The Truth about Aging Gracefully

The Truth about Aging Gracefully

Baby boomers long ago hit the first major speed bump on their collective path: They’re aging and there’s nothing they can do to stop it. Yes, we can use more make-up, hair dye and alpha-hydroxy creams. Yes, plastic surgeons and health related industries are making millions off of the insecurity of this age group. But whether or not we use any or all of the above products and services,we will get older.

In another culture or time period in history, aging wasn’t a problem. Why? Because respect for someone grew with age. This isn’t true today. We live in a youth-obsessed society, one that revels in smooth, unlined, taught skin—not normally found on an over-fifty body.

The Truth

How can we change the way we see ourselves so that we can enjoy the aging process?

First we must tell ourselves the truth about everything – the good, bad and the ugly. What is your truth? Can you remember all the good that you’ve done, all the service that you’ve given—whether to your family, work, spiritual community, or through volunteerism?

In order to move smoothly over this giant speed bump that aging boomers are hitting, a person must look at how much good he or she has created, not how much is lacking.

In order to do this, make a list of all the good things that you’ve contributed during your lifetime. Realize that in another culture or in another time period, these acts of goodness would have been part of your value as an elder. You would have been appreciated for all that you had done during your life and you would have been respected for your wisdom in this part of it. One must be of a certain age to achieve this degree of wisdom. This wisdom comes only through life experiences, not from a college degree. Start appreciating yourself, your gifts, and the wisdom that comes with learning the lessons of life.

A second way to “age with grace” is to let go of what others consider the good, the bad, and the ugly in personal attractiveness.

What is your truth about who you are? Are you buying into the popular culture that “youth is king?” Do you believe you are less than great because you are now becoming more wrinkled, sagging or slower? That is the bad and the ugly—believing in the media’s obsession with youth. When you believe this, you will never find peace and happiness on your path, because you will never grow younger. A hard pill to swallow, especially for us women.

As you do aerobic or weight-training workout, put on your night creams, or have a bo-tox injection, ask yourself: “Why am I doing this?” “Am I trying to be someone 10, 20, or 30, years younger?”

If the truthful answer is that you are trying to be the best you can be at your age, terrific! But if you are trying to look or act younger, your speed bump will only get bigger. You are setting yourself up to be unhappy because you are not accepting yourself as you are. This doesn’t mean you have to go without makeup, cosmetic surgery, or work-outs. It simply means that you need to be aware of the motivation behind the action.

Be confident with how you look now. Most of us have some insecurity. It’s easy to notice. If someone compliments you on your clothing, you might negate what was said by saying, “Oh, this old thing?” That lack of confidence is evident in your inability to receive a compliment. Learn to like yourself for the wisdom you have and for the positive difference you’ve made in so many people’s lives, rather than comparing yourself to the media’s model of perfect looks and youthful bodies.

Another way to age gracefully is to take risks to expand your world. If you are afraid of taking risks, your insecurity shows up by doing what is safe and secure and not stretching beyond your comfort zone. While risk-taking can certainly bring up your fears, it can also help your confidence soar, whether or not you succeed. When you take a risk and are successful, you automatically feel more confident.

When things don’t turn out as expected, you can still learn something important about yourself (one of “life’s lessons” that creates your wisdom). If you try again, you can discover that failure is simply one step along the road to success.

Still another way is to learn something new to open your mind. The simple act of discovering something you didn’t know before raises your level of confidence and joy. What is something you’ve always wanted to find out about or do, but haven’t had the time? Start now to enlarge your knowledge in that area. When you are learning new information, activities, attitudes or behaviors, you are bettering yourself. This too will help with your confidence and help overcome the youth-obsession in the media.

Age with Grace

The journey of aging can be a positive one if you tell yourselves the truth about your exceptional qualities and accept yourselves for who and what you are now. Then you’ve got to let go of the notion that “youth is king.”

Age brings wisdom. There is an internal beauty that comes from what you’ve learned through your life’s lessons. In people who have mastered life’s lessons well, you can see this beauty in their eyes and their smiles. I have seen the most glowing 70, 80, and 90-year-olds, because they have adopted attitudes that promote acceptance of themselves and their wisdom.

When you can accept your age with grace, you can let go of the images being promoted by the media. You can find joy in your lives no matter how old you are when you realize that aging does not mean being “ugly” or “bad.” You can find joy when you realize that aging can be good, because with it comes the inner beauty of wisdom, of learning from each ofy our life’s lessons and accepting yourselves for who you are now.

Aging gracefully, accepting yourselves, and letting go of out-dated images of what constitutes happiness is the best way to eliminate the speed bumps that baby boomers are now facing on the path of life.

Only you can decide whether to enjoy your life or not… It’s up to you.