I don't know about you, but I get annoyed when I look for self esteem boosters, and all I find are things like, "get a makeover", or "just think positive thoughts about yourself".
A makeover only lasts for so long, and if you could think more positively, wouldn't you be doing it already?
Low self esteem comes from beliefs that we've been carrying around since early childhood. Many of them have gone subconscious- just below the level of awareness. Some are deep core beliefs. Trying to make yourself think differently, without dealing with these beliefs, just feels like you are lying to yourself. You have to get to the root of the problem.
Discovering and eliminating negative, self esteem draining beliefs is a process that can take awhile to accomplish. In the meantime, I will give you some effective exercises you can start now that should give you some immediate results.
It's More Than A Feeling
Self esteem is more than just a feeling. It's also about how you treat yourself. If you have low self esteem, you probably aren't giving yourself the love and respect you deserve.
Taking action to reverse that will begin to effect your feelings of self esteem as well. As you continue to give yourself love and respect, you'll find that others will also begin to treat you better.
It's the law of attraction in action! OK, so here you go...
Super Self Esteem Boosters
1. I'm not going to tell you to get a makeover, but seriously - if you have been letting yourself go due to your low self esteem, start taking good care of yourself. If you do need a haircut, or a teeth cleaning, or maybe some new clothes, get it done! Do something nice for your body, even if you don't feel like it.
Look at yourself from the perspective of a loving, protective parent, and decide what you need. Then, take action to make it happen. Maybe you need to get more sleep, or to get out and have some fun -- do it! Give yourself lots of love, however you can.
2. If you are like many people with low self esteem, your creativity has been stifled by your lack of self confidence. Turn that around. Not taking into account your age, skill level, or any other limitations, ask yourself, "What creative activity would I most enjoy?" Is it painting? Playing a guitar? Writing a novel? Underwater basket weaving? I added that last one just to encourage you to really tune in to your desires here. Everyone has a gift, or talent waiting to be discovered and developed. Some of them are things none of us have ever heard of.
Don't worry about cost - this is important. If you need to, get books from the library, or buy your equipment a piece at a time. Buy it used. Do what you can with what you have. When you show your intention to do something, life throws down the red carpet!
3. Is there a physical activity that sounds like a lot of fun to you? Maybe it's something you have done in the past, but quit? Or, something you have always wanted to try, but haven't? Deliberately having fun is a form of self love. Love your body and get it in shape doing something fun. Decide what that would be, and then take action to make it happen regularly.
Think you don't have time? Remember this affirmation by Louise Hay, "I have no need to rush because I have all the time in the world. I always arrive at the right place a the right time."
4. Tie up loose ends. Having unfinished projects laying around are real energy drainers. They make you feel like a failure! That's not good for your self esteem. Clean out your closet, or even your whole house. Eliminate things you are done with - old clothes, etc. Don't keep anything because you feel guilty tossing it. If you don't want it, give it away, recycle it, or just throw it away. If you know you really don't want to finish that tacky hook rug you started 3 years ago, chuck it!
Start working on the things you do care about. Write that letter, finish that painting, plant your garden, whatever. Be careful not to overwhelm yourself. Remember that loving parent -- don't expect too much. Don't beat yourself up if you have to say, "You know what? I just can't do this anymore. I'm letting it go."
5. Expect abundance, and prepare to receive it. Do you need something? Get it. Don't deny your needs or strong desires because you are worried something will happen, or there won't be enough money. Here again, is the law of attraction...
Expect poverty, and you shall have it. I'm not recommending you be unreasonable. I'm just saying that you don't have to live in fear. Living in fear affirms low self esteem -- remember that. Life supports you. Be open to it.
6. Say goodbye to negative people. If you have self esteem issues, I'm certain there are people around who get you down and make you feel bad about yourself. Invoke that inner parent, and tell yourself to say, "bye bye". Stop putting their feelings ahead of your own, and give yourself some respect. You can do it nicely. Say something like, "I'm going through some things right now, and want to be alone. Thank you for your concern." Stick to it. When they come knocking, or call out of the blue -- and they will -- don't be derailed. Say, "I am busy and can't talk/visit now." Give no explanations. Remember, you have a right to be.
As your self esteem increases, those negative individuals won't be attracted to you anymore. They'll no longer "vibrate" to your energy.
7. Do something the ancient Toltecs call, "not doing". If you're like most people, you get stuck in routines. Your particular routines spring from your beliefs. Remember what I said about beliefs? Some of them are the source of your low self esteem. They control your choices and actions, and most importantly, they distort your perception of reality. This can be compared to living life in state of hypnosis, or having a bad self esteem dream.
Wake up, and break out of your rut by doing things differently and by doing different things. Start doing some of the things on this list instead of what you would normally do. "Not doing" is a very powerful technique. You'll be impressed with the results.
8. Start listening to, and trusting your intuition. Tune in to yourself. If you feel motivated to do something, that motivation is you telling you what's best. If you don't feel motivated, there's probably a reason why. You can trust yourself.
9. Last but not least, one of the most powerful self esteem boosters of all -- be impeccable with your word. This comes from one of my favorite books, "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. He says, "The word is the strongest expression of the spirit. It is pure magic. It is pure power."
Gossiping, or speaking negatively about another person actually hurts your own self esteem. When we judge others we automatically judge ourselves. Here's why...We are usually irritated and annoyed by the faults of others that are similar to our own. We know this on a subconscious level. Because we judge ourselves, we judge others who are like us. They are the ones we talk about the most.
Next time you are upset about another person, and want to say something derogatory, ask yourself - "What about me, or what am I doing that is similar?" Can't figure it out? Hold your tongue, the answer will come eventually when you are ready to receive it.
More Self Esteem Help...
These Self Esteem Lesson Plans for building self esteem, and personal power can help you begin the process of identifying and eliminating self defeating beliefs.
A student of the Toltec path since 1993, Sky Abelar is a Reiki Master Teacher, a skilled E.F.T. practitioner, and the creator of the Self Esteem Guru website. Sky combines ancient mystical, and traditional esoteric teachings with Universal law and quantum physics.
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