Jealousy, Bitterness and Intimidation OH MY!

Jealousy, Bitterness and Intimidation OH MY!

We’ve all had or currently have them…difficult co-workers! Now, I am not your conventional “speak with your supervisor immediately” kind of advice giver, more of a “this is how it REALLY is and this is the most practical way to deal with it” kind of girl! So, regardless of the flavor whether it is: Obnoxious, know-it-all, passive aggressive or snotty, 99.9% of the time there are 3 reasons why you are having issues with someone at work. They are Jealousy, Bitterness and Intimidation. So identify the reason and try using the following tips to deal with them;

• Jealousy – Perhaps you are taller, shorter, skinnier, happier or smarter than your co-worker. Regardless if this is true or not they are reflecting those insecurities on you through acts of aggression or negative behaviors! To deal with this usually takes acts of “above and beyond”! Start with being EXTRA nice (I know, painful sometimes but remember YOU are the bigger person here!). Give an extra smile or good morning and have a good night! Once you have taken your time to do that (remember, this is like dating – you can’t come on to strong right away or your ulterior motives will start to shine through) start paying compliments as you walk by like “Fabulous top, the color looks great on you!” or try a “Your new hair style looks amazing on you!” Then finally, when that special moment presents itself (because trust me, if you follow the steps above you will create this moment!) give a “You have the most amazing make up techniques I am so JEALOUS” or “My, you are so good at that computer program, I could learn a lot from you!”. This will eventually show that you perhaps have some insecurity yourself and that you are not one to be jealous of!

• Bitterness – I have encountered many and will continue to run into them…Bitter Ben’s and Beatty’s! Perhaps you got the better desk, you got the position they wanted, or you have the relationship with the boss that they don’t have. OR quite simply, they are just bitter in general. Bitter that they had to get up and come to work that day. Bitter because they fill under paid or over worked. Whatever it may be, there is only one tactic for this one, the consistent professional. People with the bitter attitudes usually come with frequent mood swings! You cannot engage them when they decide that they are going to throw bitterness out the window for a couple of hours and socialize at work and then have to avoid them when the mood swings in the other direction. If you remain the consistent professional REGARDLESS of their mood they will eventually learn you are not going to engage in any behavior other than what you are reflecting yourself.

• Intimidation – People will generally react poorly to someone they feel intimidated by. Perhaps your dress better or are quicker at putting projects together or you are an ace with the computer program your company uses, who knows the reason really. The threat that you may achieve greater success in a shorter time will easily cause resentment. In this case, find something that they are better at and ask for there advice. Put the person in the position of knowledge and they will start to realize the have the strengths and stop reflecting their insecurities on you!

Regardless of the category they fall under, it is so important that you NEVER lie down and take blatant inappropriate behavior. You will never get in trouble for PROFESSIONALLY standing up for yourself. “Suzy it seems as if you are not a fan of me and I am sorry you feel that way. However, if you could set that aside so we can both do our jobs, I think that will be best for both of us!” They will have NO response to that because you are right and no manager can call that an inappropriate reaction.

One final note, next time you are looking at your co-worker that YOU can’t stand, ask yourself; are you bitter, jealous or intimidated by them?