Proximity is Destiny

“Tell me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are.”
--Assyrian Proverb

Do you have a life philosophy? For the past decade mine has been “proximity is destiny.” This somewhat opaque saying speaks to me because it reinforces a basic fact of the universe – we become what we think about most of the time. And we tend to think about that which surrounds us, either in place, time, order or relation.

I’ve noticed most self-development literature tends to overlook the importance of proximity. In fact, if you Google the phrase only 98 references pop up. That’s a shame because proximity is the basic tenet that popular “Law of attraction” thinking is based on. Let’s face it, human beings reflect their surroundings and those they associate with most often. If you work in a great company with lots of opportunity, your career is likely to grow. If you work somewhere with little opportunity, it’s unlikely to happen, at least there.

I’m not saying it’s impossible to be radically different than that which surrounds you. I’m just saying it takes more energy and more time. Beyonce Knowles espoused this philosophy in a recent Elle magazine interview, when she said, “If I don’t want to be like you, I don’t want to be around you.”

• TIP: Take a moment to consider the role of proximity in your life. Write down a list of who you spend most of your time with, both personally and professionally. Do the people on this list reflect the person you want to be? If not, what small things can you do to cultivate new relationships that better reflect your ideal future self?