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Articles from Margaret Paul | Selfgrowth.com
- ***Relationships: Hanging in Through the Hard Stuff - by Submitted on Oct 25, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you have the courage to hang in through the hard times and do the learning and healing we all need to do to create a loving relationship? ________________________________________ Are you committed to working through the difficult and painful ...
Views: 1147 - *** "What's The Point of a Relationship?" - by Submitted on Oct 18, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you sometimes have confusion regarding the value of a relationship? ________________________________________ Jeanine asked me the following question at one of my free webinars: "Hi Dr. Paul, thank you so much for your wonderful work and for ...
Views: 1465 - ***"How Can I Manage Overwhelm?" - by Submitted on Oct 18, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you often feel overwhelmed with demands, tasks and life in general? ________________________________________ Most of us lead very busy lives and it is easy to become overwhelmed with all we need to do. In addition, about 15% to 20% of us are born ...
Views: 1255 - ***"Why Do I Feel Shame When I'm Being Blamed?" - by Submitted on Oct 18, 2013 from Margaret Paul______________________________________ What's really happening when someone blames and shames you? If you stopped taking it personally, what would you be feeling? ________________________________________ What do you generally do when someone blames you for his or her feelings? Do you find ...
Views: 1400 - ***The Power of Appreciating Yourself - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you often feel unappreciated? ________________________________________ "I'm a very nice person. I'm a good guy and I do nice things for people, but they never seem to appreciate me, and I feel angry about that," said Martin in one of our first ...
Views: 1577 - ***"Why Do I Seem to Attract Rejection?" - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Are you perplexed regarding why you so often feel rejected by others? ________________________________________ Alana asked me the following question: "My whole life I have felt that I don't fit in with others - in my family, school, work - and ...
Views: 1277 - ***"How Can I Not Get Hurt By Others' Judgments?" - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you have a misconception about what it means to be a strong and emotionally healthy person? ________________________________________ Do you have an expectation that if you were emotionally healthy, you would not feel hurt in the face of others' ...
Views: 1419 - ***"Why Can't I Forgive Myself For My Mistakes? - by Submitted on Aug 28, 2013 from Margaret PaulDo you judge yourself for the past? Discover why and what to do about it. Brianna wrote to me, asking: "I am having a difficult time forgiving myself of past mistakes and it feels like it haunts me every morning and I get bogged down in swirling thoughts which only holds me ...
Views: 1546(1 vote) - ***"My Wife Won't Have Sex With Me " - by Submitted on Aug 28, 2013 from Margaret PaulIs sex mostly gone out of your relationship? There are always good reasons for this. Do you identify with Lawrence, whose wife won't have sex with him? In my work with individuals and couples, I often hear this complaint. Lawrence asks: "Would you please address how one deals ...
Views: 1906 - ***"I Want To Open But I'm Scared of Getting Hurt." - by Submitted on Aug 28, 2013 from Margaret PaulAre you afraid to open your heart to love, for fear of getting hurt? Learn how to lovingly manage the hurt. Is it possible to fully love without getting hurt? The answer is unequivocally NO! Is this because love hurts? Again, the answer is NO! It is not love that hurts. It's ...
Views: 1304 - ***"Divorced and Reconciled – But It's Not Working" - by Submitted on Aug 09, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ After reconciling with your partner, do you find yourself back in the same pattern? ________________________________________ Nancy wrote to me asking the following question: "My husband and I were married for 15 years. Divorced. Reconciled after 9 ...
Views: 1545 - ***"I Lose Myself Around Others" - by Submitted on Jul 26, 2013 from Margaret PaulHave you wondered why you are often able to take loving care of yourself when you are alone but you lose yourself in relationships? Discover the answer now! Do you find that you take loving care of yourself when you are alone, but that you lose yourself with someone you are ...
Views: 1544 - ***"How Can I Let Love In?" - by Submitted on Jul 26, 2013 from Margaret PaulDo you want to share love, but find yourself pulling away or pushing others away? Do you find yourself wanting love but being afraid to really open to it? This is the situation Marley finds herself in: "How can I do a better job of letting love in and sharing love? I seem to ...
Views: 1459 - ***Healing Love Addiction Within a Relationship - by Submitted on Jul 19, 2013 from Margaret PaulRelationships can provide a wonderful arena for healing love addiction. Many relationships flounder due to the issue of love addiction. Since people come together at their common level of woundedness – i.e., their common level of self-abandonment – if one partner is love ...
Views: 1551 - ***Change Your Life With This Simple Act - by Submitted on Jul 19, 2013 from Margaret PaulDo you understand the power of kindness to change your life? "Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same ...
Views: 1482 - ***What Does It Mean To Be Love Addicted? - by Submitted on Jul 12, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ How do you know if you are love addicted? Discover the answer in this article. ________________________________________ Our culture seems to promote love addiction to such an extent that it seems like a healthy way to relate. While it is very common, ...
Views: 1549 - ***Getting Out of The Negative Relationship Cycle - by Submitted on Jun 28, 2013 from Margaret PaulShould you leave a relationship that is stuck in a negative cycle? It is quite common for me to work with clients who are stuck in a dysfunctional relationship cycle. Sarah describes a common cycle that she wants to resolve: "I am stuck in a two year uncommitted ...
Views: 1589 - ***How Do I Stop Sabotaging Myself? - by Submitted on Jun 28, 2013 from Margaret PaulDiscover why you may be sabotaging and punishing yourself with your self-judgment and self-rejection. Would you love to manifest your dreams and have the life you want? Most people would unhesitatingly respond with a resounding "YES!" Yet, do you sometimes find yourself ...
Views: 1296 - ***The Way to Happiness - by Submitted on Jun 28, 2013 from Margaret PaulAre you ready to discover the way to happiness? Are you ready to discover what Epictetus knew over 2000 years ago? "There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will." ~Epictetus, AD 55-135 It's hard for ...
Views: 1288(1 vote) - ***I Fall Too Hard In Love - by Submitted on Jun 20, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you find yourself getting hurt over and over in relationships? Discover why. ________________________________________ Do you find yourself falling hard for someone and then ending up feeling rejected and not good enough when it ends? This is the ...
Views: 1261 - ***"I Lose My Cool In Relationships." - by Submitted on Jun 20, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you find that as soon as you really like someone – whether as a friend or as a partner – you 'lose your cool?' ________________________________________ Relationships offer us more opportunities for personal growth than just about anything else in ...
Views: 1222 - ***Can I Change A Narcissist? - by Submitted on Jun 14, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Sometimes we are clueless regarding the subtle ways we are trying to control, while being very aware of a partner's controlling behavior. ________________________________________ Tara asked me the following question: "Dear Dr. Paul, How do you ...
Views: 1312 - ***What Does It Mean To Love Yourself? - by Submitted on May 24, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Many of us know that we need to be loving to ourselves, but what does this actually mean? ________________________________________ Since most of us had little or no role modeling regarding loving ourselves when we were growing up, it's often ...
Views: 1554(1 vote) - ***"How Can I Get Him To Stop Hurting Me?" - by Submitted on May 24, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Are you aware of the system you have created with your partner that may be causing you pain? ________________________________________ I have worked with couples for 44 years, and one thing I can tell you for sure: relationships are a system, and each ...
Views: 1227 - ***Do You Define Your Adequacy By Looks and/or Performance? - by Submitted on May 24, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ What was valued and approved of in your family as you were growing up? ________________________________________ When you were growing up, how did you learn to define your worth? Here are some of the things my clients have said to me: • In my ...
Views: 1215 - ***The Fear of Being Duped - by Submitted on May 17, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Is being duped something you avoid at all costs, or are you willing to be duped in order to keep your heart open? ________________________________________ No one likes being duped. It feels awful to realize that someone has pulled the wool over our ...
Views: 1330 - ***"How Do I Deal With My Critical Mother?" - by Submitted on May 17, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Dealing with critical people, especially a parent, is a challenge for all of us. Here are some options for dealing with a critical mother. ________________________________________ Having a critical mother is a big challenge. I know, because I grew up ...
Views: 1274 - ***Addiction to Getting Others To Change - by Submitted on May 03, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Are you focusing on getting your partner to change to avoid a painful choice that you might need to make? ________________________________________ If you find yourself often focused on healing others or hoping you can get others to change, it is ...
Views: 1685(1 vote) - ***"Can We Be Friends After A Relationship Ends?” - by Submitted on Apr 19, 2013 from Margaret PaulDiscover what you may need to address before deciding whether you can be friends with an ex partner. Elise writes: "My partner and I separated a year ago. My partner now wants to finalize the relationship but work on being 'friends'. I am having difficulty connecting as just ...
Views: 1510 - ***Challenges of The Dating Scene - by Submitted on Apr 05, 2013 from Margaret PaulDating provides many opportunities to learn and grow. Discover some of what you can learn that will be very valuable for you. Franklin writes: "I am a 68 year old male who was married for 27 years and now divorced 15 years. I have fallen in love with a woman after only three ...
Views: 1302 - ***The Foundation for Abundance - by Submitted on Mar 29, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Are you aware of the vast difference between expressing gratitude from your ego wounded self or from your loving adult self? ________________________________________ "Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all ...
Views: 1293 - ***Staying Centered in Conflict - by Submitted on Mar 22, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Are you conflict-avoidant? Does conflict terrify you? Discover how to heal this. ________________________________________ Angela writes: "I avoid conflict as much as possible because I cannot handle the anxiety it produces in me, as if I am going ...
Views: 1244 - ***The Terror that Triggers Protective Behaviors - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you know what triggers you and why? ________________________________________ Have you ever found yourself suddenly feeling angry or scared or shut down when a moment ago you were feeling fine? People or situations can trigger us into rage, ...
Views: 1616 - ***Connection: Our Deepest Desire - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ We all deeply desire connection with others, but what is necessary for us to have this? ________________________________________ When we were born, the most important thing to us was connection with our mother. We needed connection with her body for ...
Views: 1356 - ***Addiction To Getting Things Done - by Submitted on Feb 22, 2013 from Margaret PaulDiscover when getting things done is healthy, and when it is unhealthy and obsessive. There are many addictive ways that most of us have learned to avoid our painful feelings, and focusing on getting things done is often one of these ways. It's not that there is anything wrong with ...
Views: 1646 - ***The Difference between Daydreaming and Imagining - by Submitted on Feb 22, 2013 from Margaret PaulOur imagination is a great gift - a connection with our Divine Source - when we use it from an inwardly connected loving Adult to create the life we want. "Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions." - Albert Einstein We are often ...
Views: 1517(1 vote) - ***Why Do People Kill? - by Submitted on Feb 22, 2013 from Margaret PaulWe need to resolve the violence in our society. I'm offering a few ideas regarding the issues we need to research and address. Why? Why are these horrible killings happening? I don't pretend to know the answers, but I do have some ideas that I want to share with you. I ...
Views: 2105(1 vote) - ***Are You Hiding? - by Submitted on Feb 14, 2013 from Margaret PaulDo you hide from your feelings when you are challenged by life? Or do you allow your feelings to overwhelm you? You CAN learn to manage them and learn from them. "The art of living lies not in eliminating but in growing with troubles." ~ Bernard M. Baruch "How ...
Views: 1432 - ***The Challenge of Conflict - by Submitted on Feb 14, 2013 from Margaret PaulDo you try to control during conflict, or are you conflict avoidant? Neither works well to resolve conflict. Discover what does work! Leslie asks: "When I approach my partner to address an issue, he only sees me as controlling and creating 'controversy'. He can barely stand ...
Views: 1337 - ***Healing From Infidelity - by Submitted on Feb 14, 2013 from Margaret PaulInfidelity is a huge challenge, but relationships can heal from this and actually become stronger. Sheldon wrote this question to me during one of my free webinars: "I am trying to repair my 20-year marriage after my infidelity. I was discovered by my wife two years ago. I ...
Views: 1472 - ***The Art of Conversation - by Submitted on Feb 08, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you have mostly one-way or two-way conversations? What kind of conversationalist are you? ________________________________________ What happens in your conversations with people? The kind of conversation you have with someone says a lot about both ...
Views: 1475 - ***Loneliness versus Solitude - by Submitted on Feb 08, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you often crave solitude, or is being alone too lonely for you? There is an inherent reason for these differences. ________________________________________ "Language has created the word 'loneliness' to express the pain of being alone, and the ...
Views: 1440 - ***I'm Not Appreciated - by Submitted on Feb 08, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Learn what you can do when you don't feel appreciated by your partner. ________________________________________ Chris wrote this question for one of my relationship webinars: "What do you do when you feel you are not loved for who you are? How do ...
Views: 1459 - *** Letting Go Of A Sugar Addiction - by Submitted on Feb 01, 2013 from Margaret PaulHave you tried unsuccessfully to heal a sugar addiction? Here's how! Are you sugar addicted? You are not alone! I used to be intensely sugar addicted. I craved it all the time, and it seems like the more I ate, the more I wanted it. The fact that it made me feel terrible – first ...
Views: 1481 - ***Where Did The Passion Go? - by Submitted on Feb 01, 2013 from Margaret PaulDo you love your partner but find that the intensity and intimacy have become muted? Discover why. Patti asked the following question in one of my webinars on sexuality: I am now going out with the man of my dreams. I have wanted to be in relationship with him for so long. We used ...
Views: 1472 - ***The Art of Setting Boundaries - by Submitted on Feb 01, 2013 from Margaret PaulDiscover what a boundary is and what it isn't. Merilee wrote the following question to me in one of my relationship webinars: "Hi Dr. Paul -- One of my biggest struggles is being open to giving and receiving love, but also setting boundaries. I want to be loving, not ...
Views: 1465 - ***Overweight and Miserable - by Submitted on Jan 25, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Are you tired of being overweight and food addicted? There is a way to heal. ________________________________________ Pamela writes this question for my webinar on food addiction: "I am a 22-yr old female weighing 220 lbs with a height of 5.9". I ...
Views: 1476 - ***Finding The Partner Of My Dreams - by Submitted on Jan 25, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Are you seeking the formula for attracting the partner of your dreams? Here it is! ________________________________________ Rochelle asks: "If I assess myself quite objectively, if I know my accomplishments as well as my drawbacks, is there a ...
Views: 1215 - ***"I Don't Know How To Give Her What She Wants From Me." - by Submitted on Jan 18, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you sometimes feel like you try to give your partner the connection he or she wants and can't figure out how? ________________________________________ I was having a Skype session with Andrea and Lawrence. Married for 18 years with two teen-age ...
Views: 1432 - ***Addicted to Porn? - by Submitted on Jan 18, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Are you addicted to porn and not feeling good about it? Discover the likely underlying cause and what to do about it. ________________________________________ I received the following question when I was conducting a webinar on sexual ...
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