School speaker and addictions expert, reflects on his life as a bully

Bullying is growing problem in Canada and the United States. In recent years bullying behavior has spawned needless school violence and adolescent suicides. This article details what the life of a bully is like and how it affects everyone involved.

The life of a bully is not what it seems. On the outside, bullies appear dominant, confident, and sometimes even successful. Bullies come from all types of backgrounds and households. In a lot of ways, just about anyone can turn into a bully. The one thing, however, bullies have in common is actually the complete opposite of what they emulate.

Bullies believe there is something wrong with them. This may be because someone said or did something that they interpreted incorrectly, sparking bad feelings about themselves. Or, the bully came to this conclusion on his or her own. Either way, all bullies believe they are inadequate in some way. To compensate, they participate in bullying behavior in an effort to put other people down so that they can feel superior.

School speaker and bullying prevention program creator, Scott Gallagher was a bully growing up and into adulthood. Gallagher said he first became a bully to compensate for feelings of being weak. To counteract these feelings, he made it his mission to be good at everything he did and take down as many people as he encountered along the way.

Gallagher explained his behavior during an addiction prevention and bullying program. "I was in a new community. My mother and I moved onto this farm and into a nicer neighborhood. The problem is I left all my friends behind me," he said. As
Gallagher met new people; he was sure to secure friendships with those he could manipulate. "The friends I did have, I made sure they were smaller than me, weaker than me so I could feel more superior to them and powerful."

Bullying is a dangerous behavior because in a lot of ways it mimics addiction. Like addicts, bullies utilize a behavior to compensate for feelings of inferiority. For Gallagher, his bullying behavior eventually manifested into a full-blown addiction to illegal drugs. For the same reasons he was a bully, Gallagher, who is now an addictions expert, also became an addict.

In addition, bullying is dangerous because it has such adverse affects on everyone involved. Obviously it is difficult to those individuals who are being bullied. But just like the bully's victims, he too is suffering inside.

In short, the life of a bully begins with internal conflict. While it may not appear this way, the bully is struggling with feelings of inadequacies and searches for relief from these feelings by putting others in an inferior position. Bullying is not only unhealthy for the bully and the bullied, but it can also lead to other harmful behavior such as addiction. In fact, bullying itself can be an addiction.