Have you ever noticed that people aren’t really afraid to admit that they are perfectionists? Oh sure, they will sound guilty: "It is not good, but I am such a perfectionist" but they aren’t really. People don’t feel bad telling others that “Jane is such a perfectionist”. It’s like a compliment. It’s like telling someone their too skinny. Would you be ok if you found out someone called you a skinny bitch behind your back? (I love that book btw) Or, if they said: “OMG they have the perfect marriage, perfect children blah blah blah… That’s ok with me just please, don’t say I’m flawed, fat and messy right? But, is implying that someone is a Stepford wife and has a stepford life really that great a compliment? If you think yes, please go watch the movie!
Seriously? I’ve never considered myself a perfectionist, because believe me, I KNOW some pretty serious perfectionists and that aint me! But, what if I took a closer more honest look….... Why else do I put off writing these blogs? Why haven’t I started creating my workbook? I say things like: “Oh, I have to do this or know that first.” And my best one: “I have to wait for warm weather because I will be more creative when I can sit on the porch and write!” Procrastination is a hallmark sign of perfectionism. It whispers loudly: “if you can’t do it perfectly then don’t do it.“ “What if others’ don’t get it?” And what about your never ending quest for the perfect anti- wrinkle cream, the perfect no fail diet? Oh, sorry that’s me too. (BTW, I found it)
OK, OK, I’m not saying that I’m not going to fight the good fight when it comes to the aging thing. I actually have a pretty good time with the girl stuff. Those familiar with my coaching would remind me that it meets my six human needs on a very high level! But, truth be told (read the next line slowly and mindfully) perfectionism is actually the LOWEST standard you can have because it just doesn’t humanly exist. Isn’t it annoying to hear someone say: “Nobody’s perfect.” Why? Because we know it’s true, but we don’t want to accept it. It hits our core; our two universal human fears that we all share, the fear that we are not enough and the fear of not being loved.
So, excuse me now while I get ready to go to yoga where I will find peace. Peace within. Within, where I don’t hide my beautiful lines of wisdom around my eyes nor my little tummy pooch that my husband, lucky for me, finds sexy (my yoga teacher fondly calls hers a food baby luv that). Within, where I commune with God in a state of gratitude for all that’s in my life. Within, where I know I AM good enough. Within, where real perfection lies in us all. Namaste, beautiful perfect souls……
for tomorrow……
I will enjoy a day with mother to celebrate Mother’s Day with a pampering pedicure. Saturday, a day at Kim’s Creations, where I will receive a glorious red mane of curls that seem to magically vanish the years away (Thanks Kim!). Later, I will laboriously clean my office preparing for a fun champagne on ice jewelry party. OK, hey, you know what? I don’t call my coaching biz Live Perfectly, but I do call it Live More. So, I dare you to let go of that defeating world of perfectionism and strive UP! Upward, climbing to the edge of excellence instead of falling down, down, to the lowly curb of perfectionism. Feel the difference! We live, we learn. I’m learning too.
“Come to the edge, he said. They said; we are afraid. Come to the edge he said. He pushed them…and they flew.”

Author's Bio: 

Peg Haust-Arliss, LCSW-R is a Certified Cognitive Therapist and Robbins-Madanes Life Coach residing in upstate NY. She specializes in anxiety treatment and relationship and life coaching in person and via phone/web.