The need to make peace with the past in order to heal

The majority of chronically ill clients I work with are on some form of medication. Their medical doctors have outlined what they can hope to accomplish, and how their body will respond, if they continue to use the medication; and what to expect if they choose not to take the drugs, or decide to stop taking them. A lot of attention is focused on fixing the illness as it now exists, and rightly so. On the other hand, surely coping strategies are only part of the equation. What led to the illness appearing in the first place, and why is that rarely considered?

As an EFT Practitioner, I am just as interested – if not more interested – in the past. I believe this offers the key to the healing process.

This is very apparent when I start working with a client who is chronically ill. Often, she hasn’t even considered what was happening in her life at the time of, or leading up to, diagnosis; whether she felt stressed or unheard, or whether she had been ‘soldiering on’ for a time before becoming ill.

Initially, when I ask questions about the client’s past, many times it provokes tears, or at the very least, heightened emotions, along with a comment such as, “I’ve already been through all of this with my counsellor/psychiatrist/therapist”. That may be so; yet the very fact she is still so agitated about the past suggests to me that associated negative emotions and limiting beliefs have not been cleared fully, and as a result, are still causing pain, physically, mentally and emotionally.

When we clear negative emotions and painful memories with EFT, it doesn’t mean they are forgotten, as though the mind is wiped clean. Alternatively, it doesn’t mean we reflect on stressful or painful events with a skewed perspective of the truth either. Instead, EFT enables us to consider the past, and the effects it had on us, with neutrality. After using EFT on a specific unpleasant memory, I love it when a client says, “I’m thinking about that time and it’s as though I’m not that person. It was a stressful/sad/painful time, but I’m ready to let it go and move on now.” Through EFT, our perspective shifts and we can feel safe enough to release the past, and assist the healing process.

It’s quite common to think about the past, intending to clear those negative memories and emotions, and become completely overwhelmed. Quite often my clients will tell me that when they use EFT on themselves, they don’t know where to start, or that there are too many events to consider. This is quite natural: with what seems like a mountain of beliefs, memories and emotions to release, where would we start without becoming overwhelmed?

Usually, the most favoured way of applying EFT, the way that ensures permanent results, is to go through each specific memory systematically and clear any negative emotions around the memory. Yet with a ‘mountain’ of events to clear, we might wonder how much time this will take.

As a Certified Progressive Emotional Release Practitioner, I use advanced forms of EFT. EFT is considered a very gentle energy therapy anyway, and when I work with clients, I choose advanced techniques which don’t involve going into specific painful memories. Instead, I bundle the events together and use EFT on the events as a whole.

It is extraordinary how past events, which have negatively affected my client, can be quickly neutralized by applying this particular EFT process. Since learning this technique in 2008, from one of the EFT Masters, the results I have achieved with my clients have been faster and successively permanent. Because of that, I want you to be able to use this bundling technique so that the ‘mountain’ of negative past events can be cleared quickly and effectively, empowering the body to start the healing journey.

This technique works best when applied to similar, repetitive, negative events, e.g. experiencing the same ongoing violent behaviour by someone, hearing similar negative comments from someone, or observing upsetting events again and again. Gather together the messages or events you heard or experienced repetitively in the past (either in your childhood or more recently). Give this bundle a name, such as “Negative lessons from Dad”, or “My childhood traumas”, or “I was never good enough”, etc. Then when you consider this bundle of past events, allocate an intensity rating (‘10’ is the worst, ‘0’ is a feeling of neutrality).

Next, tap the two karate chop points together and say three times:
“Even though I don’t want to get over these past events, I do want to accept myself.”

Follow that by tapping your karate chop point with the fingers of the other hand and say:
“Even though after all these years, I’m still affected by _____________ [insert your bundle name], I want to accept myself today.

Then start tapping each point and at each point, vent. This means verbally express how those past events made you feel. Imagine you are talking to a friend, explaining what happened and how it made you feel. Don’t hold back – really convey your emotions about all of this; the more emphatic, the better!

When you have tapped up and down the points a couple of times, check your intensity rating. Then repeat the process. As the intensity rating declines, start introducing statements as you tap, such as, “I want to let these negative memories go”, “I deserve to move on now”, “I am ready to release myself from the past”, and “For my own sake, I’m willing to focus on my future now”.

When you reach a zero, tap in some positive statements about yourself. These statements will be the opposite of how you had felt in the past, e.g. “I am a good person", “I am resourceful”, “I am confident” and “I am worthy of love”.

Bundling the events from the past, applying EFT to them, and neutralizing them so you feel safe enough to move forward, is essential in planting the seeds of recovery from a chronic illness.