Is lack of trust undermining your connection with your partner and wrecking havoc in your relationship? Lack of trust might extend to beliefs that your partner is cheating. Or it can be as simple as not trusting your partner to be there, follow through, keep their word, be accountable, get your ... Views: 619
I’m a therapist… I’m a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I’m a Certified Imago Therapist (additional training in doing couples work). Hence, I specialize in working with couples. I’m often asked what’s my niche, what’s my thing… I specialize in working with codependent couples (partners ... Views: 593
Unfortunately I get to see how partners get in their own way when trying to create connection and intimacy with each other. I can hear the noise in their head. I can see the wheels turning. I can see the gears grinding. I can see the squirrels running around, some even holding on to nuts for ... Views: 617
I have found that most relationship issues can be boiled down to taking personal responsibility and setting effective boundaries… This includes showing-up to our interactions appropriately by being intentional, mindful and compassionate. It doesn’t do anybody any good to show-up by ramming ... Views: 565
Partners expecting too much or too little from each other is a sign of a dynamic in disarray.
When partners have expectations that are beyond what their partner is capable or willing to do, it is usually because they think they know best. They think they know what their partner should be ... Views: 425
Whether there is a lot of fighting and bickering or quiet discontent and separateness, most couples struggle in their relationship. You might feel dissatisfaction, loneliness, and hopelessness seep in and take an unrelenting hold of your relationship from which you can’t seem to figure out a way ... Views: 506
Fun is important in our relationship. Having fun releases different chemicals in the brain that engender good feelings which get then associated with our partner. This is a good thing. Having fun with our partner should be a priority in our relationship. We can get huge returns on this ... Views: 1623
It’s amazing how many partners know their partner loves them, but they still don’t feel loved… This is actually kind of an epidemic… Couples struggle because they get stuck in power struggles. They let their Ego get in the way. They approach their situation from a reactive and self-preservation ... Views: 469
In my recent reading I have come across a piece of writing that has made me think of sexuality and physical intimacy from a different angle. I love when that happens! Give me material that sparks my creative juices and that I can integrate into my work for greater impact, and I’m a very happy ... Views: 459
I think romance is underrated… I hear couples express they want romance and to be romanced, but they state it with a sense of shame, wishful thinking and as an unattainable outcome. They off-handedly claim their wish in the same sentence that dismisses it with the practicality of everyday life. ... Views: 473
Life can be as hectic as can be this time of year with End-of-School and Summer Planning. These stressors create great strain for couples as they juggle the multitude of demands and additional expenses in their homes. There are a few times of year when things get really hairy, and this is one of ... Views: 486
Do you find that your relationship and life appear to be on pause? Do you feel like you’ve been in a hamster’s wheel? Does it feel like you are always back to square one, like you can’t get ahead, like life is passing you by? Does it feel like your relationship is not going anywhere? This is a ... Views: 427
What is the Fun Quotient in your relationship? Couples have the tendency to become complacent in their relationship including the fun aspect of their relating. This is traumatic to the relationship as it stifles its energy flow creating a numb, stuck and disconnect feel and dissatisfied ... Views: 1458
What do you usually think of when you think of the f word? We probably both think of the same four-letter word, but for today let’s make our f word a more meaningful word. F is for Focus. F is for Freedom. I’ve written before that what we focus on persists. What we focus on either enables us or ... Views: 777
This time of year, and specially with everything that’s going on, we might be feeling raw, sensitive, antsy, edgy, anxious, stressed, overwhelmed, depressed, unmotivated, lethargic, detached numb, and such. These feelings are more compounded when we are feeling disconnected, might be ... Views: 424
Anger is a poison in our relationship when it is misunderstood and unleashed. It gets in the way of understanding, connectedness, intimacy, love, and satisfaction in our relationship. Anger in its explosive or simmering manifestation, is a sign that something is wrong when it is prevalent. This ... Views: 1647
What is the key to an awesome day? Yes, we can say that all kinds of good things happening to us would make the day awesome. But I dare challenge that notion as we don’t want to be at the mercy of good things happening randomly to us for us to have an awesome day. When good things happen, let’s ... Views: 509
Have you decided how you want the rest of the year to go yet? Yes, this is a decision… Regardless of what the world is doing out there you still have control over your mind, your feelings, your actions, your home, your work and the rest of it…
This is a hard concept for some to accept. Some ... Views: 457
Nobody likes to feel disconnected from their partner. Partners might like to have time to themselves and do their own thing. But they like to have that while still feeling connected. Feeling disconnected, not in a good place, not on the same page, not in alignment, not together or not close, ... Views: 378
Mothering Vs Fathering… This is not a competition! First off, wishing all the Moms a very Happy Mother’s Day. And here is an invitation for all of us to embrace more Mothering in our own lives, of ourselves and our loved us. We can all stand to be more compassionate, nurturing and loving… ... Views: 360
As we already started diving into in last week’s issue, Fathering is a very important concept in our life. From “fathering” comes discipline, the self-discipline we need to really succeed at our life.
How disciplined are you? Do you have systems or a mechanism in place to achieve your goals? ... Views: 523
I LOVE this time of year to set myself up for an amazing new one. Everything I walked you through in the past few blogs, all captured here: How to Waltz into the New Year, I do myself. I’m so excited for the new habits I’m integrating this year like Morning Pages (concept from The Artist’s Way) ... Views: 434
It is not uncommon for couples to have the same recurring issues and arguments… If partners are not intentional and proactive about addressing the underlying reasons for these, they will continue to have them… Not addressing relationship dynamics can break a couple… Banging around unconscious as ... Views: 372
The Holiday Season is here! This time of year is usually challenging regardless of how crazy the world is out there. What makes this season usually more challenging is that we trip into it and get sucked into the hecticness. This sets us up for chaos, being stretched too thin, overwhelm, drama, ... Views: 547
It is not uncommon for partners to feel bored, stale, empty, disconnected and cranky. When this is not attended to it festers and creates more difficulties in the relationship. Partner’s start to wonder about the solidity of the relationship, their commitment to it and how much they want to ... Views: 437
It is not easy to live a successful and meaningful life. It takes intentionality, focus and dedication to stay the course. Our life Journey has ups and downs, and at times it can feel like an obstacle course. With the many demands of today’s modern life and specially recently as we’ve weathered ... Views: 375
In our society Freedom is one of our most valuable assets and one we tend to take for granted. How we perceive and define our freedom is directly correlated to our sense of power and our ability to design the relationship and life we want. When we get stuck looking at our situation with a murky ... Views: 743
Because things are challenging it doesn’t mean we have to lose our s*t. This is the most important aspect of managing the current crisis. That is, to manage how we choose to process information and how we choose to look at the facts. How well are we able to separate the facts from the stories we ... Views: 445
A lot of times we experience our partner as selfish. They might seem self-indulgent, inconsiderate, self-absorbed, thoughtless, demanding, and unsupportive. They might be passive-aggressive and underminding. It appears that everything is about them and for them.
It is draining to be in ... Views: 466
I hear how every year appears to go quicker and faster for some as their lives get busier and more complicated in their attempt to keep up with the pace of our ever moving society. This is a challenging pull to evade fraught with consequences for the relationship. We become distracted from our ... Views: 402
Our mood is impacted by many variables in our lives if we let it. Our hectic lifestyles, poor self care, habits, emotional problems, the weight of our history, etc. can all have a huge impact on how we feel and therefore how available we are in our relationship(s).
But how we feel can also be ... Views: 435
We are responsible for absolutely everything in our life… When people struggle, they are quick to find the reasons and explanations for why things are not going as they would like. They usually end up pointing the finger at some external factor for why things are as they are…
What if they ... Views: 412
Our relationship has a purpose. There is a reason for our relationship why we chose the partner we did. People, in more recent times, usually say they got married, or are involved in their relationship, because they love their partner, and/or have also other logical reasons why they decided to ... Views: 552
Post Valentine’s Day Blues are real… There is even a thing as “Anti Valentine’s Day Week”… This week is not just for those that don’t believe on the mushy holiday, but also for those who are disappointed by it. Regardless of what camp you are in on the holiday and your Valentine’s Day ... Views: 423
Most relationships have to endure a history of trauma experienced by one or both partners and a current trauma(s).
Traumas include abandonment, neglect, abuse, rejection, control, accidents, assaults/attacks, catastrophes, infidelity, infertility, loss, relocation, birthing and becoming ... Views: 1468
You know when you don’t feel so hot physically or emotionally, how you are more sensitive to most things? And, even more so with your partner and how they are being? The things that you would normally let go or that wouldn’t necessarily bother you, in this state they are actually experienced as ... Views: 407
After large numbers of deaths in NY/NJ, the outbreak seems to be slowing down and the curve flattening a bit in this area. Yay! This is just the beginning of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Hey, I’ll take ANY good news. Focusing on the good is Good…
What insights have you gotten ... Views: 415
It never ceases to amaze me that what we believe and think we create… I recently had the pleasure of connecting with a fabulous person who shared, “I started having the Good Things falling out of the sky…” What a lovely, powerful and faithful statement! I want this for you. I want you to have a ... Views: 387
Life is full of little wonderful surprises if we allow ourselves to see them and let them in… When was the last time you were delighted by the unexpected? Are you being flexible with your approach to life, work, schedule, perspectives? Are you letting your energy flow freely? Do you allow your ... Views: 536
New beginnings are super exciting, and this new season promises nothing less. Not only is it a new season, but it is also Springtime when things come alive. And, this Spring is meaningful as it marks a one-year anniversary of the still ongoing global pandemic but with it hope as the vaccine is ... Views: 477
Great communication has to do with smoothing things out and feeling Aligned. It has to do with getting on the same page, feeling understood and accepted, and getting traction towards a vision in common. Unfortunately, partners get in their own way when interacting with each other which prevents ... Views: 437
It feels terrible when we have the same arguments over the same disagreements, over and over again… Doesn’t it? It’s so frustrating to feel like we are living in the twilight zone, or that we are having a Groundhog Day experience… It’s tough to know that we’ll have the same conversation without ... Views: 395
How do we create a masterpiece life? How do create an awesome relationship? The answer is quite simple, we change (grow, heal, step it up a notch, etc)… How do we change? We change by taking action on new information (or old information if you sat on your a** with it thus far)… Insight, ... Views: 563
… Newness generates inspiration, energy, motivation, momentum, new heights… How do you keep things Fresh in your life? How do you inspire and motivate yourself? How do you strive for new heights?
Building on our current Spring Renewal Theme, when we declutter, detox, spring clean and ... Views: 508
There is no better way to create wonderful memories and meaning in one’s relationship than with rituals. Rituals are a special way to show love, appreciation and importance for the partners throughout time in the life of the relationship.
Relationships are made up of interactions between two ... Views: 1429
We are asked and begged to be Mindful by our partner. More often than not we hear their plea as a complaint or criticism. We do not recognize their cry for connection and love. This is because they might not have the language or know how to ask us to be in connection with them. They might ... Views: 481
Right about now is when the end of year crunch and stress of holiday planning starts to creep in. People fall into all kinds of categories in terms of how they do the holidays. But whether they actively plan and try to dot all their “i”s and cross all their “t”s or by just wing it nonchalantly, ... Views: 414
It is just the way it is for some couples. After a while they can’t feel their partner. They don’t feel loved and actually believe their partner doesn’t care about them. They feel like just roommates, two ships passing in the night. Others don’t even see each other at night! They spend so little ... Views: 601
Without even realizing or knowing how it happened sometimes couples find that they have gotten themselves stuck in a rut. This is very common and it can happen cyclically in the relationship. The couple’s rhythm inevitably sets this up to happen.
Some things that affect this phenomenon ... Views: 766
Even the most healthy, satisfying and rewarding relationship has stuff that gets on our nerves. As nobody is perfect, the way we are in relationship with our partner and what we put in our in-between (the space between the two partners that represents the relationship) is also less than perfect. ... Views: 404