"Karezza is the greatest beautifier... it maintains youth and is one of the best health exercises." -- William Lloyd.

"Now to you, the man, I speak: Lie down beside your partner and begin to caress her gently with the softness of your hands and fingertips. Tell her to relax herself and lie utterly passive. Tell her to yield herself to the bliss of utter peace and realization...." Can you hear it already? This is the new locker-room talk, after 2012. As the men towel themselves dry after a fierce football game, a younger, inexperienced male asks one of his older buddies what all that sex-talk is about and whether he can get some coaching on what to do with that girl next door, with whom he seems to be so infatuated. "Tell her that you love her, and that your whole being longs for entire unity with her. Remember that you cannot use the word 'love' too often. She will never tire of it and it is your watchword. Be to her an incarnate blessing. Try to convey God to her." (That actually was, more correctly, a direct quote from William Lloyd's enchanting little book "The Karezza Method")

Meanwhile, in the shower stalls where the cheerleaders are washing off from a hot and dusty workout, that next-door girl is wondering what she should do if that attractive young man asks her again to come over for a glass of lemonade, since his parents will be gone for the weekend. Across the dividing wall from the other shower comes... “Never!” That's what they ALL say. Just because it's now January 1st, 2012 doesn't mean that men have changed a bit. Men will be men. They'll tell you that they love you, and they actually might - and believe it themselves - but once you give them what they want, you're just another girl amongst many. If you are lucky, they'll stay interested afterwards, although never in the same way and maybe even marry you... but... you'll always have to stay pretty and perfect and attractive, or they'll wander off, after someone just a little better smelling, more svelte-looking, more flippy-haired. Then there you are, with several little kids, looking dumb while he is busy online with some or other more stimulating exchange."

"Did you just say something? I had shampoo in my ears! But I think I know my answer... if I don't go over there, I'll never get a boyfriend!"

Ouch! Tongue-in-cheek, yes, but also painfully true. What IF a sudden mystical experience changed all of our men around, even changed our insidious cultural programming? Without those ubiquitous, goading, robotic, over-stimulating media promotions intent on selling frantic, frictional, orgasmic sexuality, how might family life and relationships look in our modern world? And what would happen to our economy? It is so sad to look soberly at how far off track we have really gone with our love-relationships, with that extraordinary cultural ignorance of our higher sexual calling. How many women have told me that they have given up trying to explain to their mates what they really want and need. Even more sad, they have learned to shy away from the loving touch of their mates for fear that "it will end up as it always does" - for him. It will always be "too late" for that extended touch they need and want so much for their own peace of mind, soul and body. And actually, while it is rare that a woman would say that she totally dislikes sex, the reason for their disenchantment and seeming rejection of the "whole idea" has more to do with the unfortunate, doomed approach rather than their unwillingness to come into union with their mate. But never mind women's disappointment. I doubt that our lovely men like to be used, and seen, in the way our media portray them - ever eager to conquer one or other female, identified only via their genital activities, as if that had anything to do with true, evolved masculinity.

Lloyd describes women's greatest sexual craving to be "for a long continued, tender touch, as deep as possible, as long as possible," giving her "more deliberate, more luxurious nature plenty of time to be fully aroused and satisfied." What happens while "there", inside the luxuriating female, we will discuss shortly, while our male readers might contemplate how to get "there" without any accident. That is why Lloyd talks about careful mental preparations and the developing of a completely new attitude of the purpose of male-female union. He also carefully explains the different meaning of the word satisfaction in the context of a new exchange of electro-magnetic energies between male and female: a "sweet satisfaction, fullness of realization, peace, often a physical glow and mental glamour that lasts for days, as if some ethereal stimulant, or rather nutriment, had been received" - and all that without leaving any sense of weakness or exhaustion. This satisfaction is "normally combined with a grateful affectionateness and tender yearning toward the partner...it maintains, increases and makes habitual the union." That certainly sounds like the very responses Marnia Robinson promises in her books (Peace Between the Sheets and her latest, Cupid's Poisonous Arrow, see: www.reuniting.info). And she cites research that helps us understand the immediate and also long-term (as long as two-week) ramifications of having played with hormonal downloads which were never meant to bond and unite, but only fertilize and separate. If we want to argue all that cutting-edge research, we might also look at our divorce statistics. If the kind of romance to which we have become accustomed were truly so effective and successful, millions of former lovers should still be happily married.

With regard to a method such as Karezza or the approach Marnia Robinson discusses so carefully on her website and in those two books, I would say that couples which have already grown disenchanted with their attempts at physical intimacy might be the best prospects for the sacred switch in consciousness which has to precede a successful pivot-turn into a new, much more satisfying, blissful sexual bonding experience. That category of folks is directly followed by high-spirited, younger lovers who are still quite enchanted with each other but believe, and have experienced, that purely animalistic copulation, though maybe infused with great love and the careful, sophisticated, erotic dance which more experienced lovers know to offer to each other, soul-to-soul, still does not offer the promised long-term connubial bliss, peace and security. Some of our incoming crops of youngsters might already have that new, uplifting attitude built into their energy circuitry, which would surely create a brighter, more inspiring future for the human race.

So, how does one either begin, or change, one's approach to physical intimacy so as to be able to explore this kind of controlled, non-seminal intercourse? The lucky couples, as I mentioned above, are those who already haven't had much of it. They have nothing to lose and are more likely to want to explore new avenues, and anything new will feel refreshing and wonderful: a new hope and amazing promise. All they need to do is prepare themselves mentally and emotionally for such a "policy-change" in marital congress, and try to work with the initial awkwardness which is common after a long dearth of intimacy. Thinking and talking about being together with a commitment not to let things end with what Lloyd calls the "crisis", but explore blending soul-to-soul in loving tenderness, almost as two lovers might who are contemplating an affair, can be very enticing and delicious. As long as there is no teasing which would tend to arouse and send the energies into the opposite direction and only lead to the need for repression and ensuing congestion, rather than the exhilarating upward flow and blending of the electro-magnetic forces which produce a different kind of glow and moisture. "Lawless, nervous, unregulated flouncings and wrigglings should be barred as from the waltz. They properly belong to epileptic states of the orgasmal embrace." (Do you see why I like that little book? Lloyd is so very funny, but at once so very sincere, dear and tender. It really is best to buy both, Alice Stockham's book which I mentioned in my last article and Lloyd's. A short magazine article can never be more than an introduction to the idea.)

"But I don't love her THAT much that I would want to spend a whole hour laying around... all I need is a few moments for goodness' sake." Yes, well, if there is not enough care or love there to want to spend some loving, extended physical time together, why bother at all to get into a position that demands more intimacy than any other demonstration we can offer each other? So, yes, no need to consider any of this if one thinks it boring to deeply connect with a present or future loved-one. It does indeed demand a bit of presence and a capacity to connect authentically which may not be comfortable to everyone. Our culture has predisposed us to fear true intimacy, and so we have come to think of certain acrobatic feats in the bedroom - while avoiding eye-contact, no less - as some form of intimacy. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Here, Lao Tzu refers to the state of enlightenment called Immortality by Taoists, which is similarly discussed in esoteric Christian texts.

Cultivating self-control and practicing sublimation of passions is a fine exercise for any of us. Even for people struggling with other addictions, this is something to contemplate: Who am I - and how shall I live? If we think we are merely an animal, without choice or higher calling, we probably would not be busy reading this magazine. If I think I am first and foremost a great spiritual being playing with earth-life while wearing this lovely "pink rubber-suit" as I like to call our bodies, I might take on such a challenge for sublimation in a whole different spirit. Just think, the idea of soul-to-soul, as we like to describe good sexual experiences, can take on a whole additional meaning. IS there really an opportunity, by way of gentle, loving, careful physical and sensuous expressions of love and intimate contact, to meet up with each other's highest natures and purest energy-bodies in ways few people can imagine? A "mutual quiet magnetation" sublimating the sexual current upwards and through expressions of heart-love, away from concentration upon genitals "from sexual to the affectional, from sex-desire to romance, tenderness, spiritual exaltation and love?" It might be worth the exploration. What harm can there be in "trying to convey God to each other" - in whatever way you might conceptualize that great idea?

Ref.: J. William Lloyd, The Karezza Method (c) 2008 BiblioBazaar; original copyright: 1931

From Space of Love Magazine, Issue #4

Author's Bio: 

Dr. Regina Jensen is trained and licensed as a psychotherapist, physical therapist and Master Executive Coach with professional experience for over 35 years. Regina works as a consultant to the Media and entertainment industry and has been published widely in several languages. She is a writer and independent researcher with a commitment to "finding intelligent, expedient and joyful solutions for the predicaments we have co-created for each other on our Mother Planet". (http://www.spaceoflovemagazine.com)

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