Husband Works Too Much Lonely: How To Get Rid Of Loneliness When Your Hubby Is At Work

Busy married couples sometimes find themselves struggling with finding time to be together at home. When one spouse works during the day and the other one is left at home, loneliness can set in. This is especially true for the newlyweds who have to deal with their different schedules.

The wives are often in this kind of situation particularly when their husbands have erratic work schedules and are only at home for a few hours. Weekends may not even be enough to spend quality time together.

So what then should you do if you find yourself in this very situation? How do you get rid of loneliness and move on with your daily life?

If you're an animal lover, why not get a pet to keep you company at home? Pets have a therapeutic effect and they sure can help you lighten up when you're alone in the house. But of course, you need to get the permission of your spouse first. With the right explanation and a little encouragement, you could eventually convince your loved one to get a dog or cat.

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Pursuing a hobby is also a good choice. Find a hobby that you have a great interest in. It can be photography, scrapbooking, painting, writing or sewing. Whether it's something you can do indoor or outdoor, it will surely keep your mind busy and when you develop more interest in it, you will forget all about that lonely feeling. And who knows, you can even earn an income from it later on if you wish to pursue it for the long term.

Another option that will keep you preoccupied is to start a small business. If you're business-oriented, you can set up a business that you can operate from your own home. Starting an online business is a great option today for the stay-at-home wives and moms. You can sell products or offer a service such as writing articles, providing professional advice, transcribing audio files and other tasks you're very good at. In this way, you're not only able to do the work you love but you're earning an income as well.

Pamper yourself every now and then, too. The time you're alone need not be lonely so while your husband is away, take the opportunity to watch your favorite movie at home, take a bubble bath, cook your favorite meal, do your workout, go to the spa for some body massage or have a hair makeover at the salon.

Going out with your girl friends will also be a big help. Having a social life is important so don't just stay at home most of the time. Being with friends can lift up your spirits and these people make life complete. Don't hesitate if they invite you for a meetup downtown or to attend parties and weddings. Just as long as you tell your husband about it, for sure he won't mind.

Become a well-balanced person by doing things you love while your hubby is away. Instead of entertaining loneliness, find ways to keep you busy and entertained. And when you're together with your spouse, just enjoy each other and take care of his needs.

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It isn't simple experience the miracle of healing an unhealthy relationship that is on the edge of its bitter end.

A Course in Miracles teaches that, "As long as you would have it so, so long will the illusion of an order in difficulty in miracles remain with you."

You, more than likely, do not really know what to do, but you are open to any advice for damaged relationships that will help you to work things out.

Remember that everyone and every couple is various, so not all advice will work equally well; however, if it implies you can be happy and content again, then all guidance is at least worth attempting.

As pointed out, not all suggestions for healing an unhealthy relationship works for everyone, however it is important that you constantly think about where the advice is coming from.

In other words, you need to ask yourself exactly what makes the person certified to provide you any suggestions for broken relationships and relationship problems.

Where can you get recommendations?

Talk to relatives who have actually been in a similar situation.

They have the advantage of personally understanding something about you and your relationship, and can make their guidance better fit your situation.

Good longtime friends can be another source of suggestions for damaged relationships, however you likewise have to take care that they don't have ulterior motives.

I mean that if your best golfing pal feels that your woman took you away from playing golf with the group of guys, then they might (even at a subconscious level) give you recommendations that doesn't work.

A professional counselor or marriage therapist can likewise provide you suggestions on how best to work things out in the unhealthy relationship.

The advantage here is that they can see your relationship as an unbiased observer, and they won't take sides when providing you guidance.

Once again, all this presumes that any of these people are qualified to give you relationship advice first of all for healing the unhealthy relationship.

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There are likewise a couple of things you can do yourself to take the sting out of a broken relationship, and here they are:

Be open to self-healing:

In a previous session I discussed free available information on the web about using time as your partner to get you through a healing situation.

Death isn't really the only situation that is associated with the grieving process, breakups also need grieving.

Offer yourself permission to go through that procedure and assure yourself that things will be much better on the other side of it.

You may not feel like it, but you need to get out and have a social life.

That doesn't imply you have to go out and start dating, not at all, but it does indicate that you need to go out with friends and do your finest to have some fun.

Allow time to be on your side:

Whether you plan on moving on with your life or wish to get back together with your ex, you have to give things some time.

You need that time to place your emotions in check and to come to terms with what has taken place.

Things will improve as you lighten up:

This little bit of suggestions for an unhealthy relationship appears so amazing, however it holds true.

The fact that you are reading this is evidence that you think that things can get better, and that perhaps you can get back together with your ex, which's a good thing.

You, most likely, don't truly know exactly what to do, but you are open to any suggestions for the unhealthy relationship that will help you to work things out.

Remember that every couple has a different scenario with relationship problems when they arise, so not all guidance will work similarly well.

As I 'd mentioned earlier but in a different way, if it implies you can be happy again, then all recommendations are at least worth trying.

As pointed out, not all relationship advice for men and women, too, works for everybody, but it is important that you constantly consider where the advice or suggestion is coming from.

In other words, you need to ask yourself what makes the individual qualified to give you any unhealthy relationship help and guidance.

And, again, friends can be another source of guidance for damaged relationships, but you likewise really should be careful that they don't have ulterior motives.

Try to see why trying to be in control of a relationship is bad news and leads to more relationship problems.

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We see and hear it every day, "Prime Time News, Prime Time Radio, Prime Time Sports, Prime Time TV. So where do you spend your "Prime Time"? Watching CSI, 24, The Unit, American Idol, Lost, Prison Break or any other prime time show?

Although these are intriguing shows that keep us captivated and entertained, is it the best use of our prime time?

Problem 1 - Is Your Life Governed By Your Calendar?

Maybe you're not a big TV fan, you spend you time watching or participating in organized sports. Or chauffeuring children to organized sports.

We are a busy society, and are often governed by our calendar. We pack so much into each day, that we may not have time left for the things that really matter the most.

Solution 1 - Ensure That Prime Relationships Get More Prime Time

Neal Maxwell made the following challenge, "Parents and grandparents, please scrutinize your schedules and priorities in order to ensure that lifes prime relationships get more prime time!"

Think about it, we'll put on our schedule to attend a PTA or a Scout Committee meeting, but when do we schedule time to take a child to the park and talk, or go to dinner alone with our spouse?

I've discovered that those who are organized, dependable and willing to serve, get many more invitations to "help out" than less conscientious people. Yet, it's the conscientious ones that probably care the most about their loved ones.

So how did we fall into the trap of giving our prime time and "prime-self" to our non-prime relationships?

The Challenge - Will You Re-evaluate The Use Of Your Time?

I'd like to challenge you to honestly take a look at all the many things you do each day, each week and each month. Certainly they should include service in your community, schools, Church or neighborhood. However, it shouldn't dominate your calendar to the point that your prime relationships take the back seat.

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Do not be fooled into thinking that going to a soccer game or practice is truly giving of your prime-self to your child. Watching TV with your family would not qualify as prime time either. If you aren't directly interacting with your family, it's not prime time.

The Sacrifice - Will You Spend Less Time In Outside Activities?

Our challenge is to honestly look at the way we are spending our life and really determine if we are doing the things that will strengthen our most important family relationships. We may discover that we need to balance our time to include our family more and spend less time in other activities.

It can be done, but it requires an honest evaluation of where we spend our time. Are you willing to give up or diminish the amount of time you spend in just one outside activity?

For example, my time used to be spent in the following order: PTA President, President of a Youth Organization at my Church, and mother of 5 children.

My time is now spent as a mother of 5, the President of our Women's organization at Church, and the Inclusive Chair on PTA. Although the motto of the PTA is "Every Child, One Voice", I realized my children didn't have much of a voice and I diminished by PTA duties so I could focus more on the prime relationships in my family.

I'm still busy in things of value, but I've changed the order and amount of time I spend in them, so that my family receives more of my prime time.

Will You Look Back And Smile?

When we are in the autumn of our life, it's my hope that we can look back to our prime relationships and say that we truly gave them our prime time.

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Many folks seem confused about the subject of submission. Hopefully, this article will bring to light some needed wisdom and understanding concerning this issue and put to rest the culturally accepted folklore we hear about everyday in society about submission. By the way, this is not my wisdom, it comes from God, and I am just His messenger.

Fact 1

Scripture says that the husband ought to (love) submit to his wife. What for? Why can't a husband just boss his wife around and treat her like a doormat? Why can't he demand that she do things for him? Because that is not acceptable behavior on how a Christian husband is supposed to love his wife. For the Christian man, there is a proper way to love his wife, and that is not being demanding, ruling, abusive, controlling, or bossy.

A husband's love is submission to his wife. So then I guess it works both ways. This is the kind of submission God is talking about because it is the same way Jesus Christ submitted to the Church.

Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her. Ephesians 5:25

Jesus Christ GAVE HIMSELF UP FOR THE CHURCH! What church? We are the Church! Jesus died for us. That is how a Christian husband is to love his wife. He is to love her by GIVING HIMSELF UP FOR HER. He doesn't literally die like Jesus Christ did, but he does make her well-being of prime importance in his life.

Fact 2

Submitting to your Christian husband does not mean you cannot think for yourself, or have your own opinions, thoughts, and ideas. On the contrary, it means you are free within yourself to respect, honor and love the man you married. It means you love God and trust your husband.

Many women feel threatened by a man because they do not feel good about themselves or because they were abused in the past and now they perceive all men to be abusive. Negative beliefs about submission tend to grow and grow and grow, until soon enough the majority thinks a woman who submits must be a back woods hillbilly. This is what I call a web of total deceit. People are deceived into believing what they have been conditioned to believe since they were young. It can be so brainwahsing that they actually begin to behave in the way they believe, and see no other way.

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Fact 3

A wife does not have to submit to an abusive husband. If a man is abusing his wife in any way, shape or form, then the scripture clearly does not apply. Did Jesus abuse the Church? No! A Christian man should try and be as much like Christ as he can be.

We are human and make mistakes. To err is to be human, folks. And everything in marriage is not going to fit into its nice little comfort zone all the time. Christian couples fight and yell, and even get angry and slam doors. This is not the kind of abuse I am referring to. This is normal marriage stuff that usually ends with repentance and forgiveness. If abuse continues in the relationship, that is what I am talking about.

Fact 4

Some couples already submit to each other and don't even know it! Submission is just another way to compromise oneself for the other. Submission is cooperation. Submission is giving way to something we want for something they want. My friend said to me the other day about how much she liked the book I wrote called, Journey on the Roads Less Traveled. She went on to tell me that she could never submit to her husband. You know what I told her? I said, really? That is odd because I see you submitting to your husband every time we are together!

Well, she had to think about if for a minute and she agreed with me. They have a great relationship. She is very independent minded by the way, but their relationship just kind of flows together as one unit because they are always giving in to one another, and they don't even know it! When you don't have to think about submitting, but just do it, that is a good relationship. So, why didn't my friend know that she already submits to her husband? Because her husband is not demanding, controlling, ruling, or abusive with her, he just loves her the best way he can through his own love for God!

Fact 5

Submission is a piece of cake when you trust in God. Submission takes one thing, and that is great humbleness. Humbleness comes from God. We learn to be selfish by the way we were raised, and what made an impact in our life while growing up. We either learn to remain selfish or we learn to grow out from that negative attitude, and learn to be free with who we are with others.

For instance, if I am not free to be me, then I cannot give any of myself away. If I am free with who I am, I am free to love others with the love that never asks for anything in return. Selfish people are too needy to love others properly. This is one of the major problems in marriage. Only when we give ourselves up like Christ gave himself up for the Church, can we love others properly.

Why do people humble themselves? Because they trust in God! Why do people trust in God? Because they are humble!

Fact 6

The best marriages are mutually submissive ones. Marriage is all about give and take, negotiation, and compromise. Think about your life with your spouse. In what ways do you compromise and negotiate with your spouse? What would happen if you rebelled over these issues? What happens when you only think about yourself?

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy, and good fruit, impartial and sincere.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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