Husband's Past Relationships Cause Problems in Marriage: How To Deal With Your Husband's Past

Husband's Past Relationships Cause Problems in Marriage: How To Deal With Your Husband's Past

So, do your husband's past relationships cause problems in marriage? Do you want to know what to do about this to make the best of the situation? When anything from the past harms marriage, you need to take steps to correct the situation.

You husband's past relationships may have been proper, but they may cause you some jealousy or frustration. On the other hand, if his past relationships were improper in some way, you have reason for concern, but you don't want that concern to hinder any real progress that is being made. You want to keep your feeling in check in order to keep from crating new marital problems. You will have to avoid things that trigger those negative feelings.

So what exactly do we need to avoid here? And why would you want to avoid those things?

Well, you see, whenever we are going to be working with dealing with problems from your husband's past, then we will need to know what we can do to make the best of this situation.

And so, here then are the 3 things you will want to avoid:

1. First off, thinking that your husband cannot change..

The main reasoning for this is that if you prejudge your husband in this area, thinking that he cannot change, he may lack very little motivation to try. Some changes take major effort, and sometimes there needs to be a measure of growth interspersed with some failures (I don't mean failures of your husband actually being unfaithful in the present marriage, though). If your husband doesn't feel any encouragement from you, why should he even try to change? If you husband's past problems relate to past relationships, avoid feeling like he is still tied to those relationships..

Just how much avoidance is the right amount? On the other hand, there should be some indication of change taking place in order for you to encourage him. You don't want to be naive, and you don't want to enable him to engage in continued harmful behavior. In the case of his past relationships, don't be blind to the fact that he might try to have an affair with an old flame..

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2, Second, bringing up the past..

And why is that? If your husband is genuinely making changes in his life, give him the benefit of the doubt. If he has genuinely repented of past wrongs, grant him the same forgiveness that you would desire for wrongs in your past. You also want to make sure you are not continually bringing up the past so that you have ammunition for present arguments. In the case of his past relationships, do not bring them up..

Just how can we tell what is actually enough or too much? You do have the right to remember the past, Just don't remember it against him. The reason why you have the right to remember the past is to see if genuine change is taking place. If such change is not taking place, then you don't want to have your head buried in the sand. The only time to bring up a past relationship is when you much evidence that he has not forsaken such a relationship..

3. Third and last but not least, being continually distrustful..

The reason for that is you actually want to build trust in your marriage. You want to build that trust in your own thinking, and your husband actually should want to build trust from you in the marriage. Your husband needs to feel that you trust him, and he should not feel that you suspect disloyalty from him anytime he gets around someone of the opposite sex.

When you avoid these three problems you can expect largely to eliminate the negatives. This goes quite a distance in solving, removing or avoiding whatever problems you might have about dealing with the fact that your husband's past relationships cause problems in marriage.

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While saving a failing marriage is an overwhelming task for anyone to be faced with, are you sure that you're even going about it the right way? I'm sure by now you've gathered some advice on this from various sources, but are you really getting the big picture of what you should do, or does every thing maybe seem to contradict each other? It can be very confusing at times. What I'd like to do is explain some areas that are of the most importance and encourage you to begin addressing these issues first and immediately if you want to save your failing marriage.

One of the first things that you should get a handle on, if no one else has told you or you haven't exactly came across this gem of information is, learn to back off of your spouse and pick and choose your battles carefully. Believe me when I say this, that your spouse is just as confused right now as you are. It may appear that they have it all figured out, what their going to do etc., but the reality is that they are just as scatter brained as you are at the moment. Don't let their over confidence or conviction fool you.

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Instead, respect that it's an extremely hard time for the both of you and you should allow your spouse some space and time to fully think this through without being in their ear all the time about the marriage. You know, sometimes just backing off and giving the impression of confidence on your own end can spark new talks about saving the marriage. Just this one little tactic can do wonders and create a sense of intrigue from your spouse as to wonder why your handling this so well, and not on their back about it.

Let go of the blame game, it only serves as a constant reminder of why the marriage isn't going to work. There are several things that you both have probably done that have built up to this moment. Does it serve any purpose to remind each other daily? No, if anything it only drives the both of you further apart, as you try and tally up the score of who's wrongs out weighed who's. It doesn't get you any where, nor does it aid in saving the marriage.

One last thing, learn and recognize fast how your emotions are making you act and react. You know you get heated, frustrated and just all around emotionally charged going through this. But, don't let this control what you're doing. Take a step back before you do anything hasty, rash or decide to hit below the belt so to speak during your altercations with your spouse. Things can get out of hand pretty quick, and a lot of things you just can't take back or do over, so think first, especially now how the reactions of your actions will best benefit your efforts to save the marriage.

Next, click here now to find out why your spouse is lying to you about the reasons they want a divorce. Follow the information step by step and you will discover the truth, cut through the lies and pain, stop divorce dead in its tracks, and rebuild the strong, intimate marriage you've always wanted... even if your spouse doesn't want to!

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Is your marriage is in dangerous crisis and you want to save your marriage? If that is the case, let me take a moment to congratulate you for simply not letting your marriage slip away. Most people do that and don't bother to try to save their marriages because they aren't as selfless and self-sacrificing as you are. You should be commended. I have been in a similar situation and saved my marriage - so I can help you!

The first thing you have to consider is that you absolutely have to quit begging, "heavy apologizing" and other desperate attempts to save your marriage RIGHT NOW. I know they are tempting to do, because they're probably the only things you can think of at this stage; but they do more harm than good. They make your spouse more fed up with you.

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What you have to do is the opposite of that. Instead of opening yourself to your spouse and begging for forgiveness; you should switch to playing "hard to get". The reason for this is obvious - people want what they can't get. And you're not helping anything when you are begging your spouse.

Saving your marriage requires careful consideration of your actions. You should always stay away from knee-jerk reactions. You should be more "elusive" to your spouse. Believe me - you won't be able to make a lot of progress in saving a marriage until you realize this and act accordingly! Never forget that people want what they CAN'T have!

I know that this is easier said than done, but it is exactly how I stopped my divorce and saved my marriage from what looked like a totally desperate situation. Like you, I needed help doing this. I found help from an outside source - and now I am your "outside source", and want to show you what I exactly did to save my marriage and how I did it.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

When you start bawling your eyes out and crying to the whole world, "my marriage is dead", you might want to stop for a moment and seriously consider if it is truly dead. Have you even tried working through you and your partner's differences?

Before anything, you have to stop thinking my marriage is dead. Quit being negative and figure out what could have happened. It takes both to make a marriage work, and both to ruin it. Stop pointing fingers and accept the fact that you are also at fault for your marriage heading downhill. Once you're passed the denial stage, you can sit down and have that all too important heart to heart talk. This is your chance to lay all your cards down, and hear out the concerns of your spouse as well. Make amends, compromises, anything that will help you work things out, if you're really serious about saving the marriage.

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It's easy to forget how you guys started out to begin with, especially with the stress of parenthood. It's always advisable to go away for awhile, away from the stresses of day to day life, and away from the kids. Take a vacation with just the two of you, to recapture moments lost. It helps to be able to clear your mind of all your worries for a couple of days and remember why you got married in the first place. You can also agree on having date nights. Schedule it around your kids' schedules, and keep it anything but routine. Lack of excitement can, and will, contribute to loss of interest. If that didn't work out, try a different tactic before you go on telling yourself my marriage is dead. There's always marriage counseling, although, you might want to consider going there first.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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