Most people are hungry for happiness. They're searching for real answers to age-old questions because much of what we've been taught is upside down and backward. For example, when people put on a happy face or try to adopt the attitude of fake it til you make it, even if they gain brief relief from their anxiety, they have to keep putting on a facade.

This resistance to what exists drains the energy they need in order to resolve an underlying issue that must eventually be faced. When we do this, we’re stalling instead of honoring a painful human emotion like anger or fear. We have forgotten that unpleasant feelings are a secret passage to the conditions we crave . . . greater confidence, inner peace and joy.

Buried feelings never die. They resurface, usually at a very inconvenient time. Then we repeat the same uncomfortable emotions and difficult challenges. There is so much happiness available to all of us. There is no need to continue to recycle the same painful events.

Telling someone who is troubled by unhappiness at work, lack of money or a difficult relationship to "Just think positive thoughts" doesn't provide the tools they need to create genuine change. They may repeat positive affirmations for weeks and still struggle with the same conflicts, such as an unhappy work situation, difficult relationships and problems related to a boss or team members.

Trying to force positive thinking can prolong negative emotions and experiences. We all have billions of unconscious negative beliefs, so traditional positive thinking approaches can do more harm than good. An internal battleground rages when we battle, instead of accept, what exists. It takes a lot of energy to hold denial in place. We become fatigued at the very time we need extra energy to take positive action.

Since our beliefs are unconscious, we don't know what the real issues are. That’s why most affirmations don't address what’s keeping us stuck. Plus, we are so much more than our thoughts. Since over 90 percent of what we do and think is based on UNconscious beliefs, I teach people multisensory approaches they can easily use to create profound positive changes.


Many recent studies have explored why men tend to die seven years earlier than women. Researchers noted that most men seldom cry. Even when they allow tears to well up in their eyes, they rarely shed these very precious, innate rejuvenators. It seems that we forgot to tell our little boys that the strongest trees -- those that tend to live the longest -- bend with the wind.

Many women would rather cry or feel hurt than express anger. Just as men were told, “Big boys don’t cry,” most women were conditioned to believe that anger is unbecoming or “not ladylike.” Some women fear anger because they have been in hurtful situations when others were enraged. Many women take pride in the fact that they put the needs of other people before their own but they secretly resent their sacrifice.

Gender-related patterns of hidden anger or sadness are associated with the physical diseases we tend to develop. Recent studies have examined why women tend to develop higher percentages of chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, and arthritis while men have higher percentages of other diseases such as heart attacks.


Feelings control our thoughts and actions, so I help my clients (both genders) comfortably "Use Your Feelings for Healing.” Good news: This doesn't require years of processing negative emotions in psychoanalysis. My clients say they stop feeling victimized by life circumstances because they become empowered to build a life rich in personal fulfillment and productivity.

I help you discover simple, easy ways to deal with negative emotions and experiences the first time they occur. You learn to quickly, easily, and effectively use negative emotions and experiences as TOOLS to build a better life.

I also help you take advantage of your hardwiring. Your brain is eager to search for answers to questions. Your subconscious mind will work 24/7 to discover solutions to interesting riddles and puzzles. That's why I help you structure simple "empowering questions" for your brain to pursue. We program your mind to ensure that you become the empowered person you've always wanted to be.

Here's just one example. When you notice self-talk like, "Why do I have this problem?" or "What's wrong with me?" empower yourself. Ask yourself questions like "How can I most easily meet this challenge?" This simple technique will empower you to use the awesome power of your brain to search the extensive data bank in your mind in a pleasing, productive way. Instead of presenting you with many reasons you are stuck (most of which may be fabricated because your imagination is so talented), your new focus will alert you to potential solutions.

Transforming pain into power becomes effortless with experience. We mine the gold nuggets of wisdom and joy available in our most dismal experiences. We also liberate ourselves from the prisons we create when we judge our circumstances and feelings.

Don’t miss out on the most amazing adventures of your life! Reward yourself with loving relationships, enjoyable work, and spectacular spiritual growth. Discover easy-to-use tools that produce proven results.


© 2011. Permission to reprint this article is granted if the article is in tact, with proper credit given. All reprints must state, "Reprinted with permission by Doris Helge, Ph.D. Originally published in "Transforming Pain Into Power" www.TransformingPainIntoPower.com © 2011.

Author's Bio: 

Asking for help when you feel stuck is a sign of high self-esteem because you're saying to yourself, "I deserve a better life!" Would you like to work with an intuitive coach who will help you overcome the blocks to your happiness and success? Sign up for a complimentary consultation today at www.CoachingWithDoris.com/contact/.

Are you ready for a new life story? Download your free books and podcasts, including "Secrets of Happiness," "Get the Respect & Appreciation You Deserve Now" and "Conquer Your Inner Critic" at www.FreeJoyEbooks.com

Doris Helge, Ph.D., "The Joy Coach" is author of bestsellers like "Joy on the Job," "Conquer Your Inner Critic" and "Transforming Pain Into Power." Discover more at www.CoachingByDoris.com/innercriticfreebies.