My Husband and I Sleep In Separate Rooms: Husband and Wife Sleeping In Separate Rooms

My Husband and I Sleep In Separate Rooms: Husband and Wife Sleeping In Separate Rooms

Lack of intimacy can destroy relationships although some of you guys may think that sex is not everything in a relationship. But deep down inside you, you will feel that there is something missing without intimacy. Then, you will start to have negative thoughts in your mind, which will affect your relationships in some way or another.

When there is a lack of intimacy in a relationship, you will feel unattractive, rejected, unfulfilled, and lonely at times. You will then start to question yourself more and lose confidence in the relationship altogether.

Things will just get worse as affairs and betrayals will start to emerge due to your lack of confidence and loneliness. These things will most probably lead to break-ups of relationships and marriages.

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Love making is one of the best ways to spice up intimacy of a couple so as to maintain the passion and fire in the bedroom. But to my surprise, a lot of couples know that love making is important in a relationship but yet when they feel that the passion and fire between them are not as hot as last time, they just never do anything at all.

They think that things will get better sooner or later. Do not be surprise that things will just stay the same, or ever get worse, unless you do something about it. Most of the times, when love making gets too boring between you and your partner, the both of you may just stop having it altogether. This will definitely affect your confidence and mood for work.

Therefore, lack of intimacy can destroy a relationship, no matter if you think that love making is not everything in a relationship. Do not let intimacy disappear from your relationship, spice things up and bring back the fire to the bedroom once again.

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When asked why their marriage is on the rocks, many couples often state that they have just grown apart. The reality of that statement just means the individuals no longer relate to or appreciate each other as they once did. This damage often occurs over a period of months or years and it is not even realized until it becomes a serious issue, which often escalates the marital problems even further.

It is the purpose of this article to expose some of the underlying reasons for "growing apart" with hopes that this knowledge can prevent the situations from happening.

1. Lack of communication. Every day life is moving at such a fast pace these days that it seems people are forgetting to "stop and smell the coffee" or rather stop and tell their spouse that they love them and appreciate them. Or even simpler than that, they forget to mention that they are cooking dinner on a certain night or are planning to mow the yard later. Saying those few words can lessen the stress of every day responsibilities and create a happier home and relationship.

2. Too much talking and not enough listening. Okay, so maybe people do say some of the little things above but your partner may be too busy to remember. This is why listening often plays a more important role than talking. I mean, what's the point of talking if no one is listening? The next time you and your spouse are talking, listen to what he or she is saying. If it happens to be, "Hey, I'm cooking dinner Thursday night," you can say something back like, "Great! What are we having?" The next most important step is remembering your plans! If your memory tends to fail you, write it down. A Post-It on your work surface or a note in you day planner will work fine; just as long as you see it daily so when Thursday afternoon comes, you'll know where you'll need to be in a few hours.

3. Lack of attention. This ties in with listening to your spouse. Sometimes people hear things and it "goes in one ear and out the other." But try this... if your spouse is telling you about a project either work related or something he or she is taking on personally, ask him or her about the progress a few days after hearing the news. Once the subject comes up enough, your spouse will want to tell you something new that they learned. Even if you have no interest or just no clue about the matter, you can still give him or her the attention they deserve. If you don't know what to say, a simple, "Wow; you learn something new everyday," or "I'm proud of you," will be sufficient. I'm sure a positive response is all the other person is looking for, especially if they know that you're not familiar with the topic.

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4. Lack of affection. The type of affection mentioned here isn't necessarily pertaining to physical affection. If you're not really the "touchy-feely" type, compliments work just as well! If you haven't given one in a while, now is a great time to start. Take notice of a physical feature your spouse really likes about him or her self. Tell him or her how something they wear or a certain color really accentuates that feature. I'm sure he or she will be so happy you noticed that you'll at least get a hug or a smile out of the deal. I wouldn't advise complimenting on a feature that your spouse is self-conscious of because chances are, he or she will think you're just saying it to say it and that you really don't mean it. You can also compliment your loved one on how smart he or she is. This will be especially easy if they're knowledgeable in a certain area. Obviously they like that topic or they wouldn't study it so much. Tell him or her that you're impressed or amazed by the amount of information they know. It will not only boost the confidence of your spouse, but yourself and your marriage!

5. Lack of connection. Lately, with all the stress on individuality around us, we don't take the time to bond with our peers. This is especially true for a career oriented married couple. Both husband and wife work separately all day and when they come home, they're still in that individual mind-set. Your spouse is there to comfort and support you so depend on him or her a little. It will show that you're capable of taking care of yourself all day but still like his or her company to rely on after a rough day alone. Help each other out by sharing duties or trading duties that night. Yes, everyone gets tired but if you notice you have a little bit more energy than your spouse, pick up the slack for him or her that night. They will appreciate the deed and will or should return it another night when you are not feeling up to your end of the chores. Remember marriage is about two people joining lives. You may be separated all day but when you're together, you represent a two-person union that depends on itself to run smoothly.

It is the belief of this author that applying these suggestions on a daily basis will indeed help a troubled couple regain the closeness and magic their relationship once had. The results won't happen overnight but neither did the problems. Patience and understanding are key factors here but the benefits will far exceed the effort.

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It is true - we all married the wrong person! If you haven't realised it yet, you might in the future. Having said that, it is not all doom and gloom. Marriage is still worthwhile and if you accept and expect that sooner or later you might doubt your original decision and wonder what you are doing in this relationship, you will be easier going with yourself and your partner. Remember: the doubt is a transient stage and will come and go, just like the 'happy and so in love' moments.

Psychiatrist and author Scott Haltzman, MD, who has written The Secrets of Happily Married Men and The Secrets of Happily Married Women and The Secrets of Happy Families, says in truth, we all married the wrong person.

At the beginning there was love...

When you enter into a relationship you are naturally full of the 'oh so in love-hormones' which help you delete and minimize certain attributes that, under normal circumstances, would be more difficult to accept. You literally have tomatoes on your eyes and ears and hear yourself speak about your partner as 'finally being the one, a total match and the soul mate you've been waiting for all those years'. Your friends might even point out those incompatibilities, if they dare, but you've just dismissed them all.

... but we were never really a good fit

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

Couples in crisis sometimes come to the conclusion that they were never a good fit. This is generally a sign of pent up frustration and resentment at not having had our needs met over a period of time. In addition, the more resentful partner often feels an unconscious disappointment in self of not having taken action earlier to change the situation. Having been in a relationship or marriage for a number of years means that you have already been successful. The relationship might just have 'worked itself out' rather than 'it's no longer working'.

Seeing the other for what they really are

At the moment when you chose to marry your partner you did it based on the information and experiences you had with them up to that time. When a crisis point arrives, you have had all the intervening time to add to this pool of information and especially to add more realistic information. Once you drop the tomatoes from your ears and eyes, you start to see your partner in a more realistic light, which isn't always confirming what you previously believed. On the other hand you need to remember that you are only human too and that your partner is also seeing more realistic points about you, which he/she was probably blind to before.

Living in today's society allows us to end one relationship, if we are truly no longer compatible. I'm sure that the ability of both male and female to stand on their own feet and not being dependent on the other (as for example 100 years ago) has increased the statistics on divorce.

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Marriage is like a tricycle. One of the back wheels is the mental (emotional) area in marriage, another back wheel is for the physical (sexual), and the front wheel, which is the leader, is for the spiritual aspects of the marriage. If one of these facets of marriage is missing, what is going to happen? The marriage is going to be unbalanced and topple over.

Did you know that your feelings affect your sexual appetite? For instance, if you're feeling bitter, resentful, or guilty towards your spouse, you won't feel like having sex with them. Should we deprive our spouse of sex because of how we are feeling? I don't think so.

It is not right to deny our spouse the sexual fulfillment that marriage so much needs just because we're mad at them or we're having a bad day. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Feelings of bitterness are caused by an unforgiving attitude. Please go back and read my articles on how to forgive properly. Jesus said we are to forgive seventy times seven...forgiving properly means that we don't harbor the pain anymore, and that means we don't bring up the issue with our spouse again! Period!

Ladies, we are in control when it comes to the sexual aspects of the marriage. Learn to use that to your advantage. After lovemaking is the best time to discuss any other issues that are bothering you. Be nice, and express yourself lovingly and appropriately. Don't nag and complain.

Many couples don't discuss their sexual preferences with each other. But this is not the time to be shy either. It's very vital to the sexual health of the marriage that couples express their pleasures in the bedroom arena. Both need to know and be acquainted with the zones and parts of the body, which are capable of producing pleasurable sensations.

Below are a few guidelines to take note of for a great sensual and passionate marriage, even after ten, twenty, and more years of marriage!

1. Allow spouse the freedom to be who they are. Be understanding and considerate of their feelings at all times, not just in the bedroom.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

2. Communicate any sexual issues and problems that have developed in the marriage. Let go of sexual inhibitions and express your pleasures in the lovemaking arena. Ladies, men like to give pleasure to their wives, so now is your chance to speak up and tell him what you like.

3. Thank God everyday that you are married to a person who is willing to discuss and express these issues with you.

4. Always be loving and available. Sometimes we women just aren't in the mood. But it doesn't matter; give yourself to your husband anyway, unless for a very good reason, such as, being sick or going through menstruation.

5. Create an appealing bedroom that you both like. Redecorate it with tasteful decor that you both have picked out.

6. Make yourself attractive and pleasing to each other. Ladies, buy yourself a new skimpy nightgown, and men buy some bikini briefs. If you already wear that kind of under clothing, buy some silky cartoon boxers - something different that you wouldn't normally wear.

7. Be romantic and loving. Light some aromatic candles for a sensual and romantic atmosphere.

This is for the ladies reading this. Men NEED to have sex. Some men like it everyday, others every other day, while others maybe two times a week. Be ready when your husband wants to have sex. Don't reject your husband for just any reason; make him feel loved and good about himself. Men need and love this kind of sensual pampering.

When we reject our husband, that is when they begin THINKING about looking elsewhere to find fulfillment, and we don't want that, do we ladies? So often we take our husband for granted in this area, and don't realize the importance of sexual fulfillment for the man in our life. Don't give him any reasons to look elsewhere, take care of him!

This is for the men reading this. The most important thing you can do for your wife is don't rush into the sex act in 30 seconds. Come on now, be more considerate. You know it takes your wife a bit longer than you. Tell her how much you love her, and rub her all over first; wherever she likes to be rubbed. Learn to be more patient in the bedroom, your time will come soon enough.

Bottom line, do not deprive or reject each other! A happy sexual relationship involves right attitudes. It is God's will that married couples enjoy sexual relations with each other. Find out what wheel is missing in your marriage and fix it.

"The wife's body does not belong to her alone, but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by MUTUAL consent and for A TIME, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so Satan will not TEMPT you because of your lack of self-control.
1 Corinthians 7:4-6

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.