My Husband Raises His Voice At Me: How To Get My Husband To Stop Yelling

My Husband Raises His Voice At Me: How To Get My Husband To Stop Yelling

Relationships can be so much fun. It's amazing how much you can enjoy the company of another person in this thing we call life. It is great to go through life with a friend or partner.

The flip side to having a partner is you know there will be times you disagree. And during those times you would profit more by learning how to fight with your partner and yet not lose the closeness you have with each other for an extended period of time.

There is no way to be in close proximity to another person, have interactions and eventually not disagree with each other (unless you work in a graveyard or a morgue). This is because we are all so different. We see live through a different set of eyes. So quite naturally we will have disagreements.

However, these don't have to turn into arguments. It is possible to disagree without being disagreeable. Just use the following suggestions;

1) Don't go to bed angry - it is so easy to have a knock down drag out fight and then storm off into bed. You lay with your back to the other person or if you don't happen to live together you slam the door as you make your exit. These departures from a heated discussion at night can make sleep very hard to come by. Instead talk to yourself so that you are not just reacting to what is going on around you.

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2) Don't criticize an opinion just because it differs from yours - If you don't agree, so what? Does it really matter? Let people say what they think even if their thinking is a bit off. Maybe the more you examine other's opinions you may find you are the one who is not right.

3) Don't fight in public - leave these heated discussions in a place where you can repair them privately. If you fight in public you run the risk of doing things that you find very hard to take back and be forgiven.

4) Don't belittle or embarrass- say things that you won't have to apologize for later (you are so stupid it's ridiculous)

5) Apologize without being asked - finally, when you are wrong, be man or woman enough to admit it to yourself and to your partner. Go to them with a humble attitude and ask them to forgive you. This can go a long way towards mending broken fences.

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We did not set out to give marriage advice to any couple, but we had heard just about every imaginable reason why men and women were giving up on their marriages and it was breaking our hearts. You see, my husband, Dale, and I nearly gave up on our marriage 20 years ago when things got a little rough. Our communication had broken down and we were feeling a lot of anger and tension in our relationship.

Giving up on our marriage seemed like the easiest thing to do, but after ten years of marriage and two children, it just wasn't that simple. We were forced to deal with a lot of issues before pursuing a divorce. And what a blessing it was that getting a divorce wasn't easy. It forced us to do a lot of soul searching and receiving marriage advice from others that eventually led us to rekindle the love and passion in our own marriage.

While we are not professional marriage counselors, we try to guide and lead struggling couples through their difficulties so they can save their marriage and experience the same joy that we have over these last twenty years.

It would have been a huge loss for Dale and I and our two sons if we had thrown it all away because we were not willing to fight to save our marriage. With that as a foundation, I want to share with you some basic facts that we have found about successful marriages. First, we have found that most marriages go through some very difficult times; difficult moments that could easily lead to divorce. The couples who survived long-term did not give up; instead they dug in and fought to save their marriage and their families.

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So a couple of qualities you must have for a long, successful marriage are perseverance and commitment. You must be able deal with the daily problems that come along in life, including:

• Money struggles
• In-laws
• Job stress
• Raising a family
• Disagreements/differences of opinion

It does not matter whether you are a newlywed or a couple who has celebrated their Silver or Golden anniversary. There is not one generation or age group who has not had to deal with this set of problems and much more. The couples whose marriages have survived and thrived understand that the key ingredient to long-term success is commitment to their partner and their marriage. They understand that like everyone else in a marriage relationship, they know their marriage will have challenges and up & down moments. Many long-married couples are of the opinion that young newlywed couples today just don't try hard enough. They see younger couples giving up too soon after a disagreement or argument.

Do you remember the words below or something very similar from your wedding ceremony? I, Debbie, take you Dale, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part. Long-married couples, in particular, seem to take their marriage vows very seriously. They meant it when the said that they are going to love, honor and cherish their mate. If you are truly committed to your marriage and spouse, you must act on this marriage advice by doing a simple, but vital personal assessment of your marriage. Ask your self these questions:

• Are you ready "to love and to cherish" each other?
• Are you really committed to being there for your spouse "for better or worse"?
• Are you willing to stick it out through the financial ups and downs of "for richer or poorer"?
• Are you going to try hard to make the relationship work "in sickness and in health"?
• Are you committed to staying with your mate "until death do us part"?

No one else can put this marriage advice to work for you and do this evaluation for you. Only you and your partner can answer these questions to determine if you are committed to a life-long marriage. While you may be at a place right now where you and your mate are not on the same page and you seem to be struggling more now than thriving in your relationship, you can turn this ship around and get it back on course if both of you are committed. A great person once said that, "Success is a journey, not a destination." So are you ready to put this marriage advice to work for you in your marriage by being committed to this Success Journey?

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Q: "I'm getting married in a month and want to know why so many marriages end in divorce. What should I look out for? How can I prevent divorce?" ~Sandra, Houston TX

A: Understanding why a marriage or relationship might fail can alert couples to their own unique relationship vulnerabilities. These are not meant to be doom-and-gloom predictions about anyone's marriage, but rather information to help you identify potential marriage problems that can arise and that should be addressed.

Let's look at five reasons why a marriage or relationship might not survive.

Marriage help: 5 reasons marriages end in divorce

1. The marriage or relationship started for the wrong reasons.

The motivation to marry or start a committed relationship was an act of escapism, not love. For instance, you married to flee an abusive household, or to avoid feelings of loneliness, or to cover up the pain of a failed first marriage. While this doesn't mean your marriage is destined to end, it does pose some challenges.

Preventative Measure: For this marriage to survive, it's important to separate the person you married from the reasons you married him/her. This will allow you to break the negative associations and really "see" the person you now call "husband" or "wife."

2. The couple has grown apart over the years to such a degree that there are no longer any common interests.

The "we" of the marriage or relationship has been neglected to such a degree and for so long that you no longer recognize the person you fell in love with. When this occurs, the relationship may feel like it offers little meaning to your life and the danger is that you'll seek to get all of your needs met outside of the relationship.

Preventative measures: Make the commitment and take the necessary steps to keep your marriage/relationship a priority-even when life and competing priorities seem to get in the way.

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3. Years of unresolved conflicts and deep emotional wounding have shattered the very fabric of the union.

Chronic defensiveness, resentments and deep emotional pain caused by a relationship that has spiraled out of control have invaded the union and dissolved the foundation of mutual love and respect.

Preventative measures: Have those uncomfortable discussions to make sure important issues don't go underground where they can fester. You may need to seek professional help to get things moving in the right direction.

4. One or both parties unconsciously repeat unhealthy relationship patterns from their family-of-origin.

We're all vulnerable to repeating patterns from our past. When unhealthy relationship patterns predominate (e.g., acting abusive just like your father did), combined with an unwillingness to examine these destructive dynamics, one's marriage is placed at serious risk.

Preventative measures: Reflect on your parents'/caregivers' relationship and think about how you want to be different from them in your role as a husband/wife or partner. Each day make a conscious effort to stop negative family-of-origin patterns.

5. The marriage or relationship is built upon expectations that cannot support the realities of a committed relationship.

We all hold expectations about what a marriage or romantic relationship should look like. When overly romanticized dreams predominate (my spouse should always make me happy), you're likely to feel disillusioned and not commit to the work that all marriages/relationships require.

Preventative measures: Examine the expectations you hold about marriage and share this with your spouse-discuss any differences in perspective that may exist between you and then take a hard look at which expectations feel realistic and which are likely to buckle under the day-to-day realities of life.

While the above list isn't exhaustive, it does capture some of the most common, essential reasons marriage problems arise and why an initially loving, committed relationship can fail to thrive over the long haul. Don't forget to take the preventative measures needed to keep your marriage or relationship healthy.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

Click here to save your marriage and rebuild it into a more connected, satisfying relationship.

Do you find understanding men to be a pain in the butt? If you do, hopefully this article will shed a little bit of light on how to get us to feel more affection for you via the art of surprise.

We guys are just as human as anybody else. We get set into a routine. A few months pass by, we're still in that routine. It's just a state of comfort that we tend to get used to.

It's no secret that women are usually the ones who make the effort in the relationship. That should include a little bag of surprises to keep things fresh.

There are heaps of "tips and tricks" where guys are taught to try and be more romantic or dashing, but where's the advice for women? I'll tell you where, right here! This is the sort of surprise that a guy would love.

Instead of watching another movie, play a video game with us. Girls who propose a rock off in Guitar Hero are few and far in between.

Instead of cooking dinner, taking us out for deliciously greasy and unhealthy fast food would be a welcome change.

I'm not saying that these are tried and true methods to get a man to fall head over heels for you. All I'm saying is that if you change the routine up a little bit; it could do great things for your relationship.

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The art of surprise really is something that is worth mastering. There's a few great things about constantly being able to surprise your man:

1. You're putting in the effort consistently (it shows that you care),

2. This will encourage him to try to do the same (it shows that he cares, since he's putting the effort in as well), and

3. It keeps the relationship fun (the most important aspect of having a strong relationship).

Remember when you first started dating your man and everything was a new experience? The most successful couples keep this "brand new relationship" feeling for their entire relationship by having these little spontaneous surprises sprinkled here and there.

What can you do that will surprise your man? If you're not sure, here's a quick tip: whatever you're currently doing, try and do something completely "opposite". I know it seems rather simplistic, but we men tend to be a simple bunch.

Remember that understanding men is a continual learning process. We men might appear simple on the surface and while we are usually, there are parts of us that take a bit of digging deeper to understand.

Now Listen Carefully-

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