It's not about you

Yesterday I had conversation with my friend on Facebook. She wrote that somebody made her cry and she don't want to back to work next day. I made a comment that this is not about her, she was in the wrong place and at the wrong time. I should mention she is working at the hospital; people are not coming there because they want, they are there because they have to be there and of course very often they are not happy being there. Was she in the wrong place? Of course not, it simply means she was the one who just entered patient room, if anybody else would enter the room before her she would avoid disappointment.

Did you see any analogy in your life? Have you ever been in a situation where you experienced "unfair" comment from somebody? if so, I would say it's is not about you, you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Is that important? Do you agree? How this may affect your point of view? Many times the same situation may cause a different responses. The same situation but different reaction. Let's see ... you are driving on the highway and suddenly traffic slows down and few minutes later all lines have stopped. You are in the middle. On your left hand side middle-aged man on his way to work. He works evenings at the telecommunication company. Yesterday he was late and promised to be on time today, but today he just get stuck in the traffic. What may he thinking? You probably know the answer. On you right hand side young couple on date. He promised to her father to bring her back before eight and they were just right on time and now what's a great excuse to be together a little bit longer. Did you see a difference? What answer would you expect for the question "how are you today?' from your left side? As you see this is not about you if from your left few harsh sentences would ended up in your ears. What about the answer if the same man would be on date just like young couple on your right and traffic jammed?

People are experiencing emotions every minute, this is not about the situation, this is about internal state. How we feel determines what our response may be. There is also another point, we have set of believs deeply in our subconscious mind and we are resonding in very similar way in similar situation. It means if somebody experienced unpleasant situation and as a part of this situation somebody very similar to you was involved, this person's first impression in relation to you will be directly associated with the unpleasant situation from the past. This may result in rather "cold" first contact until you will be given with the opportunity to improve your "image" through personal interaction. However, as i mentioned first impression made by you will be rather unsuccessful, even though this is not related to you in any way.

Hope you will get a little lesson today; don't let other people steal your good attitude, ruin your perfect day or make you unhappy because after all it's not about you.

Your Coach PJ Sikorski