Divorce in many cases is becoming a fast route to poverty.
Not only does divorce often bring a severe heartbreak that can take a vast time to heal. Research shows that people are not healing from divorce.
> The 2nd marriage divorce rate is 53%
> 3rd marriage divorce rate is 72% and
> 4th marriage divorce rate is 84%
Each year about 1.2 million couples get divorced in the US vs 120,000 in the UK, costing taxpayers an estimated $30 billion in Federal and state expenditures (Schramm, 2006).
Each divorce costs society about $25,000 to $30,000 because of the increase in costs of supporting people with housing, food stamps, bankruptcies, problems with youth and other related expenses.
The effect on Children when parents go through a divorce is shocking and should not be dismissed.
In a study of 3,500 children whose parents have divorced. Between the children’s first and third grade, they scored lower in math and had poorer interpersonal skills than those whose parents stayed married.
At high school level, children from intact families have significantly better test scores, compared to children of divorced parents. One example in the study was that by the age of 13 there is an average difference of half a year in the reading ability between children of divorced parents and children from intact families.
Other research cited included a study that found children from divorced families were 26% more likely to drop out of secondary school compared to children brought up in intact families. Moreover, even if a divorced parent re-married this did not remove the negative impact of the initial divorce on children’s academic results.
The divorce penalty extends up to college. Fagan and Churchill reported one study that found only 33% of students from divorced families graduate from college, compared to 40% of those from intact families.
Where children have experienced several break-ups they are ten times as likely to have severe behavioural problems. The emotional damage is long lasting. In late middle age they are still more likely to have major breakdowns than those from stable homes.
This should be a motivation to LEARN from past relationships and see where you can change and never rush into a relationship. Correct healing is VITAL, so that second and/or third marriages don’t fall into a repeat pattern creating a vicious cycle of a broken generation.
Failing relationships cost, for everyone involved. Stress and Trauma is a very serious and a growing issue in work places. People unable to function at work, under so much stress that loss of concentration and lack of confidence becomes evident.
Stress affects one in five of the working population. It is now the single biggest cause of sickness in the UK.
Over 105 million days are lost to stress each year costing UK employers £1.24 billion. But If you leave healing too long, you can really become seriously traumatised and not be able to work for an even longer period of time. Lack of proper support and Lack of appreciation of how big the trauma is, consequently knocks self esteem and confidence.
So what is the REAL COST OF DIVORCE that sometimes gets swept under the rug?
And what are the REAL and CORRECT ways to handle these situations?
Being Educated in the real cost of Divorce is a great step to understanding the most effective and healthy ways to prevent these disturbing Statistics from growing.
Till next time!
Lots of hugs
Adele
Adèle Théron – Author, Change specialist, Family Mediator and Divorce Angel – has an 11 year career in helping people cope with change. She started off in the corporate world helping people adapt to new situations and experiences created by mergers, acquisitions and large software implementations. The change techniques she created have helped thousands of people in 18 global companies worldwide. When she herself experienced a divorce in 2009, she realised that no structured processes existed to help people cope with divorce and she used her change management techniques to develop a revolutionary systemized process called the naked divorce for healing from divorce within 21 steps. Adèle has worked with professional men, women and couples as a family mediator, divorce coach and divorce program trainer, helping people heal from break ups, separations and divorce. Today countless people depend on her process to help them heal from divorce. www.nakeddivorce.com
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