Rediscovering Your Independence

Relationships bring so many liabilities and amongst them is an addition that is added subconsciously - dependency. Independence comes with a price tag but so does depending on someone. With dependency comes a whole lot of baggage that contains expectations in various modes of intensity.

Although I would refrain from placing relationships under a negative scanner in most circumstances, the reason why I have made the choice to do so today is merely to point out to people who are undergoing tremendous stress and emotional anguish just because they manage to find themselves on the wrong side of depending on someone - that independence is a choice they have in life.

Expectations comes with a myriad of emotions and the closer the person is with you, the higher the levels of intensity and needs. One must remember that it is not always possible to avoid being disappointed because we all come with our shortcomings.

Therefore, instead of working your way out of it, a better option would be to work your way in. A great time to do this would be during hibernation (read previous article).

The person may not be intentionally disappointing you but nevertheless, tempers flare and silent sighs that initially go unnoticed would turn into a gigantic explosion with time.

Should you mention how you feel to the person? Yes. That is highly recommended. In fact, it is best to inform the person of how his or her actions have affected you. At times, the person may empathize and things may turn out in your favor. Yet, do brace yourself for any negative responses too. It helps to know how the person feels too.

There always are lessons to learn and life throws them in the strangest of times. Such situations give us the opportunity to pause and think if there really is a better way to get through without hurting yourself. You may find that realigning certain aspects of your life may actually turn out looking better than the present circumstance.

The change may look unpleasant and uncomfortable at first sight but its easier to choose the direction when you can rather than having to take whatever comes your way. You may want to even plan this change in your mind well before you leap.

People are always going to be full of surprises and you may want to be prepared to face them as far as possible. Trust me, some of them can jump out of nowhere and catch you unaware. These nasty ones can hurt quite a bit and instead of reaching out for your concealer to hide those scars, try to duck before it hits you.

You may want to look at the positive traits that come with independence. Better exposure,freedom,clearer mind,a sense of responsibility,etc.

Relationships can be a lot less stressful when we all learn to become more independent and have less expectations. I am sure that less stress means more comfort and trust. You don’t have to trust people to always meet your expectations. Trust them instead, to trust your ability of being independent when required.