Husband Says I Spend Too Much Money: Financial Issues In Marriage

Husband Says I Spend Too Much Money: Financial Issues In Marriage

Any marriage has its share of ups and downs no matter what your ages may be. Couples have differences in their views and opinions which could sometimes result in disagreements and conflicts. It's in how a husband and wife deal with their situation that can settle their issues.

A common issue in marriage pertains to finances. Many couples fight over money with some of them ending up in divorce owing to frequent conflicts on this matter. Most often, it's when a couple's income and expenses are not properly accounted for that starts the conflict.

It is, therefore, a must that right from the start, couples already discuss their financial plans and outlook. Every husband and wife should target to save for their family's future. This is regardless if both are working or the wife only works part time or just stays at home to take care of the kids. Any excess from your monthly income and expenses should be put into a savings account.

Monitor your expenses. Nothing can help you keep track of where your money is spent unless you write it all down on a daily basis. This may not be to your liking considering that it's time consuming but many couples agree that this is an effective method of determining your expenses and what's left of your money. So write down every expense including credit card and utility bills, groceries, gas, mortgage, clothes, household supplies, repairs and so on.

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There are various way that you can do this expense monitoring. You can write it down using the pen and paper method listing everything on a traditional notebook or you can record every transaction on your mobile phone and digital organizer. Another way is to create a spreadsheet on your computer and list everything there. In this way, you will be able to check and review where your money goes every day or on a weekly basis.

Add extra income. If one of you is not working but would like to augment your income, it would be a good idea to start a small business which you can just operate at home. There are numerous business ideas available today but pick one which you think can bring you additional income. You can also conduct garage sales or sell your extra and unused stuff at flea markets.

Eat at home. Make it a point to eat at home if possible. Studies have shown that frequent dining out is an expensive habit with some men and women who often eat out in restaurants not being able to keep track where their money was spent. Home cooking is a better and cost effective choice.

Use energy efficient fixtures. Going green is the trend today even in homes so make sure to use appliances and fixtures that are energy efficient to save you on your monthly electricity bills. Make it a habit as well to unplug appliances that are not in use.

There are many more ways that you can save money. What matters is you consistently do this to enjoy more savings moving forward.

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As a psychologist and sex therapist who has treated hundreds of couples, I feel sad when I see a pair of people who have lost the core meaning and behavior of what it means to be in a human relationship. Based on my own nearly 25 years of marriage, as well as what I've observed in couples, I recently wrote these 10 surefire tips for a long-lasting marriage. They are simple but powerful, as well as easy to implement, and I hope they prove helpful to you.

1. Make a point of saying hello and good-bye, good morning and good night. These are points of bonding and separation, and they count.

2. Hold hands when you are out walking anywhere. At least part of the time you are together, hold hands. This reinforces that you are sharing an experience, part of the foundation of intimacy.

3. Give little gifts. My husband is wild for anything chocolate and raspberry, so if I see something with this flavor combination, I buy it. It's a little way of letting him know that I am thinking about him when he isn't around.

4. Important rule: Everything you say should help build the relationship, not tear it down. If you just follow this one rule, you should see your relationship get better over time.

5. No fighting in bed. Use the bedroom only for sleeping and making love. You don't want to associate your bed with something negative.

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6. Share labor. Figure out your strengths and weaknesses and divide labor accordingly. Don't go by gender stereotypes. If the woman is better at remembering things, she can get the oil changed. If the man is better at details, he can do the dusting.

7. No yelling. If you're yelling, you are out of control. Try to recognize what happens in your body when you are getting upset and use those cues to calm down before things escalate.

8. Speaking of escalation, don't compete with each other in an argument. Instead of arguing, do problem-solving. You are working together to find an acceptable solution, not to persuade your partner to do things your way.

9. Schedule time together. If it means grabbing coffee in the morning together on an especially busy weekend, do it. Don't let more than a few days go by without spending some time talking and connecting.

10.Have sex. Couples that have regular sex are happier than couples that don't. It's what separates marriage from friendship. On average, couples have sex between one and three times a week to twice a month. Now forget the averages and figure out what works for you as a couple.

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When it comes to relationship advice for women, I'm no expert. I would like to think however that by being a man, I have an interesting perspective when it comes to how we think and what we do as a result of those thoughts. For example, it is no surprise that us guys love to touch women. I don't know what it is about you lot, but you sure are good to touch. Anyway, I've never been tempted enough to touch other women since I've been married, but I know men have been. If you're a woman who fears that your man may be getting too close to other women, this is what I would recommend.

1. Touch Him

It's very simple but think about it. If he is touching other women on his own accord, he obviously likes to touch women. If you aren't touching him or if you aren't allowing him to touch you, don't you think that that's unfair on someone who likes to touch or be touched?

It's the most primitive form of affection and some guys love it more than others. A simple touch, even if it isn't skin on skin, shows that you care and shows that you want to maintain that bond between the two of you. Touch him more and he'll want to touch other women less.

2. Meaningful Touch

Some women are comfortable touching in public. By this I mean holding hands, heads on shoulders, etc. However, when it comes to the household, there isn't much going on. It's basically just for show. In this case, it doesn't matter how much touching goes on, it's an empty touch, so to speak.

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When you embrace, really get in close. Full length of body against full length of body. Look into his eyes. Be soft, deliberate. I know this sounds pretty cheesy, but so many couples find that touching becomes awkward after marriage, like it's only something to do when you're young and dating. Why should it be like this?

3. Subtle Touches

Subtle touches are like meaningful touches on steroids. They are that much more powerful. Subtle touches build up pressure and can literally turn a man who is usually stone cold into someone full of passion and vigor.

Every man has different points that send electricity through his body. Wrists, neck, knee... whatever they are, touch them subtly throughout the day. He will respond more and more and will have no temptation whatsoever to touch other women, since he has a woman who knows about these secret spots.

If this relationship advice for women makes sense to you, go out and try it ASAP. I don't know how on spot my advice is, since I'm no relationship therapist or counsellor. It's simply what I would like as a man.

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Your marriage is the essential framework of your life. All other relationships are built around that. Your entire life is structured around that. Therefore, it is most important to save your marriage, if your relationship problems threaten your marriage. The question is: Should you consider counseling to help save marriage?

To find an answer to this question, you need to ask yourself another question: Is marriage counseling right for you? How will you know that? Just check whether you have any of these problems: Infidelity, Communication breakdown, Conflicts, Problems with children, Incidents of Violence in the family. If you have any of these problems, you should conclude that you need to consider counseling to help save your marriage.

Once you are convinced that marriage counseling would help you, you need to understand how. A marriage counselor is a professional who will be able to help you improve your family relationships. The marriage counselor is well trained to help you use communication techniques, conflict resolution strategies and other kinds of skills to improve various aspects of your family relationship. A therapist can do even better things by resolving deeper issues.

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The next thing to do is to choose a counselor or therapist. But how to choose the right person? You will have to speak to a few before deciding on the one who would be suitable to you. You need to gather some information through a personal interview. You should ask the right questions to find out the following about the counselor:

Some of the things you might want to find out include:

• Is he or she experienced in treating couple having the same problems as you have?
• What can you expect from counseling? The possible outcome.
• The treatment methods and the total charges

You may not be able to pose all these questions directly to the therapist. But you can easily get answers to these questions by engaging the therapist in conversation for a few minutes.

You can also get references from your friends and relatives. You can also use referral services offered by some non-profit organizations.

In the present times, we have other sources like the yellow pages, internet search engines etc. But it is always better to use the services of a counselor or therapist recommended by someone known to you. Other sources can be used to get more information to find a counselor who will help save your marriage.

The most important thing to remember is to choose a licensed professional because licensed professional are required to follow some standards.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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