How To Solve Problems That Arise When Care For Parents Is Required

As the population ages, it quickly becomes clear to children who have grown, moved out of home and started families of their own that they will have to provide care for parents at some stage of their lives. The provision of this care, however, can be hindered when other people decide to interfere. These are the three most common problems that arise when decisions are being made regarding care for parents, as well as how to solve them:

• Interfering In-Laws
When a parent lives with one of their children and their family, the other children may feel as if their sibling’s partner is interfering in the medical and financial decisions of their parent (and, sometimes, they are). What the siblings don’t seem to take into account, however, is that their sister- or brother-in-law is also providing a certain amount of care to the parent and actually cares about their well-being; they are only interfering because whatever decision is made also affects them.
How to solve: this problem can be solved by endeavoring to build a better relationship with the carer of your parent (regardless of who they are). If you need to, meet with a family counselor to mediate these discussions.
• Meddling Siblings
In a similar fashion, when one child is providing care for parents, they may feel as if their siblings are trying to butt in and make decisions regarding the medical and financial situation. The child may feel as if these are not decisions that should be made by their siblings, as they are not the carers of the parent and, perhaps, do not know the parent’s wishes.
How to solve: this problem can be solved by meeting with a financial adviser (as a family) and having a money plan put into place that no one can dispute. Getting your parent to write a living will can also ensure that their wishes are met.
• Disinterested Siblings
In a complete backwards flip, some children feel as if their siblings do not care about their parents at all and are happy to let someone else take on the role of carer. In these situations, the child may feel as if their siblings are not sharing in the financial burdens that caring for elderly or disabled parent entails.
How to solve: this problem can be solved by simply talking with your siblings and explaining to them that you feel as if they aren’t taking an interest in your parent and their health or financial wellbeing.

There are, of course, other problems that can arise when it comes time to make decisions regarding the appropriate care for parents but, as you can see, they can easily be resolved (if you are willing). Often, meeting with a financial adviser is a suitable solution, as they will be able to create a plan that everyone involved agrees upon, making it less likely to be disputed down the track.