“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple” — Dr. Seuss
Finding the person that you want to spend the rest of your life deserves to be celebrated and honored. When you make the decision to get married it shows how your commitment to one another has evolved, aspiring to be the kind of relationship that can prove itself to be long-lasting and irreplaceable in times of challenge and triumph.
This kind of aspiration, however, requires reflection and an understanding of what a healthy marriage really means. At the end of the day, while marriage provides an official union for two partners, those two people are still in a relationship that requires work.
Even the best relationships need to be tended to with constant attention and a sense of nurture that comes from both people in, an ideally equal way.
Past the classic “honeymoon stage” that follows right after a wedding and once things like jobs or children become the full focuses of you and your partner’s life, it can be hard to step back and reflect on the dynamics that are key to maintaining a healthy marriage.
Here are some signs that can help illuminate the ways in which you can feel healthy within the marriage you have, and will continue to build, together.
1.Communication
As with any relationship, marriage will inevitably faces its up’s and down’s. A marriage can be seen as a team that, without honest discussions, will not be able to tackle those hurdles.
Being able to be open with your partner will not always come easily, yet by being truthful and even vulnerable with one another, your marriage stands a better chance of lasting for as long as possible.
In addition to being honest, it is crucial to have discussions with one another that involve active listening. Sometimes you and your partner will not see eye-to-eye, but the best thing you can do in those situations is allow yourself to listen to where the other person is coming from. By listening, you are showing that you care and that you want to connect.
2.Intimacy
A healthy relationship comes with a deep sense of trust and connection that is usually expressed in both sexual and non-sexual ways. Expressions of this kind of love can be represented sexually, bringing satisfaction and joy as you and your partner grow to better understand and satisfy one another’s physical pleasures.
It can also come in non-sexual ways just by providing comfort to your partner’s emotional needs. This can be as simple as asking them about their day and going out of your way to do something special for them. Sometimes the smallest actions can send the biggest messages.
And even if you've just had a baby, you can still maintain a loving intimacy with your partner! See here to find out more: http://parkavenuerelationshiptherapy.com/relationship-after-baby/
3.Mutual support
Your partner is the one person you want to be able to count on, with no question or doubt. While the two of you are in a marriage with each other, there may be times when one of you is reaching a specific goal or aspiration that requires support from the other person.
Whether or not you can relate to that goal, it is your job as a partner to be there as a support system for your love one. The goals your partner sets for his or herself have the power to bring happiness into your marriage.
4.Compromise
There will be moments in your marriage when you may need to become flexible to the needs or wants of your partner.
While the idea of compromise may initially come with a feeling of resentment, especially if you’re dealing with a situation in which you and your partner have conflicting views, compromise is a crucial element to a balanced marriage.
Compromise is all about putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and being able to sacrifice your needs so that there can be a level of fairness that comes with the decision-making you two will need to handle as a married couple.
5.Adventure
Sometimes the best way to have a healthy marriage is by being willing to take chances and learn new things together by engaging in new experiences.
If your partner suggests picking up a new hobby or traveling to a new destination, try to find a way to be open to new possibilities to spend time with them doing those things. It will allow the two of you to bond and find more to enjoy as companions.
I have over 30 years’ experience in psychotherapy, psychoanalysis and couple therapy, and am a founding therapist of Park Avenue Relationship Consultants (PARC), a group of expertly trained clinicians based in New York City: http://parkavenuerelationshiptherapy.com/.
I am concerned with helping individuals and couples find personal fulfillment in their relationships, drawing on the knowledge and expertise I've developed in all my years as a practitioner. I also help people deal with major transitions in their lives and their relationships, such as divorce, separation, relocation and remarriage.
I am the author of For Richer For Poorer: Keeping Your Marriage Happy When She’s Making More Money, as well as a publisher of numerous scientific papers on psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, and couple therapy. I have also been featured on national radio, Good Morning America and the Today Show.
You get in touch with me on 212.289.0295, or through the PARC website: http://parkavenuerelationshiptherapy.com/contact-us/
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