FEAR: False Expectations Appearing Real

Why do we have to experience fear and why is fear present in our lives? I find it amazing that every single person on this planet is experiencing this emotion. I personally believe that in this world there are only these two strong emotions: LOVE and FEAR and that which is love can not be feared and that which is feared can not be loved.

So why is it that we have to experience fear? Most of us are experiencing this emotion at least once a day. It might be fear of being lonely, fear of loosing a dear one, fear of loosing your job, fear of loosing your fortune, fear of aging, fear of death etc. Our fears keep us stuck and they don’t allow us to grow, to evolve and to experience. It is said that most of the things we worry about never happen and despite that we worry, we fear and we choose to live with anxiety and fear about possible outcomes. Because of fear most of us never set goals, because of fear most of us give up on our dreams, on our goals and decide to live a life that is already familiar to them, a life that has nothing spectacular in it. A mediocre life. Because we have so many fears, we choose to procrastinate, we choose to just sit around, to get a job that we don’t even like, a job that makes us curse every single morning when we need to get out of bed and go to work. We hang out with people that we might not even like, we go to places that we hate. This is how we spend most of our life, without us doing anything about what needs to be done. We see no meaning in this life, we see no hope and we curse the day we wore born, we curse and blame everybody around us for our misfortune and unhappiness. It is easier and more comfortable for us to complain rather then get up and take responsibility for what we personally have attracted in our lives.

The sad part is that there are so many people that can’t accept that it is their fault, they can’t accept the fact that there is nobody to be blamed for where they are and what they do but themselves. If you dare to tell such a nonsense they will give you a speech about their whole history and how is it to live in their shoes, to have the family they have, the childhood they had, the bad luck they had and so on. And this is exactly what they believe and see it as being true. There is no other true but their true, and if you dare to tell them something else, then they will make you feel sorry you have opened your mouth. I personally don’t judge them and I feel compassionate toward them and I know that this is where they are at the moment and this is the only truth they hold. They are not to be judged but to be helped. They need our help for they are in pain, for they got stuck and can’t seem to find the way to the light. They were protecting themselves for such a long period of time and they got stuck. They haven’t grow, because you can’t go in two direction at the same time. You either grow or protect yourself from all the horrible things that are coming your way, from all the negativity in your life. This is why I think it is really important to stay away as much as possible from all the negative places, the negative news, negative people, negative thoughts and so on. All they make you do is to want to protect yourself and if you keep protecting you will not grow, you will not develop yourself and you will not be able to find your meaning in life, you will not be able to find your real self, your happiness.

We all fear something, but it’s all about how you look at this fears. If you look at them from a position of pain, despair, pain and depression it will not only do you no good but it will keep you stuck, it won’t allow you to grow. On the other hand, if you choose to look at your fear from a perspective of power, excitement and control you will have so much to win. We can’t escape fear, fear will always be present in our life, so why not use it in our favor? Why not use it as our friend, as a signal that there is an error present in our thinking, in your judgement. You have an inaccurate belief and that belief keeps you in place, that belief is not allowing you to move toward achieving your goals. What you need to do is to try to go back to the root, to the root of this belief that keeps you trapped in fear and change it. Change it so you can go on with your life.

And if you choose to live your life in the same destructive way because you are afraid to step out of your comfort zone, because you are too afraid of what might be waiting for you out there, know that “Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying circumstances that come from a feeling of helplessness.“Susan Jeffers

I remember I read some time ago about a study they made with elderly people, and they asked a great number of old them, if they have regrets about their life and their answer was that they were not regretting what they have done but what they haven’t done. They confessed that they were living with regrets of not taking more risks and living on the safe side, because they were afraid of the unfamiliar, they were afraid to step out of their comfort zone. You see? We learn from mistakes but it’s not necessary for us to make all the mistakes. It is wise to learn from other people’s mistakes also, so we can spare ourselves of the pain. Why not take their advice and start taking more risks? Why not go out there and start living the way it was meant for us to live. Why do we have to fear anyway? “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Roosevelt

Try to discipline yourself in using fear as your friend, as a signal that there is an inaccurate belief somewhere deep down and that belief is not congruent with what you want to achieve, with what you want to do, with who you are. You now have the power to find the error and work through it so you can overcome your fears. Now you know that when fear is present, growth is just around the corner. Fear is just a messenger announcing what is is to come. Look at it as a challenge, as a project and you will see how much fun you will start having along the way. I truly believe that the secret is in how we choose to look at things. It’s all in our hands, it’s all up to us. We are the only ones that can make ourselves happy or unhappy. We are the only one that can shape our lives. Us, and no one else.

Author's Bio: 

I am currently working toward my Business and Psychology Bachelor Degree and on writing my first book.

I have also started working on my blog where I write about ways to help people discover their purpose in life, about ways to live a happier and more meaningful life, how to boost their self esteem and self confidence and other ways to help them grow and improve their lives.

I am a writer, blogger, people builder, soul sculptor and a lover of life.