Keeping Positive when you're around Negativity

"If our emotional stability is based on what other people do or do not do, then we have no stability. If our emotional stability is based on love that is changeless and unalterable, then we attain the stability of God." ~ Marianne Williamson

Everything is energy, including our thoughts and emotions. Emotions are contagious. When you around someone and they are stressed, our natural reaction may be to feel upset too. Sometimes when you walk into a room, you can feel that the other person is stressed.

We also attract people who have similar thoughts, emotions and beliefs as we do and we attract people with our insecurities. For example if you are worried about being bullied, you become a very attractive target for bullies, or, if you fear that people are going to treat you wrong, you attract people that treat you wrong. If you feel upset by another person's words, it may be because of an insecurity or fear in you. If you heal your insecurities and fears, then their words will not affect you.

Others cannot destroy your inner peace, unless you let them.

Build up your self-confidence.

With enough self-confidence, other peoples negativity cant affect you, and you might even influence the other person to be more positive. So, be sure about who you are and your own beliefs and values. Take care of yourself and value yourself. Being true to yourself is not selfish or unloving. Be true to yourself because you love others. By no longer enabling their behavior, they may learn to be responsible for themselves. By being true to yourself, you are also an encouragement to others to be true to themselves.
You can choose how you feel, and others cannot – unless you let them. They will probably respect you more if you respect yourself. It is impossible to please everybody, so do what you believe is right. Here are some things you can do to strengthen your self-confidence:

- Do this meditation each morning, and when you need to during the day: Go into a quiet room or outside by yourself, close your eyes, and take some slow, deep breaths. Imagine breathing positive energy coming in, and breath the negative energy out. Use affirmations such as: I am strong, valuable and loved, No-one can define how I feel but me, I choose to be positive, I choose to be happy, I choose to have a great day. I am deserving of love and respect. I attract positive people. If people try to pull me down, it is about them, not me, and I choose not to take it on.

- Protective Bubble: Imagine you have a bubble around you, made out of love and light. It is really strong, like a shield. Imagine other peoples negative energy cant get through the bubble, it just bounces off.

- Make a conscious decision to be positive even if you come across negativity. When you do come across negativity, you can stop and ask yourself: Is this feeling my own stress or their stress? If it yours, you need to deal with it, if it is theirs, you can decide not to take it on, or just let it go. It doesn't mean you are uncaring. You can help the person and be there for them without taking on their negativity yourself.

Don't take it personally.

It is more about them than it is about you.

Understanding why they are negative really helps. All people who are being negative, are that way because they are afraid of something. An angry person may be afraid of losing control, or afraid of not being understood. A critical person may have been hurt in the past and are afraid of being hurt again. They may be stuck in negative beliefs. Whatever the reason – the root cause of negativity is fear, every time. This person really feels bad and is suffering with their negativity. Think about what their intention may be. What are they trying to achieve? If their intention is good, that is a common ground that you can focus on with them. If they feel you care about the same intention as them, they may feel better.

Tips on talking with negative people:

You may have to have a difficult conversation with the person to work things out. Here are some tips to help you communicate with them:

- Listen. You can help calm this person by offering understanding, compassion and respect. You don’t have to agree with them, just acknowledge their point of view. The best way to get this person to listen to you is for you to listen to them first.

- Calmly and confidently tell them want you would like to achieve and why. Tell the person how they can benefit from what you are suggesting. Make it a win-win.

- Stick to the topic at hand. It could get very complicated if you or the other person bring up unrelated issues or things from the past. Stick to one topic and ask the other person to as well.

- Do not try to change the other person or force them to do what you want or to agree with you. It is impossible to force another person to change. They are free to choose what they will do, as are you.

- Using "I" statements will reduce their defensiveness. "I" statements mean you own what you are saying and not accusing them of anything. For example, instead of saying: "You are insulting me", you could say: "I feel insulted when you say that".

- Unwanted advice and criticism: Some advice you can appreciate, when it's given kindly and respectfully. Some is insulting, ignorant or disrespectful. In these cases, you could say something like: “thank you for your advice, I have considered what you said, but have decided to do...xyz... because it is working well for me.”

- To avoid being bullied, the best thing to do is not get upset or give in to their demands. They want you to be upset, if you get upset, they win. Don’t play their game. When they figure out it isn't working, they will move on.

“The evil-doer is insulting himself by trying to insult you.” ~ Buddha

- The “JADE” Technique:
Use the Jade technique, to avoid getting into an argument. If someone is saying things that are untrue, disrespectful or insulting, don’t JADE: J = Justify A = Argue D = Defend E = Explain. If you “Jade”, you are allowing them to continue harassing you, and you may get into a pointless argument that goes nowhere. Just say “no” and walk way.

“Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him”~ Prov 26:4

Conclusion

I hope these tips help you with dealing with negativity. If you can, avoid the negativity and seek out positive friends, spend time around positive people as much as you can, and do the things that make you happy!