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Articles from Richard Nicastro | Selfgrowth.com
- ***Marriage Lessons: A Golden-Anniversary Couple Share Their Wisdom - by Submitted on Mar 12, 2008 from Richard NicastroNo matter how well your relationship is humming along right now, there's room for the advice of relationship mentors. Couples who have been together for many years (and who have been relatively happy, despite the inevitable rough patches) have discovered what has benefited their relationship the ...
Views: 946 - ***Marriage problems: Are power struggles destroying your relationship? - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2008 from Richard NicastroIn the past you were single… …and you could make decisions without having to check in with anyone. Your favorite color was red and you liked small, fast cars (as in Cherry Red Sports Car, beloved even though you wrenched your back getting in and out); The one bedroom apartment ...
Views: 2233 - ***Marriage Slumps, Relationship Ruts and Other Painful Realities About Love - by Submitted on Sep 24, 2008 from Richard NicastroWarning: the contents of this article may upset you. In fact, I strongly recommend that you close this page. If you're like most people, you have a child-like naïveté about romance. I don't want to spoil that. Sure, you were able to handle the truth about Santa Claus and the tooth ...
Views: 1847 - ***Passionate Sex: How To Overcome Boredom In The Bedroom - by Submitted on Aug 08, 2008 from Richard NicastroQ: I love my husband, but somewhere along the line we've become more like friends than lovers. We had an amazing sex life early in our relationship but now we're lucky if we have sex once a month, and when we do it's pretty unremarkable. I really enjoy sex and I'd like to make it a regular part ...
Views: 3007 - ***Relationship Advice: Stop The Negativity And Build A Better Relationship - by Submitted on Nov 09, 2008 from Richard NicastroNew love seems to cradle and carry couples for a time—magnifying all that is good about your partner and your future together. We now know that relationships go through a series of phases over the years—some that can challenge the very bond that holds you together. It's interesting ...
Views: 1223 - ***Relationship Alert: Discover How This Common Habit Can Ruin Your Relationship - by Submitted on Jul 21, 2008 from Richard NicastroThere are times when it's helpful to use compare and contrast thinking. For example, fifth-grade Social Studies. Remember when Mrs. Dogoody assigned the paper: "Compare and Contrast Ancient Roman and Ancient Greek Civilizations"? (I do; I still have the occasional nightmare about that one.) The ...
Views: 1348 - ***Relationship Basics: Have You forgotten The Fundamentals Of A Great Relationship? - by Submitted on Aug 05, 2008 from Richard NicastroYou often hear struggling athletes say that they have to "go back to basics." After years of repetition, it's easy to lose sight of the fundamentals they need to stay on top of their game. Often they need an outsider's perspective (i.e., a coach) to help them determine which fundamentals ...
Views: 1214 - ***Relationship First Aid: How To Heal A Fear Of Intimacy - by Submitted on Jun 10, 2008 from Richard NicastroIntimacy is a lot like trying to get warm on a cold winter night. You wrap yourself up in your favorite blankets and settle in for sleep, but at some point overnight you may feel too warm and constrained by the blankets. So you disentangle yourself and push the blankets away. But after a few ...
Views: 3913 - ***Relationship Help: How The Latest Research Can Transform Your Relationship - by Submitted on Apr 13, 2008 from Richard NicastroThink back to the time when your love was new, when you had just fallen in love: How did you know you were in love? Maybe you couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't concentrate on work or chores or anything that didn't involve your love object. Maybe you felt like a totally different person, ...
Views: 825 - ***Sex, Lies And Secrets: Is Secrecy Destroying Your Marriage? - by Submitted on Mar 25, 2008 from Richard NicastroAfter the story broke that New York governor Eliot Spitzer was having sex with prostitutes, relationship experts popped up on every news channel, dispensing theories about Mr. Spitzer's behavior. Opinions about why a married man (and one with a great deal to lose) would behave this way ranged ...
Views: 1572 - ***The Dance Of Intimacy: 5 Key Steps For A Closer Relationship - by Submitted on Aug 03, 2008 from Richard NicastroA loving connection is the bedrock of a committed relationship—all couples are trying to find ways to remain emotionally close to one another as they navigate the complexities of life. When people feel deeply connected to their partners, they often describe feeling "complete," "whole" or ...
Views: 1503 - 5 Loving Actions That Will Keep Your Love Alive - by Submitted on Nov 09, 2007 from Richard NicastroIt’s no secret that modern life is fast-paced and getting faster every day. In this world, relationships—and all the work they require—can easily be seen as inefficient, time-consuming and simply not gratifying enough. For your relationship to have a healthy chance at survival, ...
Views: 644 - Are you affair-prone? 5 conditions that can lead to an affair - by Submitted on Oct 07, 2007 from Richard NicastroAn affair takes an enormous emotional, physical and spiritual toll on any committed relationship. The very foundation that a relationship is built upon—trust, commitment and loyalty—are shattered, and the post-affair relationship is sometimes unsalvageable because the sense of ...
Views: 2607 - Are You In A Passionless Marriage? The 10 Warning Signs You Haven't Heard About - by Submitted on Jan 15, 2008 from Richard NicastroYou and your wife are settled in for the Mary Tyler Moore Show marathon with his and hers bags of microwave popcorn and caffeine-free diet Pepsi. Before Mary even gets in her first, "Oh, Mr. Grant!", the Passion Police bust down your door and handcuff you both. "You are hereby charged with ...
Views: 3282 - Build a Stronger Marriage by Setting Relationship Goals - by Submitted on Sep 06, 2007 from Richard NicastroWhen you consider what your relationship needs, consider the laws of gravity. An object that is set in motion will continue to move, unless something stands in its way. On the flip side, a motionless object will never move unless something acts upon it. Your relationship or marriage will remain ...
Views: 22334 - Communication Rx: How To Discuss Sensitive Issues With Your Partner - by Submitted on Nov 18, 2007 from Richard NicastroFact #1: Certain topics of discussion proceed more smoothly with a little planning-- especially sensitive and emotional topics. Fact #2: When it comes to your marriage or relationship, you’re likely to overlook Fact #1. Permit me to make the following assumption: When you’re at ...
Views: 1164 - Don't Let These Common Intimacy-Blockers Ruin Your Relationship - by Submitted on Jan 15, 2008 from Richard NicastroExperiencing a deep, loving connection is one of the most meaningful aspects of a healthy relationship. But achieving and maintaining this connection isn't always easy. You (or your partner) can have a strong desire for closeness and yet inadvertently push each other away at times. This is ...
Views: 1333 - Healthy Relationship Program: Create Rituals and Transform Your Relationship - by Submitted on Sep 24, 2007 from Richard NicastroWhen veteran parents give advice to new parents, they often start by explaining the value of routines: bedtimes, storytimes, mealtimes, etc. Well, guess what? We may outgrow footed pajamas and Sippy cups, but we don’t outgrow our need for rituals—repeated, regular events you come ...
Views: 1198 - Healthy Relationship Program: Set Goals and Transform Your Relationship - by Submitted on Sep 03, 2007 from Richard NicastroImagine your life without goals. That’s right: pretend you just wiped away every single goal imaginable—from the mundane sort like getting out of bed and brushing your teeth to the bigger variety, like making partner at the firm. I bet you can’t imagine it. Because without goals (the ones you ...
Views: 1395 - Hotter Sex: Halloween Is A Perfect Time To Heat Up Your Sex Life - by Submitted on Oct 16, 2007 from Richard NicastroEven though Travis and Linda are decades beyond the acceptable age for trick-or-treating (they’re in their mid-forties), and even though they don’t have children of their own to steer around the neighborhood, they love Halloween. No, it’s not what you think. They don’t ...
Views: 3787 - Just For Men…And The Women Who Love Them: How Men Can Communicate More Effectively - by Submitted on Sep 12, 2007 from Richard NicastroQ: My wife complains that I don’t talk to her enough. I really want to make her happy, so I’ve been trying to talk more. Sometimes this works and we have great conversations. But other times, when I try to give her advice, she ends up frustrated with me and I end up with my foot in my mouth. Any ...
Views: 1131 - Marital Conflict: Turning Arguments Into Opportunities - by Submitted on Dec 02, 2007 from Richard NicastroOnce an argument has been settled, it's human nature to tuck it away in the back of your mind so you never have to revisit it again. After all, why would you want to stir up all those negative feelings associated with the argument? It's easy to think that only a glutton for punishment would do ...
Views: 1058 - Marriage Alert: Are Sexual Fantasies Harmful To Your Marriage? - by Submitted on Jan 01, 2008 from Richard NicastroEd and Brenda have been married for nine years. Both describe their marriage as fulfilling and generally happy, and they experience the typical ups and downs that many couples face. They report that they share a good, solid sex life, and--as in all relationships--the passion between them ebbs ...
Views: 4856 - Marriage Makeover: Put The Brakes On Destructive Relationship Habits - by Submitted on Oct 09, 2007 from Richard NicastroFor better or for worse, we’ve all learned how to be in relationships from observing the unions that surrounded us throughout our lives. If you grew up in a family where faithfulness, compassion and commitment were top priorities, and conflicts were dealt with rather than swept away, ...
Views: 1894 - Men and Intimacy: Is It Really a Fear of Intimacy? - by Submitted on Oct 29, 2009 from Richard NicastroWhat is a fear of intimacy? The term "fear of intimacy" is often used to describe someone who has difficulty creating a close connection with their spouse/partner. Typically, the phrase highlights a person's struggle to become physically and/or emotionally close, and we often describe this ...
Views: 1237 - Passion And Marriage: 4 Mindsets That Can Destroy Passion - by Submitted on Feb 10, 2008 from Richard NicastroIf I asked you who your best friend is, many of you would point to your spouse or partner. Close friends share a strong emotional bond, enjoy spending time with each other and often have a lot in common. However, there are important elements of a romantic relationship that set it apart from a ...
Views: 1708 - Relationship Advice: Don't Let Your Changing Feelings Sabotage Your Relationship - by Submitted on Jan 29, 2008 from Richard NicastroQ: There have been times when I'm not absolutely sure that I'm still in love with my husband. I'm afraid this means we're not right for each other, even though we've been married for several years. Can you shed any light on this? A: There are many normal factors that can influence how you feel ...
Views: 949 - Relationship Advice: Practice Acceptance Each Day And Keep The Divorce Lawyer Away - by Submitted on Feb 10, 2008 from Richard NicastroIt is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences ~Audre Lorde In the beginning there were similarities… Early in your relationship, you and your partner probably rejoiced when you discovered shared interests: "I can't ...
Views: 710 - Relationship Advice: The ABC's Of Effective Communication - by Submitted on Jan 15, 2008 from Richard NicastroCommunication is the foundation of your relationship. Without it, you can't really have much of a relationship--just imagine how futile it is to build a house on quicksand rather than concrete. And with healthy, reciprocal communication, your marriage or relationship will continue to evolve in ...
Views: 1747 - Relationship Advice: Turn Anger Into A Relationship Ally - by Submitted on Feb 10, 2008 from Richard NicastroA great deal has been written about the damaging effects that anger can have on intimate relationships. But did you know that anger can be beneficial to your marriage or relationship? The dark side of anger Like all emotions, anger runs along a continuum--from low to high intensity. When ...
Views: 813 - Relationship Conflict: 3 Common Traps To Avoid When You Argue - by Submitted on Nov 25, 2007 from Richard NicastroI've yet to meet a couple that never argues. Maybe the conflict-free couple exists somewhere, but our paths haven't crossed. Even the most highly compatible couples get into spats now and then. Let's face it, with all the similarities you share with your partner or spouse, there are ...
Views: 660 - Relationship Help: Growing Your Relationship Throughout the New Year - by Submitted on Jan 18, 2011 from Richard NicastroBeginnings and endings...and your relationship Life is a never-ending series of beginnings and endings—with each ending signaling a new beginning. And it is these beginnings that give us hope that new possibilities are available, that we can shed what hasn't worked and start anew. Each ...
Views: 1299 - Relationship Resiliency: 3 Simple Ways To Strengthen Your Relationship - by Submitted on Nov 15, 2007 from Richard NicastroCouples seek out my services when they’re dissatisfied about some aspect of their relationship or marriage. In many instances, small problems have spiraled into larger, complicated ones. (At least the problems feel complicated.) Often, my advice is straightforward and simple, even if the ...
Views: 1184 - Relationship Resiliency: Positive Interactions And Your Relationship - by Submitted on Oct 01, 2007 from Richard NicastroAmy just got a big promotion at work, and she rushes home to share the news with her partner Larry. She bursts in the door, her body language exuding celebration and excitement, and finds Larry in the basement, running his model railroad layout. Over the chugging and whistling of the train, ...
Views: 753 - Relationship Rut: New Life For Old Routines - by Submitted on Oct 21, 2007 from Richard NicastroThere aren’t too many things better than a peaceful sleep, right? You’re comfortable, you’re safe, you’re getting important needs met. But what happens when you’re sleeping so soundly that you inadvertently crush an arm for a while? The crimp in your circulation ...
Views: 700 - Second Marriage Pitfall # 5: The Challenges of Remarrying After A Spouse Dies - by Submitted on Sep 09, 2007 from Richard NicastroWe all know the grim statistics. Second marriages are more likely to end in divorce than first marriages. Yet, social animals that we are, we keep on remarrying anyway. But there is hope: there are unions that defy statistics and go on to live happily ever after. We often think of second ...
Views: 12545 - Second Marriage Success: How To Strengthen Your Second Marriage - by Submitted on Oct 16, 2007 from Richard NicastroSecond marriage success: How to strengthen your second marriage Pam voiced her frustration about problems in her second marriage: “I couldn’t believe it was happening all over again. Slowly but surely, my second husband started to do all the things my first husband did, and I ...
Views: 3398 - Sexless Marriage: Blocks to Sexual Desire and Intimacy - by Submitted on Dec 02, 2010 from Richard NicastroPhysical intimacy is an important component in marriage and long-term relationships. The reasons why a passionate marriage might dwindle into a sexless marriage vary widely. The first step in keeping passion alive over the long haul is to understand the roadblocks to emotional and physical ...
Views: 2310 - Tell Me No Lies: 7 Reasons Why You Might Lie to Your Partner - by Submitted on Feb 17, 2008 from Richard NicastroIn the workshops I conduct for couples, I often ask if anyone has ever lied to their partner (the couples respond anonymously). Usually more than half (sometimes as many as 90%) admit to having lied to their spouse or partner at some point. More than half the people who said they lied to ...
Views: 954 - The Key Ingredient for Deep Emotional Intimacy - by Submitted on Nov 07, 2011 from Richard NicastroEmotional safety is something couples typically don't think about until something happens to threaten this safety. Emotional safety (knowing that you can trust your spouse/partner, that s/he has your best interest in mind and will try to be responsive to your emotional needs) creates a ...
Views: 2291 - The Ultimate Holiday Gift: Nurture Your Relationship This Holiday Season - by Submitted on Dec 02, 2007 from Richard NicastroIf it's the season to be jolly… …then why am I seeing so many stressed, beleaguered couples walking around? Is it more apt to say, 'Tis the season to feel tense, frustrated and constantly on the go? Whether you're feeling totally overwhelmed or slightly frustrated, it's easy to ...
Views: 597 - Why Men Cheat: Discover The Reasons And Affair-proof Your Relationship - by Submitted on Jan 01, 2008 from Richard NicastroSurveys indicate that men are more likely to be unfaithful than women. Because of this unsettling statistic, it is helpful to explore the specific reasons why men -- more often than women -- may choose to have an affair. There are many reasons why you might be unfaithful. The obvious is that ...
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