I don’t like to be corrected, not even if the correction comes from me! I laugh because just last week my offer to help was met with resistance and I couldn’t understand why. I walked into the kitchen to find my husband making breakfast. I noticed a couple of burnt pieces on the plate and instinctively turned the bacon over while saying “Let me help you with the bacon.” He quickly replied, “I just turned it over.” I felt like he didn’t want my help, but at the same time I also felt vested in the task of keeping the bacon from burning. Finally, I pulled myself away, because he repeated, “I just turned it over.” I guessed that maybe my husband was feeling corrected or perhaps even criticized by my interference.
I believe that everyone needs to welcome correction. It is a great opportunity to learn. People doing the correcting only want the best for us, right? It sure feels that way to me when I offer correction. But is that how I see things when I am the one being corrected? Here is how I discovered my answer.
I picked up a large order of fast-food for dinner the other day. It included five drinks in cups with lids. I had everything fairly secure on a cardboard lid, and just needed to decide where to place it in the car. I was in a hurry, and the idea to put the food on the back seat came to me. I didn’t question this thought, despite intuitive information that pointed out to me, that the drinks could spill, and the mess would end up on the seat. True to this premonition, one of the lemonades tipped over, spilling completely.
While driving my car the next day, I reflected on this event since I disregarded what was clearly helpful advice from my intuition. I also recalled another very similar event that took place about a month ago. I was in a hurry again, and didn’t have time to finish my lunch. My sandwich was so good, I decided to take it with me and eat it while driving. Immediately after this decision, I recall receiving distinct information showing me a scene where the half sandwich was sliding off my plate and falling all over my lap and the car interior. Did I listen? No. Sure enough, that sandwich slid right off my plate the moment I opened the car door and started to get in the car. I wonder now, “Am I psychic? Perhaps I’m just excellent at manifesting what I do NOT want? Or maybe, there is something important here that I am not seeing because this situation keeps showing up?”
I decide to use EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) to tap through these events and see what insights I can discover. I tune in to the lemonade spill event, observing my thoughts and feelings as I am going to put the food in the car. I sense that the decision to put the drinks in the back seat was automatic and set. Maybe I have an automatic pilot for decision making and it goes on when I’m in a hurry? I tune into the “set” feeling. I feel an unwillingness to consider other options. I am turning a deaf ear to my intuition. It feels like I am not allowed to question what has been decided. Why not? What if I did question the decision, what would that mean to me? The feeling I get tells me that accepting information from my intuition means I am accepting correction and that means… I am admitting to being wrong! Aha! I don’t like being corrected because to me if means I am wrong. But what is wrong with being wrong? I tune in to the feeling of “not liking it”. I notice an underlying conclusion that says, “Something is wrong with me”. That feels bad. My mind is linking correction, with “being wrong”, with “something is wrong with me”, and this is holding emotional pain. No wonder I avoided listening to my intuition! I was really avoiding this pain! Maybe the mess in the car was just another way for this emotional pain to express, “What is wrong with you, look at this mess!”
I know this conclusion is not true, but because there is emotional pain attached to it, it feels like it is. The emotional pain just needs releasing with EFT. I tune in to how true this statement “sounds” to me, as I say it out loud, “There is something wrong with me.” It’s a 3 on a scale of 0-10, where 10 means completely true and 0 is completely false. I begin tapping at the Karate Chop point:
“Even though I have this belief and feeling that changing my decision means that there is something wrong with me, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though it feels like it is more important for me to be right than to listen to good advice, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though, it feels personal when I am offered correction, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway.”
Reminder phrases for two rounds on the short cut points:
Top of the head point, “I feel like there is something wrong with me when I have to change my mind.” Beginning eyebrow point, “I don’t like to be corrected because it reminds me that I am wrong.” Side of the eye point, “I feel there is something wrong with me when I stand corrected.” Under the eye point, “I don’t like to be corrected.” Under the nose point, “Correction implies being wrong.” Collarbone point, “Changing my decision means there is something wrong with me.” Under arm point, “Who wants to be wrong when it means one is defective?” Top of the head point, “This link I have made between correction, being wrong, and believing and feeling that there is something wrong with me.” Beginning eyebrow point, “What if there is nothing wrong with being wrong.” Side of the eye point, “What if there is really nothing wrong with me?” Under the eye point, “Maybe I can be wrong about things; and not let it mean that there is something wrong with me!” Under the nose, “Maybe being wrong isn’t such a big deal.” Under the chin, “Maybe I can be OK with correction.” Collarbone point, “What if I have been wrong about my self in believing that there is something wrong with me? Wouldn’t that be great news?” Under the arm point, “Maybe it’s a good thing to be wrong sometimes. Maybe I can be glad to be corrected, especially if it will save me from making a big mess!
Later, I asked my husband why he resisted my help in turning over the bacon. He said, “I thought the bacon would burn, since I had just turned it over!” Well, I was wrong about my husband. He didn’t mind being corrected at all, it was just my perception. Maybe there is a bigger insight here? Are my perceptions of others just reflecting of how I see myself?
Note: To be completely free of a belief and feeling like, “there is something wrong with me”, which is quite a large “tabletop”, will require clearing underlying specific events, or “table legs” under it, that justify and support the feeling and belief.
Eloisa C. Ramos has been working with alternative therapies for the last 6 years. She is an EFT Cert.-II Practitioner, and is available for one-on-one sessions by phone, speaking engagements, and EFT Training. You may send your comments and questions to ramoshealing@comcast.net and visit her website: www.healing-with-eft.com.
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