Living With A Depressed Husband: Living With A Partner With Depression

Living With A Depressed Husband: Living With A Partner With Depression

I think that anybody who's marriage is in trouble would like to see things worked out. There are so many problems, both financial and emotional, that come with divorce that surely isn't a good first choice.

Unfortunately, lots of strength, emotional and physical, is needed to fix things up. This is especially true if your husband suffers from depression. The emotional and physical stress is so great that a lot of women just give up and look to get out of it.

In this article I offer three pieces of advice for women who's marriage is in trouble because of the husband's depression. Read it and implement the ideas so you'll be able to lead a much happier life.

1. Do what you have done before. The best advice that I, or ANYONE else, can give someone who's marriage is in trouble is to remember what you have done in the past. Your husband's depression probably isn't something new. The severity might be new but probably he had bouts of "sadness" even before you concluded that your marriage is in trouble. And if you are still married then the depression did weaken.

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Don't waste your time and energy to "reinvent the wheel". Firstly it is not worth the effort. Secondly, if it worked once, it will probably work again. Even if the situation has changed since the last time, you can use what you used in the past as a base and "tweak" it to make it appropriate for the present situation.

2. Take care of yourself. When your husband is depressed it surely takes a heavy toll on you. He might not help with the kids, can't hold a job down (so you have to support the family), offer you NO support, and constantly blame you for his situation and put you down.

You need all the strength that you can muster in order not to fall apart. Go to the gym. Go out to eat or go out to the movies with friends. Lock yourself in a room and read a book.

THIS IS NOT BEING SELFISH. I repeat, "THIS IS NOT BEING SELFISH." If your marriage is in trouble, it will take strength to save it. If you fall apart, then your children will suffer and well as your husband. Therefore take care of yourself.

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3. Convince him to get help. This DOES NOT mean to just "drop the bomb" and bluntly tell him, "Dear, I think that you need help." This surely won't help! (as I'm sure you know.)

A simple, and very effective, formula to use is (1) only mention facts (no labels) (2) make clear what you are not hinting to, and (3) then to say what you want to say (as gently as you can say it, but enough to get your point across).

Meaning: You don't call him lazy, inconsiderate, or self centered. You only say what you saw. For instance, "I see that you haven't gotten up before 12:30 for the past month."

After that you say something to the effect of, "I'm not saying that you are lazy or that you don't care about the family."

Only after that can you say, "Therefore what do think can help you here?" If he says, "Nothing, it will work itself out. Just give it time and don't rush me", then you can suggest that you don't agree and that and suggest that he sees someone (or to do something else to overcome his depression).

Dealing with a depressed husband isn't easy. However, it also doesn't mean that you have to run to divorce that might be "jumping from the frying pan into the fire".

Begin with these 3 ideas and stay strong until you once again begin to have a happy marriage.

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Now listen carefully! Take 2 minutes to read the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will make your spouse love you for the rest of their lives even if they are this close to walking out the door. There is a set of easy to follow psychological tricks which will save your marriage and get you back to that place you once were - in love, committed and excited about the future - within a few days guaranteed. I strongly urge you to read everything on the next page before it's too late and time runs out- Click Here

If your marriage isn't working for you, maybe you aren't working enough for it. A marriage is a relationship; and no ship will steer its own course - or stay afloat very long without maintenance. If your relationship is feeling more like a "slave-ship," or a "war-ship," here are three-things you can do that will make it seem more like a "cruise-ship" - and help you turn your marriage into a dream vacation:

1. Listen. Listen to your partner; and listen to yourself. Communication is essential in a relationship; you aren't really in a relationship without it - even if you live together. And, without learning to listen to - and discern - the different voices within you, you can't truly know yourself. Without knowing yourself, how can you introduce yourself to another person? Listening is such a rare skill that you will receive "bonus points" in any situation where you are caught actually paying attention to your partner as if they really matter to you; most people don't - which is why most marriages end in divorce.

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2. Learn. Learn to listen, learn to communicate, learn to be a better partner (we can all stand to be better), learn who your partner is, learn compassion, learn emotional self-management, learn to take personal responsibility, and learn from the relationship and the things that happen in it rather than blaming your own personal problems and "short-comings" on your relationship, or some other person - especially someone you supposedly love and honor. "Learn" can also be interpreted as, "Grow up." Personal growth is essential for a happy relationship - or a happy life. Knowledge is power; gather it and use it wisely.

3. Love. Love is all we need because love is all there is. Everyone has it; though some aren't aware of it, or don't understand where to "find" it, how to use it, or what love truly is. If there are conditions, it isn't love; it is some form of attachment. Learn to love unconditionally. Your only other choice is to continue suffering until you do. Spend time thinking fondly of your partner, and thinking of ways to express your love. In order to have a better relationship, you must visualize, or imagine, the kind of relationships you want, and then love your relationship as you watch it transform one step at a time.

Next, click here now to find out why your spouse is lying to you about the reasons they want a divorce. Follow the information step by step and you will discover the truth, cut through the lies and pain, stop divorce dead in its tracks, and rebuild the strong, intimate marriage you've always wanted... even if your spouse doesn't want to!

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Are you asking the question of how to save your marriage to yourself every day? If that's the case, I have some news for you: One good and one bad. Let's start with the good one: The mere fact that you're not letting the marriage go away, and you are trying to save your marriage is something I congratulate you for. You are a selfless person ready for self sacrifice. But, the bad news is that you are asking the question of how to save your marriage to wrong person: Yourself. So, why? And what should you do rather than this?

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I do and you do know that a severe marriage crisis is a horrible thing to be in. It is devastating to see your marriage crumble; and it is so easy to be overwhelmed by your instincts and emotions. And your emotions will tell you to go and do all the wrong things, because you are desperate. Those wrong things are actions such as trying to talk your spouse out of divorce, and when this doesn't work, flat out begging to save your marriage. You should avoid those actions at all costs. You can be sure that your stance in your spouse's mind won't rise when you look desperate and pathetic!

This is why I am telling you that you should restrain from asking "yourself" how to save your marriage. Your state of mind is a desperate one and your own answer to that question will invariably be wrong. Don't allow your emotions and instincts to get the better of you!

You should ask the question of how to save your marriage to an unbiased outside source. It made me save my marriage (yes, mine was ending too, that's why I am giving advice now) and will save yours.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

If you find yourself in a troubled marriage and want very badly to avoid a divorce, there is a solution. So many couples begin to lose all hope when they try counseling and it fails. They blame themselves and assume that if counseling won't work, that nothing will work. This is just not true. As a matter of fact traditional marriage counseling has not been an effective tool for saving most marriages! Before you give up on your marriage, there is a plan that works when most everything else has failed. I'd encourage you to begin now, before it's too late!

Recent studies have shown that marriage counseling has not worked for nearly 8 out of 10 couples. That's right - 80% who attended counseling ended up divorced! This is roughly the same figure as those who didn't attend counseling. When you consider this, it should come as no surprise that our divorce rate is so high. It's like going to a doctor and finding out that doctor has an 80% failure rate. But isn't that basically what we are doing?

When my marriage nearly ended a few years ago, me and my wife had been going down the same path as millions of other couples. When counseling failed, my wife basically gave up on the marriage and said she wanted a divorce. I was heartbroken! Obviously things had not been good, but never did it occur to me that divorce was an option. But everything we had tried had failed us! What was I going to do?

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

A friend told me about a guy he had seen on a television program the other night. The guy was a marriage counselor but was using an approach that was considered to be different than what traditional marriage counselors were talking about. The approach had been almost 90% successful! Best of all, it would work even when only one partner was trying to save the marriage! For the first time in a long time,I felt a sense of hope. I was willing to do whatever it took to save my marriage and this sounded like it could work for me and my wife.

I ordered the materials and started the process. Even though my wife wasn't interested initially, I did everything the book said to do. Suddenly things really did begin to change! Here is the basis of what is required:

1. You must be willing to take action now!

2. You must stop playing the blame game!

3. You must get out of your negative emotional state!

4. You must follow a plan that may seem like the complete opposite of what you should be doing.

5. You must commit yourself 100% to saving your marriage

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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