My Boyfriend Wants Space How Long Should I Wait: He Wants A Break How Long Should I Give Him

Your relationship has been very happy, as far as you know. You and your boyfriend have a lot of fun together and the two of you cannot seem to have enough of each other. When the two of you do argue, the kissing and the making up is always sweet.

Then, suddenly, he tells you that he wants his space and he wants to cool off with you. You were shocked when you first heard him say it, and now you are in panic. What in the world will you do?

Here is what you should do.

Give Him What He Wants

No matter how hard you cry or beg or whine about it, he will not change his mind once he has made it up. Any complaints or violent objections from you will only make things worse.

So, instead of nagging or tearing up about your boyfriend's request for the two of you to cool off, just let him be and give him what he wants. Saying it in a casual way would actually throw him off and make him have second thoughts about the cool-off.

Instead, he would wonder why it seems that you are fine about him wanting some space to himself. It is also highly likely that he might end up feeling jealous enough not to want to leave you alone.

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Stay In Touch

Even though the two of you are in a cool-off period, you should still try to keep in touch with him. A short email, a brief phone call, or maybe a text message every once in a while is enough. It will make him remember that he has a girlfriend waiting for him to come back.

While you are at it, drop a line that reminds him how much fun you have had when you were still together. That will make him long for those times and make him eager to come back to you.

Watch the Signs

While you go through the motions of keeping in touch with him, keep your eyes peeled for whatever signals he may be dropping. These signals will be your cue on whether you should continue pursuing him or simply move on.

If your boyfriend is showing signs that he is warming up again to you, tell him - casually, mind you - that you miss him. When you say that, do not make yourself appear confused or in distress about him being away. If he tells you he misses you too, rejoice because he will come back soon.

But if your boyfriend still acts coldly towards you, it is time for you to explore alternatives. It may be time to change to more honest and aggressive tactics, or it may simply be time to break up and move on.

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So you want to know how long to wait before contacting a boyfriend after breakup?

Well first of all, I just want to say that I know how you feel. My girlfriend left me after 3 years together and I was crushed. I felt sad, depressed, and angry all at the same time. All I could think about was how much I missed her and wanted to talk to her but I knew if I did it too soon I would have no chance of getting her back.

So here's what worked for me to get my girlfriend back and you can do the same thing with your boyfriend!

First, make sure you don't contact him AT ALL for at least 2 weeks. This will give him the space he desires and allow him to do his own thing for a while. Many times, this time away from you will make him miss you and he may even contact you before this time is up.

During this 2 weeks, you should make the most of the time that you have. Do anything and everything you can do to make yourself better, both inside and out. Start working out. Get a new hairstyle. Get a tan. Get a makeover. These things will improve your appearance as well as give you a boost in self confidence.

Next, get out and do things. Hang out with your friends. Meet new people. Just have a great time in general.

Now even though you want to know how long to wait before contacting a boyfriend after a breakup, the best thing to do is not contact him at all. Try to find a way to run into him casually. This will do two things at once. Number one, it will give you a chance to talk to him without making it seem like you were trying to. This will make you look more independent and give the impression that you're over the breakup. And two, this will give you the opportunity to show off the new you.

Whenever you do see him, try not to talk long. Just tell him hi and act like you have something else you have to be doing. This will really get his head spinning!

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Your high hopes have just been crushed. You loved being with him and now you are faced with being alone. What do you do? First off, no drama, keep a cool head. Easier said than done, but a cool head is one of your best weapons in getting though this when he says he wants to break up. When it's all said and done you will be so glad later that you remained calm. There is nothing worse than looking back and realizing you lost all of your dignity with your behavior in a break up.

Don't break down in front of him. This does not bring him back, it only makes you appear weak. A man will look back and respect the woman that held it together. The sobbing woman only appears pathetic and makes him uncomfortable because he knows he can't make her feel better. No begging or pleading or bombarding him with a million questions of what went wrong. You can't hold a man hostage to you when he wants to break up. Words will not get him back ever.

Don't listen to that advice of others that tell you to keep contact or remain friends. He gave up that right when he said he wanted to break up with you. If you remain friends with him, his transition becomes smoother and yours remains more difficult. When he says he wants to break up, let him go. Don't chase after him. Do you want a man who doesn't want you? You are worth way more than that. Chasing a man will not get him back.

A man does not define you. If he wants you or not does not determine your worth. You are the prize and if he gave you up, have the attitude that it's his loss. Pick yourself up and don't let him see you sweat. I know many a woman who has cried, begged and pleaded, only to regret it later on. You want his last memory of you to be one with your head held high and dignity intact.

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You cannot just switch off and pretend that your break up has no effect on you - this is impossible. Your ex knows that you are crying your eyes out and are deeply depressed. However, it is the way you cope in this situation that matters. If your ex is used to you throwing tantrums, locking yourself in your room for days, and generally shutting yourself off from the world in a crisis, THIS is where you can use reverse psychology to change your situation very quickly.

You see, using reverse psychology simply means to do things in exactly the opposite way to what is expected of you. Yes, you are feeling really down in the dumps at the moment, but attract your ex's attention in a positive way by reacting totally differently to the way you normally do. Don't sit around moping at home - get out, be with family and friends, and do things that will make your ex change his/her attitude about you - fast.

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There are two benefits to doing this. First of all, it will have your ex sit up and take notice of you in a positive way, and secondly, it will actually help you to heal a lot faster after the break up as well. If you have let yourself go since the break up, and took like a total wreck, do something immediately to change this - you will feel so much better when you look good. Looking and feeling better will give you a much better chance to get your ex back.

When you are with your friends, even though you might have the urge to badmouth your ex, DON'T. Whatever you say to your friends will get back to your ex. Rather say things that will make your ex want to see you again. Other than that, just having fun with your friends and enjoying yourself will make your ex curious enough to want to find out directly from you, what is going on. This is the effect that reverse psychology has, and what will eventually get your ex back.

Once your ex realizes that you are NOT doing what you usually do, that you are NOT sitting at home feeling miserable for yourself, he/she will make contact with you sooner or later. This is then the perfect time to have a chat to your ex about how you are going to fix the problems that caused the break up.

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Author's Bio: 

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