Learning to Last Longer: Relax. The Journey is its Own Reward.

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Premature ejaculation affects not only you but your partner as well. Feelings of anger and resentment can arise from continued unsatisfying sexual encounters. The good news is that this does not have to be a permanent problem. Read on and learn what you (and your partner) can do to improve your sexual relationship

The Basics

Premature ejaculation is a term used when a man often achieves climax quickly and before his partner can climax as well. It almost sounds like a medical disorder but rest assured, there is probably nothing wrong with you. You can last longer in bed; you just have to work a little harder at it.

Some studies link premature ejaculation to psychological factors such as depression, anxiety, or a general lack of confidence. Some men also feel that their penis is overly sensitive, particularly men that are not circumcised. Again this is more of a mindset and if you want to last longer in bed you just need to move your mind into a more positive direction.

Talk Your Way Out of It

No, I don’t mean that you should continually offer excuses for your premature ejaculation. If you want to last longer in bed, you need to communicate with your partner. This can often be overlooked to detrimental results. Feelings of resentment or anger can build up and destroy your relationship altogether. Don’t feel ashamed to talk to your partner. Involve him or her and it not only shows that you care about both your needs, it can be fun to boot!
Showing your partner that you also want them to achieve climax lets them know that you’re not just in it for yourself. Maybe certain positions let you last longer in bed than other. Explore them with your partner and let them know when you think you’re getting too excited. Start slow and experiment until you gain better self-control.

Think About It

Sometimes a not so pleasant distraction is all you need. I’m not saying that you should think about something disgusting or depressing, just something to keep you from getting overly excited too quickly. Be careful here though. Don’t think about the fact that you suffer from premature ejaculation, that your partner would be better off with someone else, or anything else that could cause more anxiety. Just a simple distraction, like what you need from the supermarket, to keep you from feeling too intensely. You may already be able to last longer in bed after reading this far but keep going, there’s more knowledge to be had.

Work it Out

Did you know there was an exercise that could help you with premature ejaculation that doesn’t even require a gym membership? This magical exercise is known as a kegel and it involves the muscles that form part of the pelvic floor. You can perform these anywhere, even while waiting on the corner for the bus!

The performance is simple. Let’s say you were urinating and you wanted to stop the flow. You squeezed a muscle in your pelvis and the flow stopped. That, in a nutshell, is a kegel. Flexing (and therefore developing) that muscle not only gives you more control over your ejaculation; it can also increase the firmness of your erection as an added bonus.

Eventual mastery of this exercise will not only prevent premature ejaculation but also possibly give you the ability to experience multiple climaxes. There is no reason you shouldn’t be doing them right now as you read this.
Say goodbye to premature ejaculation and enjoy the satisfaction of being able to last longer in bed and satisfy your partner.

Author's Bio:

Benny Gilbet writes and speaks on relationships, sexuality and other topics relating to dynamics between men and women- which is his favorite topic of choice. Most recently, Benny has contributed to PrematureEjaculation.org with several articles and practical advice on how to last longer in bed for men.

Izilo Dedela

(4) One can also do this solo. As I masturbate I keep on relaxing my whole body whilst I stay with truly feeling my body and the pleasure that comes with loving myself. I keep on masturbating, without to much fantasizing, till my penis comes out of its own accord. It will, just relax and enjoy, throw out shame, nobody is looking, play with it. This is so satisfying. And your woman/man will love you all the more for it. An other thing, that’s most probably also clear now is “DON’T do the kegeling during lovemaking”, except of coures, when you want to come very quickly ;-) Kegeling makes the ejaculate spasm stronger, more powerful, plus it is fun to know that one can (almost) come on command, yours or hers/his. Izilo.

(3) deeply because you actually, really connect with her/him. That is what we want, to feel deeply connected for a brief period of time. When I have let go of all my build-up tension, I start moving again. Staying in direct contact with our lovingly enjoying bodies, feeling, minds and souls. And as I keep on relaxing again and again and again, I don’t allow my body to go into the ejaculate spasm. And so you can enjoy a very different kind of orgasm, it will come, maybe some times not even, then your sexual energy will have sublimated and you will experience the soft glow of bliss without the sleep inducing post-orgasm, wonderfully IN Love. If done on every lovemaking session, you will find you will be able to make love for a long time without “avoiding feeling and connection”, to the contrary, you will be able to look into your lovers eyes, look at there beautiful body and love her/him deeply passionate without coming within a few seconds. Just RELAX. (see next)

(2) my lover. I’m here with her, I want to feel her, I want to know her, I want to give her all the pleasure she wants and can handle. So how does it work?? Actually it’s very simple !! As I get aroused my body starts to tense up, slowly but surely. If I let this tensing go its own way I will come in no time, and sometimes this is great (remember men, be creative in your lovemaking, don’t always do the same thing, even if she/he loves it so much, it will kill the passion) So, what contributes most to coming very quickly ?? > A tensioning body !! < Real magic starts to happen when I, as a man, stay conscious of this tension. As soon as it comes up “I relax” every muscle in my body. Just let all the tension go, just stop for a moment, no matter how brief, take a deep breath, take the time to intensely kiss your lover, touch her, feel her, look . . . She/he will be ever so grateful to you, she/he will love you (see next)

(1) Gee, what a pity you still refer to such an age old bad advice !! Surely there are other ways to deal with premature ejaculation, especially if, as you suggest, you can “talk about it” with your lady/friend. The thing is that a woman can “feel” that a man is distracted. If I distract myself (quote; Sometimes a not so pleasant distraction is all you need. I’m not saying that you should THINK about something disgusting or depressing, just something to keep you from getting overly excited too quickly), then I am no longer in direct contact with the person I’m making love with. Then all I’m doing is masturbating in a woman, NOT making and sharing LOVE with her, for that I really have to “completely be here with her” !!. And she knows when I’m not. Maybe a better understanding of how my body, as a man, works can help in many ways to control ejaculation AND “to stay deeply in contact” with (see next)

Dale Miller (Dieting and Weight Loss)

thank you for sharing