008 from Richard NicastroAnyone in a marriage or a long-term relationship understands the challenges of keeping romance and passion alive. Candlelit dinners, gazing into each other’s eyes, and the priority of talking and making love begin to buckle under the pressure of busy schedules, the demands of maintaining ...
Views: 1319 - *** Avoid These Relationship Traps and Build a Stronger Union - by Submitted on May 13, 2009 from Richard NicastroI'm often asked, "What is one of the most challenging issues couples face today?" While every couple is different, there are themes that I see in my work as a couples counselor and relationship coach. One common issue is the difficulty couples have in prioritizing their relationship—a form of ...
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