Many people have seen the DVDs, read the books, attended the seminars to attract romance, wealth and more, but still are not getting results. In the areas of money and love, so many have tied their hopes and dreams of finding that magic ticket to become a millionaire or meet the love of their life. The problem is not that the law of attraction does not work, but most people attempt to create from fear. Sadly, many self-help experts thrive on that fear to sell their products that feed the addiction of external gratification. This process is ineffective and will keep you buying more products that do not work if built on the foundation of perceived lack.

Thinking that more money or having a mate will make you happy leads you down a path of unfulfilled expectations. In addition, being hard on yourself for not being successful, judging your current circumstances as wrong and believing that something is wrong with you that needs to be fixed will keep you stuck. What you resist will persist and the anxiety you feel about not having those things will be a persistent until you let it go. Your subconscious mind perceives the feeling of lack and continues to give you that experience until you change your energy.

I am not taking about giving up on your dreams but acknowledging that there is nothing that can change in your external environment that will ever make you happier than you can be right now. Happiness is a choice and is solely based on your own perception. Even in times of complete devastation, you are free to interpret your circumstances. You are the one who decides what everything means.

When I was single, I had so much anxiety about my love life. I wondered when my time would come when my true love would find me and whisk me away from that awful singles world. After I met my boyfriend, who is absolutely incredible, I knew that
I was still me and life was not all that different. Years later, I left my thriving practice in Denver and moved to New York City. I had to start my business over again, money was tight and it took a while to generate momentum. In the first few months, I meditated everyday to help ease my financial stress. One day, as I sat there unable to face my anxiety any longer, a thought came to my head that shifted the tension forever. "Don't you remember when you used to worry like this over finding a man?" There it was…life's never-ending pursuit of something to get better…right in my face.

I realized that no matter what you seem to get in life, there will be always more that you need if you are dependent upon external forces to bring you happiness. Feeling as if the power is outside of you, it is no wonder that you would feel small and fearful. The anxiety that is created by lack of money or love must be addressed in order to be fully at peace. If not, you will be clinging on to any money that comes in or the first man that arrives, remaining in a state of uncertainty and turmoil throughout your life.

You see, what you really want is to feel good, not money or love. You are tricked to believe that joy comes in a nice fat check or the sexiest man or woman alive. A sense of happiness can be realized within you right now and supersedes any attachment to results that previously kept you in a state of panic. Working with the felt sense in your body and using visualization to release the tension is a powerful tool in discovering your own inner peace. Self-hypnosis is the perfect technique to alleviate panic because it not only brings you to a state of extraordinary relaxation, but works with the subconscious gunk that caused the discomfort in the first place.

Once the anxiety is cleared and you have peace of mind, you can freely attract any of those external bonuses whenever you want. When they arrive, you will be amazed at how little they add to your sense of joy since you already found greater elation inside. Once you discover your own well of joy that is abundant within you, you will never feel lack again.

There is a myth that life gets better. This moment is all you have. Stop wasting it on thinking about what you don't have and be grateful for this precious human life that is right here, right now before it goes away.

Author's Bio: 

Debra Berndt is a Certified Hypnotic Love Coach offering sessions, workshops, teleclasses and weekly radio show, The Love Coach Show on BlogTalkRadio. Her book, "Let Love In: How to Open Your Heart and Mind to Attract Your Ideal Partner" (Wiley) is to be released in early 2010. Get a free mp3 download, dating confidence, when you sign up for her weekly dating e-tips on her website is