My difficult father. I realised that my dad was a controlling and selfish, demanding fault finding man when I reached the age of twelve. I could never do anything right. One day when I was standing in the kitchen stirring the custard he shouted at me, grabbed the spoon and told me that I was doing it all wrong as the custard should be stirred the other way. Another time I wanted to do some weeding in the back garden - I love flowers - and he shouted and screamed at me and threatened to hit me to kingdom come. His idea of a good boy was someone who was quiet and just sat there, who obeyed his every command and never had an original thought or feeling. Unfortunately my grandparents were the same and so was my mother, so it took me some time to realise that this was not a normal family. It is only when you meet other families outside your own that you realise this.

Things escalated as I got older. When I Was fifteen my father threw my mother out, because he had found out that she had been having flings with other men while he was at work. In a way you could not blame him for throwing her out but you also could not blame her for having flings, because whenever dad was not at work he would just sit there staring at the television not speaking, unless someone did or said something he did not like and then they would get threatened with violence or shouted at.
He never ever took her out anywhere, and she was stuck in the house alone most of the day.

After we left, because mum was thrown out, he told me he never wanted to see me. That I was disgusting son, that I was unlovable and a waste of space. He then moved and said he did not want me to know his phone number or address. This was quite a blow and maybe the cruelest thing anyone has ever said to me. It still hurts to this day.

People who have nice, normal families have no idea of how lucky they are. To be loved, to be respected, to be cared for, talked to, cuddled, is all I ever wanted. The trouble with this is that you grow up lonely and you have a sort of aching inside yourself. You are then searching for someone to fill that void. In your effort to find someone you often latch onto unsuitable people. People who sense you are vulnerable and want to take advantage, unreliable people, people who pretend something, people who are also damaged and hurt but show it in different ways.
Your search starts off with hope and promise and has so many disasters along the way you become more and more disillusioned and damaged. Until I found a lovely, caring lady who works as a psychic, therapist and adviser who has helped me to find myself, be more self aware, more confident, more able to navigate my way through life and to find love. Until then I had given up hope of ever being in any sort of normal relationship or being accepted for me.

As a result I am now with a lovely lady and we have a three year old child. I feel complete. Someone loves me and I love them. A case study from

Author's Bio: 

Beth Shepherd 40 years of experience. Tried, tested and trusted, recommended by experts, professionals,newspapers and magazines. Psychic, therapist and adviser.