"One fact of nature is that people have a 'negativity bias': we react to the bad more strongly and persistently than to the comparable good ... One consequence of the negativity bias is that when people's minds are unoccupied, they tend to drift to anxious or angry thoughts. And rumination - dwelling on slights, unpleasant encounters, and sad events - leads to bad feelings. In fact, one reason that women are more susceptible to depression than men may be their greater tendency to ruminate; men are more likely to distract themselves with an activity. Studies show that distraction is a powerful mood-altering device, and contrary to what a lot of people believe, persistently focusing on a bad mood aggravates rather than palliates it." ~Rubin, The Happiness Project

I couldn't agree more! As a coach, much of the work I do centers around the thought life of my clients. Through conversation, activities, and homework, we uncover the thoughts that the person is dwelling on or persistently returning to that are causing them to feel angry, anxious, or immobilized. I’ve certainly been in situations where shifting my focus from unpleasantness has proved difficult – sometimes seemingly insurmountable, so the strategies I share with my clients are definitely ones that I use myself!

It really is a shame that we can have a week of good and then the thoughts or feelings prompted by one bad day, moment, or experience sinks their claws in and refuse to let go without some effort on our parts to eradicate them. I haven’t yet discovered any real strategies for skipping this step altogether, but I have found ways to decrease the duration and clear techniques for shifting away from these persistent, tiring, and limiting thoughts.

If you find yourself stuck in rumination, unable to work past the thoughts that keep running through your mind, I encourage you to schedule https://my.timedriver.com/RYGY2 a free 30 minute discovery session so that you can experience coaching first hand that is geared towards shifting your thought life.

Author's Bio: 


Rachel brings to the table a passionate belief that her clients do not have to remain trapped or confronted daily by the thoughts or behaviors that result from trauma/abuse. Through her own journey of recovery from sexual abuse, she has also gained insight and understanding about what it takes to overcome trauma. This makes it possible for her to relate to and appreciate her clients' struggles intimately.

Based on her desire to foster community, intimacy, and connection, Rachel has dedicated much of her time to understanding relationships and communication. For her, how we are relating to others is crucial to improving the overall quality of our lives. In addition to the lessons she's learned along the way, she has attended various lectures and trainings to further hone her skills for working with clients in these areas.

She developed her Trauma Recovery & Relationship coaching programs based on her learning and personal insights and has been successfully working with clients for the past five years.

Rachel holds an M.A. in Counseling Psychology. With this training in human behavior and cognitive development, she provides a distinct perspective and approach for her clients while using coaching as opposed to therapeutic models