Think for a second or two about the people you consistently spend most of your free time with. We all have a certain social groups we connect with regularly, but do we really understand the effects of these relationships?

Ask Yourself

“What are these relationships doing to me?”

I know for years I would always connect with the same faces each week and justify the time spent together for many reasons, even though I knew deep inside the friendships were forced and not healthy:

-I have been friends with them since elementary school
-I work with them
-They are a cousin, uncle, etc!
-I played on the same basketball team with them for many years
-We are members of the same networking group
-I need this relationship for potential career advancements
-They are always hanging out with a close friend of mine
-I don’t really know why I hang out with these people, maybe I’m just bored and lonely!

For years we have invested so much time and energy into relationships that really served no purpose in our lives, but maybe we keep participating in these friendships with the wrong motives like “looking cool”, or to fitting in with a specific group. It is scary to tell yourself that you need to say bye-bye to old friends and take responsibility for the impact of these connections. No body wants to rock the boat and point fingers, singling out people from their lives. This healthy life-choice shakes up the norm, and nobody likes that right?

It is a weird dichotomy, the concept of “friends” hold certain traits like, compassion, loyalty, communication, support, guidance, altruism, and encouragement, and yet most of the relationships I use to take part in lacked this kind of nourishment.

We all stand on guard of our real feelings and uphold friendships because we want to be a part of, but really we are not connecting to one another except in the physical realm. It’s the idea that “we are there, but not really there”. We are present in the physical body, connecting to each other through activities or social interaction but we are missing the juice when it comes to real friendship! The masks remained fastened and we continue on our stoic journeys without solidified bonds. ”I know think this all has to change! But where do I start?”

Tell Yourself “OQP – Only Quality People”

Be aware of how certain relationships make you feel. If they haven’t been working, let go and move on.

Select people that bring positive vibes into your life. These people just seem to have that life-force and twinkle in their eye that you may not understand. Don’t worry their zest for life is contagious. Just make the connection and you will understand shortly.

Connect and maintain friendships that are mutually beneficial. You want to maintain relationships that allow for support and compassion, both parties need to grow and better themselves from the experience.
Invest time with peers who want the best for you, and you trust their intensions. Question your motives for the friendship. We are surrounded with Grade-A manipulators, so be aware of what kind of results the relationship is rewarding you with.

Associate with individuals who hold similar moral compasses. Healthy people do not put in question the rights or well being of others. They are not to be mutually exclusive!

Contribute to social groups that focus on development and stride towards goals. So often we can get stuck in life and our self critic gets the best of us. When you have an established base of friends that are reaching toward goals, they emit a certain motivation that we all need to get through the tough times.

Remember the idea that “birds of a feather, flock together.” You become a product of your environment whether you want to believe it or not! So take some responsibility for your life and let go of unhealthy connections. You deserve to interact with incredible people and will be amazed of how much more you get out of life when you start to establish these solid relationships!

Thinking it might be time to let go of some of your old friends ?

Author's Bio: 

Kael Ranschaert –

Mindset expert Kael Ranschaert is the founder of He is creating a place for people to gather and share ideas on personal development. Follow Kael on Twitter @GrowthGuided for messages of motivation, inspiration, and knowledge.