I Don't Care About My Husband Anymore: What You Need To Consider Before Leaving Your Husband

We often hear the expression 'I'm not in love any more' but what exactly does that mean? Initially when we 'fall in love' it is a feeling of euphoria and we can't think about anything or anyone else. We become all consumed with the thought of the other person and can't wait to see them again.

This is an exciting time in anyone's life, but being on cloud nine cannot possibly last forever. If it did we would never get anything done, and we'd gradually wear ourselves out. But need it reach the stage where you question, should you stay married if you're not in love anymore.

What tends to happen after a while is that you develop a mutual love and respect for each other, become close friends and want to make the other person happy. Your happiness becomes their happiness also, and you start to share the day to day happenings in your lives and learn to appreciate each other's points of view and to know when to compromise and when to stand your ground.

Over time a deep understanding and love takes the place of the overwhelming feelings you first experienced, and, if you work at it and are lucky, your relationship grows.

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Respecting each other's opinion and points of view is all important in any relationship, and so it's important to realise that once that respect is lost it's very difficult to get it back.

Before you start to feel you're not in love with your partner any more, you should ask yourself if that's because you are unhappy with yourself, with your financial situation, or your work. If there are children in the partnership, do you feel they've taken over your lives and you have become strangers to one another.

Think back to when you fell in love. What has changed? Have you both settled into a rut and become bored with each other? Does this necessarily mean you don't love one another any more?

The tedium of everyday life can take away all our romantic notions of what our lives should be about. By doing things together and talking about your feelings and fears, sometimes it can start to bring back that closeness you once had.

If you don't eat and drink you will die. The same can be said for a partnership. If you don't keep one another's interest alive by sharing things and doing things together your love will wither and die. If you lose sight of what is important to make your relationship stay fresh and fun, or if you let appearance and sense of humor go you will lose one another.

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All marital relationships go through a tough stretch-- this is common for all couples. But if it seems that your problems are too serious, there is still a way to save your marriage even if your partner has practically closed down on you!

There comes a time in some marriages where one of the partners has refused to work on the marriage, or has been too consumed in negative thoughts. However, you can employ some specific measures to get your partner back involved again to prevent you from heading towards divorce:

#1: Get To Heart Of The Matter.

In this particular instance, you'll be dealing with your marital issues by yourself so the first step in fixing your marriage is tracking down the root causes of your problems. Try to figure out what is it that you often fight about and identify the common themes running through your arguments.

Are you really fighting about using the credit card for non-emergency purchases only, or are you clashing over your values related to money in general? Oftentimes, there is something much deeper to your arguments than what you see externally.

Couples fight about the differences between the principles and values they developed over a lifetime of growing up. The most serious arguments in a marriage always go back to your individual personalities and the factors that shaped them, such as your childhood experiences and past relationships.

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#2: Making The First Move.

Once again, if your spouse is uncooperative at this point, the next step is to consider what YOU can do to deal with your differences linking with your deep-seated personality conflicts. Ideally of course, you're supposed to reciprocate when it involves conflict resolution, but you can still kick-start a more positive atmosphere in your marriage by taking the initiative to be a role model.

Learn how to attack your problems and NOT your spouse during an argument. When you're riled up, it's extremely tempting to put down your partner and blame everything on their actions.

However, you can take the higher road by rallying your partner into working on the issues you're fighting about. This approach is better than attributing it to a perceived personality flaw they have.

Key phrases like, "I get what you're telling me, but help me understand why... " or "I'm really upset when you... " are valuable ways to focus the discussion on what you can do to resolve the issue. This a far better alternative to making allegations or firing off nasty words to "win" the argument.

Making this simple change in handling conflicts will build neutral territory and help you compromise with one another.

If there's one thing you should remember while trying to save your marriage, it's that you will undoubtedly turn out to be as a wiser and stronger person regardless of the outcome. Your efforts will reward you in many ways (such as personal growth) so you stand to achieve more by trying than to be passive about your marriage.

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If your spouse is eager to get out of the relationship, but you want to keep it together at all costs then you need to make sure that you are ready and willing to develop a plan of attack that will result in your spouse coming back to you again. Fortunately, it is not as hard as it may seem because your spouse loved you at one point in the past. Your only trick will be in re-awakening this past love that existed at one point in the past. You must decide if keeping your family together is worth making compromises, and if it is, then develop your plan of attack around a steady and stable path toward reconciliation.

Sometimes, the relationship may have gotten so bad that both parties can even start a single conversation without it developing into a monumental argument that dispels all chances of normal conversation. The stresses of everyday life can cause marriages to fall apart, and there is seemingly nothing that either party can do about. Some spouses feel helpless in the midst of burdens that both of the people must deal with, and it can put certain strains on the marriage that seem insurmountable. Bills, children, and medical problems are some of the things that cause marriages to rupture, but there is always hope. The trick is to not let the issue take over your marriage. You must take a path of compromise instead of the road to destruction.

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Sometimes partners don't appreciate each other at all after enough time in the relationship. This can be particularly troublesome when no one says or does anything, and each just carries on his or her normal life duties and responsibilities without an eye toward helping, complimenting, appreciating, giving, or cherishing the other one. If this is the case, then both partners can assume that the other partner doesn't love them anymore. The risk of not showing someone that you have affection for them is that they will assume all sorts of negative things about you instead of seeing your examples of daily love in their lives. The trick is not to just say that you love someone but to actually show them that you love them on a daily basis. If you don't make the other person feel valued and important by doing something that they really like or handling some of their duties, then you will let them think that they are not really that important to you. It doesn't do any good to withhold your strong feelings from them by remaining silent when you could be an active and vocal part in their relationship.

Even if both spouses love each other sincerely, at times they might find themselves getting more and more distant from each other and getting close to a divorce. But like me, you too can take some steps into saving your marriage and turning it into a satisfying relationship.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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Christian marriage counseling - many marriages go through difficult times, even Christian marriages. Christian marriages have a few different 'rules' than non-Christian marriages.

When you are in a Christian marriage, you are bound by a set of principles. A few of these are praying together, showing each other nothing but respect and honor, encouraging each other for marital progress, have no extra-marital affairs of any kind, and give many thanks to God for your very special marriage.

The Christian faith recommends that you resolve your marital differences and conflicts. If you start to lose faith, this would be considered a sin. Separation or divorce are simply not an option, unless there is extreme abuse.

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When your marriage is having difficulties, try to talk with your spouse about them. Try to see it through their eyes as well. Sometimes this will help you to see things in a different light, and in a way you haven't seen before, thus helping to to fix the problem.

You should talk to your Pastor. Christian Pastors know many different ways to help solve differences, and can give you many different pieces of advice that can help to save your marriage.

When you are determined to save your Christian marriage, look at your own behavior. If your marriage is suffering from lack of communication, then start to develop communication skills. Spend more time with each other. Be sure to show your deep love for your spouse. This love is what will hold the two of you together, through any crisis.

Now Listen Carefully-

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Author's Bio: 

50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You Can Save Your Marriage These powerful techniques will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save Your marriage today! Click Here

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

Do you have a unique situation? Discuss your marriage problems on our forum. We can help you find a great loving relationship! Go to: RelationshipTalkForum.com