You are not growing. Growth will take you into the unknown. Why is growth so scary? The most likely reason for many, many people is that they are conditioned unconsciously to fear change. This is rooted in perception. It is not a universal law that human beings must function this way.

You give away your personal power because you don’t understand what perception is. How do I know this? Well, if one person doesn’t behave fearfully when change shows up, it is not universal. Personally, I used to fear change and lived my life trying to control anything that moved in my world. I had so much armor on at one time, I could hardly breathe. This is no way to live.

This is how one lives an unlived life and begins to live a life of “quiet desperation,” as Thoreau said. While I still feel fear at times when I need to take a risk or step out into the world and do something different, I’ve become much more self-aware. The feelings if they arise are also typically short-lived. Sometimes fear has a positive function; trust your inner guidance. I’ve been able to use my intuition to synthesize the new brain research in a way that my logical, conscious mind can make sense of how my brain is working.

We are most effective when we can honor all aspects of our self. We have a conscious, logical mind that is always seeking safety—be it security, love, or self-esteem. We also have a subconscious/unconscious, intuitive mind (simply meaning out of our conscious awareness) that sees the greater picture of our life. It is also the big “hard-drive” storage memory of our mind.

Memory has a feeling nature to it that is stored in our body at a cellular level. If we are not aware of how perception works, we can take memories from childhood, as they were remembered/recorded in the mind of a child, and still live our life from this perception of how “life is.” When we learn how to “retrain our brain” to see perceptually a new way, it will literally transform how you “see” life, and that includes “change.” We are also better able to use both sides of our brain with more awareness. It has made a huge difference in my life, and here are just 3 examples of the type of results this can give you:

1. Less stressed and overwhelm – Stress is caused by perception. If you fear change and perceive it as a threat, you will trigger your stress automatically. It will also create worry for an outcome that hasn’t even happened (and can actually make it more likely to happen when you worry). This is what the vast majority of FEAR is: “Fictitious Evidence Affecting Reality.” My inner peace and focus continues to improve in quantum leap ways.

2. More Innovative/Creative – Think about it; if you are afraid of change, you cannot innovate, as you will cling to the familiar, the known world. Innovation requires having an open mind and seeing clearly enough to develop a new vision. This begins in your mind, and a fearful mind is very “near-sighted” and often stuck.

3. More Supportive Relationships – This happens personally and professionally. If you are less afraid of change, you will be willing to see value in people for who they are instead of what you can “get” from them all the time. If you cling to control, you won’t be able to allow confident, giving people into your life, as coming from a place of fear does not tend to attract these types of relationships. After all, who you are is what you will tend to attract. So if you are not being real, chances are the other person will intuitively pick up on your “vibe” anyway. The more comfortable I become in my own skin, the higher the quality of relationship I attract. Our thoughts and feelings are magnetic.

So if you are afraid of change, you can change that. The first step is to stop focusing on what you don’t want and start paying attention to what you do want. Your clear intention (will) combined with your conscious attention goes a long way to freeing your mind from fear of the unknown. You can then start seeing life as an adventure instead of something that you “must face” and get through.

Author's Bio: 

Valencia Ray, M.D. teaches business owners and corporate leaders how their amazing brain can actually hijack personal power -- not in the abstract, but in the context of integrating business and personal life. Dr. Ray, a board-certified eye surgeon and medical business owner for over 20 years before selling her practice, shares her own life changing process. By sharing her story, she helps others to expand their vision and learn that by living with purpose and confidence, it is possible to have a more integrated, healthier lifestyle – with less struggle, more inner peace and more abundance.

For more information and to contact her regarding dynamic, inspirational keynotes, trainings in collaborative leadership and team building, entrepreneurship and coaching programs, visit her website at