Unconditional Love: Are You Ready for It?

Beginning the journey of unconditional love...  Are you ready?

How do we begin this journey when we were brought up in a dysfunctional family?  Since 99% of us were brought up in a dysfunctional family how are we going to recover from the lack of unconditional love.  Rejection from mother is where it begins.  It can begin even before birth. If your father is making a statement to your mother it better be a boy and you know you are a girl you are setting up rejection before you are born.  We have discovered an appalling fact over the last 30 years. More than 70% of the clients we have worked with have been rejected before they were born.

The conflict is not that mother did not want the child.  It was the conditions before birth which causes the rejection.  Every thought, feeling and dialogue with anyone during pregnancy is recorded by the unborn child.  Most people would say that is impossible because the fetus does not think or feel.  This is totally false.  The fetus may not think as we do but the cellular memory is recording every thought feeling, action or attitude the mother encounters during her pregnancy.  It has now been proven through ultra sound that upsetting or traumatic emotions and situations affect the unborn child traumatically. During an argument between mother and father will cause the unborn child to get agitated shown on the ultra sound pictures.  The mothers feeling about the pregnancy will affect the fetus. If she dies not wanting to have a child that will cause disastrous feelings to be imbedded in the child's cellular memory.

If the child is put out for adoption the child then feels he or she is being rejected by their birth mother so they have no value and they are not alright.  They will begin to self reject very soon after they are born.  Issues about trust begin to come up after they are adopted.  Trust is the major issue because the child does not know if they will get rejected again.  A whole article can be written to cover adoption issues.

Since most mothers do not function from Unconditional love there is a major issue here. Very few parents have grown up to the point where they have the seven qualities of love functioning in their life.  They may think they have and try act them out trying to provide affection but it will not fool a child.  Children are very intuitive so they can sense how their mother feels about herself on an internal level.  We must have a congruent attitude and feeling about ourselves consciously and subconsciously.  If not our children will pick up this distorted feeling about ourselves.   You can do all the right actions but if their perception tells the child they are not receiving love you are not getting through to them.

During the first three years most children will act out do whatever they can to get mothers attention all the time.   Mother will get irritated and then get angry which causes the child to feel rejected.  Mother and child are at opposite ends of the spectrum.  Child wants love and acceptance and mother does not know what the child wants because she can not understand the language the child using.  So they hit a wall both becoming frustrated for different reasons.  Since the mother had lost the concept of what love was by the time she was five years she is not able to provide love.  The child is demanding the seven qualities of unconditional love which are Acceptance, recognition, validation, acknowledgment, approval, respect and trust.  The child wants to know mother recognizes them as a person and they are acceptable to love.  The standoff get nowhere so the child then begins to self reject and feel they have no value. So by five years old the child has lost the concept of love and assumes any concentrated form of attention is love.  If they get no attention then they feel love is indifference.

One of the most demonstrative afflictions which are caused by lack of love in childhood is Fibromyalgia yet most people who suffer from this dysfunction will not face the cause nor are they willing to even look at the cause.  All you have to do is look at the social networking sites where these people write about their pain and suffering. Lack of love is the root cause and core issue, yet do these people know it or even want to know it?  We can clear the dysfunctional pattern very easy so we can recover unconditional love in our life.  All we have to do is forgive our mother she did not know what she was doing.  When we can love and forgive her and release all the anger and resentment we can have love back in our life.  Many people will claim that they had a functional childhood, yet we ask their subconscious mind it tells a different story which it has recorded over time.  We can be very self deceptive and bury the truth.  Our conscious mind will stuff negative experiences into denial very easy. When we block our feelings it is very difficult to bring them up again.

From my experience with reactions from posting on social networks, I feel the answer is no.  Some their responses have been “who is this Snake oil doctor on our site or do you really believe your garbage” or even “who is this jerk on our site.”  I even have received e-mail from one of the site managers that I am violating their rules.  I have dropped out of most of them now.  It is amazing to me people want to suffer and refuse to even look at the causes.

It all begins with ourselves, for without self-love, we cannot know what true love can be.  In loving ourselves, we allow the feeling to generate within us and then we can share it to everyone and everything around us!  That which we send out, returns to us in greater measure.  If you have not thought about how you feel towards yourself, physically, mentally, and emotionally, or spiritually, begin the journey that changes everything.  Most of us were from a dysfunctional family who did not pass a functional parenting program on to us. We have the power and ability to stop the vicious circle from recycling from generation to generation.

To begin with you have to go back to birth and find out what your mother felt about you as a child.   Did she want children and specifically did she want you as a child.  The facts are really disappointing when you look at what I have discovered in the last thirty years.   More than 95% of the children were rejected after birth due to a dysfunctional parenting program.  The conflict starts when the baby begins to ask for recognition and acceptance from mother.  She does not know how to show this quality so the baby begins to act out to get the love, affection, recognition and acceptance.

Here is where the breakdown comes in.  If you do not have the seven qualities of unconditional love to give you can not provide them no matter how intent you are in trying to do so.  Children are very intuitive so they can sense how you feel about yourself.  If the parent does not have a functional love program then the child will act as if you are withholding love from them.  Unfortunately most parents operate from a control and authority position rather than from unconditional love program so they demand compliance.  The child questions why they can not get love, recognition and acceptance from mother.   Their only feeling is that mother is not willing to give them love so they feel she is denying love, recognition and acceptance. If the child feels they are not receiving they aren't. Take note of this:  It is not what you do, it is how the child's perception of what you do that causes the conflict.