Marriage Not Working: How To Mend A Broken Marriage And Stop Your Divorce

Marriage Not Working: How To Mend A Broken Marriage And Stop Your Divorce

Type the question into Google and in less than a quarter of a second it returns over two million links. Some lead to articles, others to "sure fire" products that promise to solve all marriage problems, and others to blogs that say one can and blogs that say one cannot.

Employing the slightest logic proves that one spouse cannot save a marriage. If a marriage involved only one person; one person could save it. By its very definition, marriage is a bond between two people. Therefore, if one leaves the bonds, the marriage is over, no matter how much the remaining spouse wants their marriage to continue.

Should the spouse wanting to save a marriage then give up all hope?

Absolutely not.

There are times when one spouse can do certain things that will likely lead the other to working out their marriage problems and salvaging the marriage.

Things That Do Not Work

The key to salvaging a marriage is for the hoping partner to understand that trying to make the abandoning partner stay is the kiss of death. People do not appreciate being forced, manipulated, or controlled. The spouse fighting to save the marriage will be unwise to use sex, money, guilt, cajoling, or anything else to try to keep the other from departing. Actually, the more one tries to force the other to stay, the more the other wants to leave.

Think of it this way: How would you like to be in a marriage where you chain your spouse in the basement so that they will always be there for you? Would you like the way they think about you? Feel about you? What they wish would happen to you? Of course, not. Using means other than chains doesn't really change the result.

Additionally, when the abandoning spouse knows that the other is there, waiting and longing, they have little motive to consider more carefully what they are doing. It's almost as if the waiting spouse is a net; if the new course of action doesn't work well, there's always going back to the one who is waiting no matter what.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

Things That Do Work

There are four things that cause one person to want to be closer to another. They are physical attraction, intellectual attraction, emotional attraction, and spiritual attraction. When one spouse is being abandoned, the best thing they can do is to quit clinging and work on the four areas of attractiveness.

Physical attractiveness has to do with how one looks. It doesn't mean plastic surgery or pretending to be 20 years younger. It does mean doing what it takes to be as physically attractive as one can be at their age and situation in life. That isn't competing with the physical appearance of whoever may be alluring the spouse. (Interestingly, many people involved in affairs say that the lover isn't as physically attractive as their partner.) It is making oneself the best they can be. It says to the abandoning mate, "Leave if you want, but I will survive without you and I will attract the attention of others. I may be in another relationship by the time you come to your senses."

Making oneself as physically attractive as possible reminds the other of the initial attraction that once existed. It also increases the self-confidence of the spouse being abandoned and gives a way to move on with life if the other spouse doesn't come back.

Intellectual attraction means that a person is perceived as mentally equal or better when it comes to matters of life. A person who is intellectually attractive is one that can be talked to in meaningful ways, one who understands important matters of life, and who stimulates the mind of the other.

The stereotypical "dumb jock" or "dumb blonde" may be attractive physically, but looks aren't all there are to a satisfying life. In the long run, people enjoy conversation on a peer or better level. When a spouse is being abandoned, moping doesn't accomplish anything. Deciding to learn, to grow, and to master matters of life accomplishes two things. First, it affects the person's self-confidence in very positive ways. Second, it causes the abandoning spouse to see that the person they are leaving is much deeper and more interesting than once thought. It again demonstrates, "You may leave, but my life won't end. I will continue to grow and new people will come into my life as a result."

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

Emotional attraction occurs when a person evokes emotions in another that he or she enjoys feeling. That might range from laughter to feeling important to feeling safe and more. When one evokes emotions the other does NOT enjoy - guilt, shame, rebellion - the result is just the opposite of attraction. It is repulsion. Being strong, having friends, going on with life, laughing, and sincere joy are always attractive in another. The abandoned spouse would do far better for self and for the possibility of reconciliation if they found a way to enjoy life rather than clinging to the hope the other may come back.

Spiritual attraction refers to how one perceives the other's beliefs and values. Too often a person being left resorts to behavior inconsistent with, or directly contrary to, their beliefs and values. Some start drinking heavily. Others act out sexually. Some become quite mean. Whatever the behavior, if a person lets go of those things that they hold dear, they become a different person. More attractive? Yes, if they abandon unseemly behavior and become a better person. Not if they abandon lofty ideals and move in a downward spiral.

Each of these areas of attraction work for the benefit of the person focusing on them. At the same time, they may well stop the leaving spouse in their tracks as they see their spouse in a new light. When one knows that the other will move on, succeed, and have a good life without them, that person naturally becomes more attractive. Perhaps more attractive than what the departing spouse was moving toward.

So even if your spouse doesn't want to work on your marriage there are things you can do to win him/her back. And even in the event that it doesn't work, you are improving yourself for a better life than you would've had otherwise. But I've seen the formula described in this article work more times than not.

Pay Close Attention Here-

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Do not involve other people in your problems; simply because marital problems should be treated as something private that both of you should discuss.

It would also be helpful to learn how to look at your circumstance as a third person point of view. Try looking at the bigger picture, so that you don't get hooked up with your pride and keep insisting that you're right.

If you're talking it over, be sure that both of you are calm while doing so. Also, try your best to think about what you say before speaking. Keep in mind that words can be as sharp as a two-edged sword. Saying something unwarranted can only worsen your situation and hurt your partner even more.

Try putting yourself in your spouse's shoes. See how doing that can change your perspective on the subject. If you find yourself to be wrong, then be sure that you learn how to ask for forgiveness in a sincere manner.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

If you'll be asking for forgiveness, be sure that you're sincere about it. Don't do it just out of lip service. Do so with all your heart. Most of the time, both sides should ask for forgiveness of the other. This especially happens when both of you simply snapped out of anger and have acted inappropriately with each other. If so, be humble enough to admit your mistakes.

However, you should understand that saying you are sorry sometimes isn't enough. There are instances when extra effort is needed. Don't be afraid to go a step further than simply saying you are sorry.

On the flip side, you should also learn to forgive. This is probably the most important thing in married life. Learning to forgive and learning to trust are two different things. Trust is something the other person needs to earn.

Next, click here now to find out why your spouse is lying to you about the reasons they want a divorce. Follow the information step by step and you will discover the truth, cut through the lies and pain, stop divorce dead in its tracks, and rebuild the strong, intimate marriage you've always wanted... even if your spouse doesn't want to!

Save your marriage now and visit Save The Marriage

Most people who are in love will sooner or later end up in a marriage. But the newlyweds' don't always know what they signed up for. In order for people to have successful marriages it's important to realize that it's a long term commitment that will last for the rest of their lives.

The love that once blossomed between you and your loved one might not be as strong as it once was. You need to realize that it's OK to face problems in your marriage. It will face hardships and turmoil like any other part of your life. Marriage stress is perfectly normal.

Just like the weather changes in the different weather seasons so will your marriage. You might like the summer and sun but loathe the winter with it's cold and harsh climate.

But just because you dislike it you won't simply give up and move to a warmer country. Your marriage works the same way, you need to live through the hard and harsh times that it faces and work your way to a better tomorrow. It's the number one principle behind successful marriages.

Aside from this golden rule there is some important marital advice I have to give you that is important to remember.

Respect

Mutual respect is a very important for both of you. You and your partner might have a difference of opinion on a number of different subjects. It's important to remember that we are all individuals with free will, this is perfectly natural.

As long as you remember the common faiths and beliefs that you marriage rests upon will your marriage will survive any hardships.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

Trust

Trust is another critical factor that must be handled with care to make your marriage successful. If you are suspicions of your partners behavior the very best thing you can do is to confront her/him directly in a calm and normal manner.

Having an open communication will minimize the risk for friction and keep your marriage strong.

Patience

Life can't always be sunny and bright. Even the sun has dark spots. Your marriage will most likely face hardships in some point in time. Again communication is very important so that you can both work towards a better tomorrow.

Marriage is a long term commitment that must be nurtured, or else it will become stale and
weak.

The most successful marriages work because all of these factors are handled with care.

And don't be afraid to accept marital advice from friends and family, they are or have probably been in a similar situation and know what you are going through. It will make it much easier to deal with marriage stress and other related problems.

If your marriage is on the rocks because the fizzle has flopped in the bedroom, you're not alone. Plenty of people have the same problems...and statistics show that a large portion of folks end up in a broken marriage as a result.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

"No one should separate a couple that God has joined together." True to this Biblical saying from the book of Matthew, every Christian couple strives hard to maintain a solid and continuing relationship with one another. But if problems arise between the couple, how will they resolve it? Of course simple arguments could easily be addressed by showing a compromising spirit; but how about the bigger issues that couples encounter nowadays? The solutions are of course taken from the different sites that offer marriage help for Christians.

Websites that offer marriage help for Christians usually focus on the use of the bible in providing marriage advices to couples. By using the trusted principles that are outlined in Biblical passages, Christian couples could be ensured that whatever advice they receive are always in line with their beliefs.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

With the use of marriage help for Christians, couple will be given ample time to discuss their issues with their spouses as well as the other problems that they encounter as married people. Through the use of the bible, couples are encouraged to reflect the qualities of their Lord, Jesus Christ as they deal with stressful and problematic situations they face in their marriages. Also the use of marriage help for Christians also assist couples in finding ways how they could prevent ending up divorcing one another, knowing that God wants them to stay together until both of them shall live.

So, are you a Christian couple, battered with many problems in your marriage? Stray from divorce and receive marriage help for Christians, and for sure you could adhere with what Jesus said: "No one should separate a couple that God has joined together."

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.