Self Esteem - Who is That Mean Girl and Why is She Still Bullying Me?

Self-esteem and self-image make a huge difference in the level of success you can have not only in your business, but it will affect relationships and even health. There have actually been studies that show that low self-esteem lowers your health, as for one thing, it impacts your susceptibility to stress and ineffective self-care.

If we try to go after love by taking care of everyone else but ourselves, we ultimately will not even be as effective in caring for those we love. We as women are also setting an example for our daughters. I have a 17 year-old daughter, and I have seen how the impact of media and peer pressure can cause wear and tear on the psych.

It has been my awareness of the importance of making it a point to develop self-esteem and keep a positive self-image that has spared my daughter all types of emotional drama that I see some of her peers going through. In fact my daughter is often mentoring her friends on getting through their challenges on self-esteem issues and on more than one occasion has told me how grateful she is for the information that I share with her.

We live in a community that has recognized that there is a problem with competition, materialism, and perfectionism. All three of these issues are directly related to an issue with low self-esteem and trying to hide feelings of insecurity. Often trying to find security, love and self-esteem creates that type of messy experience in not only teen-aged girls, but also throughout the lives of grown women.

I see these challenges in my peers all the time. So, what is a major source of this low self-esteem? It's actually negative self-talk. That's right, we have found the "enemy" and that enemy is the "Mental Me". It is the voice in our head that is critical and always comparing and judging.

It is also the voice that may have come from external "mean girls" that we encountered early in life. I managed to avoid a lot of external mean girl voices, as I grew up in an environment that cultivated my aggressive side, so most girls did not mess with me. However, I was my worse critic.

My "Mental Me", the story of who I thought I was, worked overtime. It was a mean girl voice from my childhood still haunting me, one that came from my perception of the rejection I felt from home, standards of those around me, or from comparing myself to others and playing small.

You see we store memories at the cellular level - this is scientific fact. It was really cruel, and ironically, the thing is, I was not particularly mean to other girls. You see at heart, I'm very sensitive about not overtly hurting others. Yes, I have clear boundaries and will say no when I want to, but bullying was never a weakness of mine.

Yet, I "bullied" myself often with "not good enough, not worthy or not pretty enough" all the time. Well, thank goodness for my determined spirit and the realization that the true essence of me, is not the same as what I "think" about me. I learned that I was not my thought and now neuroscience supports that fact that we can stop negative self-talk as we learn how to recognize these stories for what they are - FEAR; Fictitious Evidence Affecting Reality is my acronym for it.

We are able to release this cellular memory and I'm so grateful to know how to do this for myself and to be able to teach my clients how to do the same. Having weaknesses and making mistakes is a part of the human experience. Weakness is just a challenge for you to evolve and grow stronger through.

What you do is not the same as who you are. It's time to stop beating ourselves up and just see life as a process of unfolding. I'm like a beautiful garden, growing my various flowers of gifts and talents. This is just a new way for many to start to view the process of growth and development instead of judging self and others by some self-defeating paradigm. This paradigm's time has come to be evolved into extinction. "Survival of the fittest and lack" from a competitive, judging, lack conscious way, is outdated and is being replaced by "survival by adaptability" and abundance.

Nurturing your Self and getting clear about a strong, powerful self-image and self-esteem, can give you the peace of mind, and ultimately health, happy relationships and business success that is at the heart of a life well lived. What do you think?