Techniques of Sexual Harassers

Harassment is rife, certainly in London.
It happens in all environments: from entrepreneurial environments, to very reputable companies, to day to day life. It happens regularly, and it is justified by society.
I have experienced it many times and I have been disgusted by the low level of people, including Directors. I cannot dress or behave the same way that I could in Italy.
Part of the mind here is sick.
As a by-product, in some environments and by some people, the people who get the jobs are the people who are more “sexy” and have less “values”.
It has not been recognized yet, as there are cultural tendencies and beliefs that keep it in place and justify it. It will not change unless those cultural beliefs are recognized, challenged and changed.
Here are some of the techniques that harassers use.
The biggest tool they use is “ridicule”, or as they say, ”humor”, or “banter”:
-to criticize you
-to put you down
-to belittle you
-they say you are too serious
-they say you have too much integrity
-they laugh at you
-they make you “uncool” and often ask support from others in their “banter”
All of this is aimed at making you feel uncomfortable and feel bad about yourself so that you lower your self-esteem and doubt of yourself thinking there is something wrong with you. That would be their trap.
As a coach I have seen it happen many times, particularly if a person is a foreigner. There is a VERY defined technique that harassers do to make foreigners feel bad about themselves and consequently behave in a way that is contrary to their values. And if they do, they will fall out of balance.
Now, London has also a classist society. There are also many cultural biases that are untrue.
So, the second and third tool they use is class and their job.
If people are in a higher class, the way they will harass people will be even more oppressing as they put themselves superior.
They will use patronizing and looking down at people. And because they feel so right, they will have some sort of violent energy in their behaviors.
And if they are in a higher job, like Directors, and the person harassed needs a job, they will be just trapped.
THIS NEEDS TO CHANGE.
We need clarity, we need transparency, we need to change things.
“It is only when we have the courage to face things exactly as they are, without any sort of self-deception or illusion, that a light will develop out of events, by which the path to success may be recognized. This recognition must be followed by resolute and persevering action.” – I CHING, The Book of Changes
Piercarla Garusi 2018 copyright - all rights reserved